There's a guy I work with who I'm having real trouble typing. First I thought he was an INTP, then I thought he was an ISTP, now I'm not so sure.
On first meeting him most people are put off. He has long, matted black hair, is usually wearing a black metal t-shirt that says something overly anti-social like, "Jesus Hates You and So Do I", and black or camo trousers cut badly to three quarter pants over long rugby or school socks.
He is lazy and, to put it nicely, incompetent at his job. He's in his mid-to-late-twenties and a decade of marijuana abuse has made him incapable at learning new tasks or noticing finer details. His desk is a total sty with three or more cups of old coffee in various stages of decomposition from days or weeks past and dirty dishes he has stolen from the staff cafeteria sitting under his desk in a pile of clothes waiting for him to inevitably throw them out with little regard for the actual owners.
In his unnatural habitat he is quiet, cordial, confused and keeps to himself. But around our department he is somebody totally different. He has charmed all of us, not by the usual route, not by being helpful and warm, but, paradoxically, by being rude, cynical, nasty and childish. He manufactures noise, usually fart noises, baby-crying, humming and bad cockney accents. He targets people for small issues and blows them way out of proportion.
There is someone who sits in front of him who wears a hat which has a large tear in it, yet this person continues to wear it. To this bogan it's bait for abuse; all day it's, "Hole in the hat, get some better material, like your hat, get it? Material for the hat! Ah! Hole in the hat, hole in the hat!" I may be doing him a slight injustice, but you get the idea. And these are the jokes that make sense, he has also taken to accusing this same person of being a cat. "Merow!" he'll say "Better get you a scratching post, ahaha! You'll be curled up all weekend eating that Purina, won't you you scrowly thing?"
His work ethic is atrocious, he gets so many complaints and things I taught him the day before are already long forgotten. When he gets confused he either goes really quiet and stands in front of the problem for ten minutes not doing anything or he gets my attention, points to his computer screen and makes childish humming noises, "Mmm mmm!" After I finishing helping he's straight into insulting me or anyone else. When I alert him to the fact he's made a mistake and I rub it in that's it's a particularly stupid one, his answer is usually, "There a more important things in the world to worry about, there are people out there without arms or legs and here we are worrying about work." There is no way to answer this, usually because everybody is falling about laughing.
He is often contrary for the sake of being contrary and will pick an opinion based on it opposing that which is popular. A conversation can go:
Me: Did you see South Park last night?
Him: South Park is shit.
Me: South Park isn't so good at the moment.
Him: What are you talking about, it's the best ever. You're just jealous (and other non sequiturs).
His two main interests outside of work are mountain biking and music. People have commented that he looks like the wicked witch of the West on his bike and they're not wrong. His music he is obsessive about, both collecting and making it. He has hundreds of gigs of music stored and he won't let anyone download any like it's his baby. The music he makes he won't share either, but it's usually "ambient anti-human space sounds" as he deems it.
He makes derogatory comments of all kinds especially racist, and towards me homophobic, calling me a "rice queen" or a "fat faggot". In fact there is no one who either says so many nasty things to me or to whom I can say so many nasty things. We very, very rarely hurt each other's feelings. I often worry that he's going to be found out by the company for the low-achieving wastrel that he is and be fired, so I and others are constantly trying to shield him from it. Not, the argument could be put forward, that he deserves it.
So what type does he sound like?