MBTI & ADHD - my son

[alicia91]

I've been trying to figure out my 15 yo son's MBTI type for some time, but I just can't seem to. My other two kids I worked out no problem (ENFP & ENFJ). I think the issue with "A" is that he has ADHD - Primarly Inattentive type, and these symptoms interfere with the mbti diagnosis.

Any suggestions on how to type someone like him?

Some things about him:

Fairly reserved at home, doesn't share much at all, quiet, mostly keeps to himself - computer, Facebook, videogames
Outgoing around other teens, friends, and very flirtaceous around girls, teachers are shocked that I describe him as 'quiet'
Has horrible 5-senses skills. Doesn't notice his environment whatsoever.
Does not enjoy sensory/thrill-seeking type activities
Can be sentimental - is the only one of my kids who helps me decorate the Christmas tree!
Is passionate about acting/theater, singing and helping other people tangibly. He participates in mission trips, works at the soup kitchen. Wants to go to college for theater and/or social work.
Has the worst organization skills, study habits known to man, and therefore does poorly in school. When I kick his butt and threaten to take away everything but the shirt on his back - he pulls his grades up.

He's definately very different than my other two. I know that he's a Feeler. I also get Si vibes. But I can't imagine that he's a J!

 

[Jeffster]

What are the things that led to "work out no problem" your other two kids? And how is he different from them? Other than being labeled with a "disorder" I mean.

 

[BlackCat]

I got INXP just from reading what you wrote, and I guess that since you insist he's a feeler then he would be an INFP.

 

[Halla74]

I'm an ESTP male with ADHD. I'm no MBTI expert by any means but my guesses are below your comments below:

Fairly reserved at home, doesn't share much at all, quiet, mostly keeps to himself - computer, Facebook, videogames
Outgoing around other teens, friends, and very flirtaceous around girls, teachers are shocked that I describe him as 'quiet'

He could be on the border of E/I. My friend Aaron is this way. He's either ESFP or ISP, depending on what's going on in his life at a given time.

Has horrible 5-senses skills. Doesn't notice his environment whatsoever.
Does not enjoy sensory/thrill-seeking type activities

"N?"

Is passionate about acting/theater, singing and helping other people tangibly.

He participates in mission trips, works at the soup kitchen. Wants to go to college for theater and/or social work.

Can be sentimental - is the only one of my kids who helps me decorate the Christmas tree! [/quote]

"F?" Or is he just a nice kid? I'm a "T" and I enjoy all the above, that's a tough one for me to guess on.

Has the worst organization skills, study habits known to man, and therefore does poorly in school. When I kick his butt and threaten to take away everything but the shirt on his back - he pulls his grades up.

Classic "P" on these!

He's definately very different than my other two. I know that he's a Feeler. I also get Si vibes. But I can't imagine that he's a J![/QUOTE]

Good luck in typing your son. He'll be fine with his ADD/ADHD. I didn't even know I had it until my late twenties, but looking back on my life, it was sooooo obvious I always have. Plus, my mother now admits to having it, and my niece is ADD as well, so it definitely runs in my family. The creativity and positive attitude that go along with it are gifts, and once you learn to focus on that which you are not int to, but must do, then all is well. It just takes time and practice and patience.

 

[BlackCat]

I would like to add that I'm only 3 years older than your son, and Halla pointed out a good point here-

He could be on the border of E/I.

I consider myself an "outgoing introvert", meaning I do enjoy socializing and I love my friends, I am outgoing around other teens, like to be funny, like to flirt, all of those things. I am not "quiet" in school or in a social situation, but after that all I want to do is go home and be alone (after having been outgoing). It's a way of releasing energy.

 

[prplchknz]

I'd guess INFP.

 

[alicia91]

What are the things that led to "work out no problem" your other two kids? And how is he different from them? Other than being labeled with a "disorder" I mean.

My other two are just more obvious. When I look at a test or chart of the MBTI characteristics I can quickly say 'that's her!' 'that's him' With A, I'm kind of scratching my head. He's probably more towards the middle of the spectrum on some of the dictomies.

"F?" Or is he just a nice kid? I'm a "T" and I enjoy all the above, that's a tough one for me to guess on.

I got INXP just from reading what you wrote, and I guess that since you insist he's a feeler then he would be an INFP.

Actually, I should say that 'it makes sense to me that he's a feeler' but I'm not positive. But the main reason that I say that is that he tends to be very easily influenced by emotional arguments - almost to the point of being slightly gullible. He's definately a 'follows his heart' kind of guy. At the same time though, he wants to appear cool and not let us know this! I can't think of any decisions that he's made using thinking. But then, he doesn't share his thought process with us so I'm just basing this on observation.

I consider myself an "outgoing introvert", meaning I do enjoy socializing and I love my friends, I am outgoing around other teens, like to be funny, like to flirt, all of those things

That's what I suspect is the case with him. One difference between him and my other two is if we all go as a family to a new social situation - like a new neighbors house, the other two are chatting immediately and A will hang back and observe for quite some time. Then next time he sees these new neighbors he might say say a bit more and so on. Just seems to me that Es are outgoing with new people right away.

This is probably not type dependant but I want to mention that there are huge personality conflicts between him and my ENTJ husband. They love each other but.......

 

[nozflubber]

i'm ADHD-i and i gotta tell ya, some of the "symptoms" and my type characteristics tend to overlap, bigtime like when I say I hate small talk, it's because I really don't do it, ever. so boring, can't possibly hold my focus or anything. My attention filter is set to "INTP mode", so when I meet someone I'll usually forget their name in 0.2s, but always take note of their area of study or profession.

 

[CJ99]

Try talking to him about philosophy because he sounds N to me but i'm not sure about F/T. So talk about philosophy and if he talks back and find it interesting he is definatly N and you can tell easily enough from his views whether he is F/T.

 

[NewEra]

Can be sentimental - is the only one of my kids who helps me decorate the Christmas tree!

I'm a Thinker, and I love decorating the Christmas tree. But of course he still may be a Feeler.

Try talking to him about philosophy because he sounds N to me but i'm not sure about F/T. So talk about philosophy and if he talks back and find it interesting he is definatly N and you can tell easily enough from his views whether he is F/T.

I don't know about that because I enjoy discussing philosophy (many kinds at least) but I'm a Sensor.

 

[BlackCat]

The T and F is a tough call, but as far as I know INXP kids can appear to have ADHD due to being stuck in their heads. I know I seem that way to people.

I am an INFP that likes to be logical, I'm friends with INTPs who are warm and kind to other people. It's all odd, you can't really stereotype that kind of thing that well. Fi and Ti are internalized, and INFPs and INTPs can look alike because they express this internal knowledge with their Ne.

I'd say just get him to take the test? "Hey, I thought you might be interested in this- it's a personality theory." And go from there.

 

[sculpting]

My oldest son was considered ADHD for a while and took meds, however we had to take him as the med-nonmed mood swings were so drastic as to be detroying our family.

We finally put him a school with a bunch of science kids, and dont give him any meds and he is a silly, funny, clever, spastic little enfp. He couldnt organize himself out of a cardboard box. Not sure where he got that .......

I wouldn't rule your kid out as not being an enfp. What I noticed about myself and my son is that we both Do/did not like to share what we were feeling as teenagers. I was horrified to have feelings as I felt they were a huge weakness. He is much healthier but he is still very hesitant to share his feelings with me. I think they can be really strong and he has to sort them out in his head and feels that he needs privacy to do that. So even though your kiddo may be quiet-perhaps he just keeps this stuff inside him a bit more, more closely protected.

 

[alicia91]

Yesterday he took the Insight Game test and came out ESFP. However, I wasn't impressed with the S-verus N test questions which basically were S=down to earth and doing things versus N=artsy and dreamy.