I'm not really sure at all what type i am. I know i'm Introverted, that is the one thing i am absolutely sure of. On the tests that i have done i have gotten mostly ISFJ, with INFJ coming after that. I seem to have more in common in terms of beliefs and such with the ISFJ.. but i'm not so sure about it.
I will now procede to bore you with lots of random (possibly unimportant) information about myself (please accept my apologies =P):
I feel like I am polite, loyal, and respectful of others (to an extent). I find that for me to be (proper) friends with someone I have to develop some comfortability with them first before I let out the ~real~ me, and start making more jokes and such. I am somewhat shy. I feel this largely comes back to me not feeling worthy currently, as I am not very happy with the current me that is me right now. I enjoy sports and team environments a lot. IDK why, but I just love it and am very loyal to my teammates, and find it very easy to feel comfortable to make jokes and such.
I am very distant with my parents in some ways. I do not share an absolute ton with them. It is somewhat because they have closed minds, IMO, but also because Iíve just always had somewhat of a disconnect with them. We are not the same, we are very different, me and my family. I am probably closest to my eldest brother out of everyone in my family even though he hasnít lived at home (for much) in the past 8 years or so of my life. I still love everybody in my family, and have a lot of affection for them, and would die for them (if it came to it), but I am just not open with them much at all?
My ease of being laid back and just.. ~kicking it~ and telling jokes varies depending on my mood. I always enjoy it a lot though. Not sure if that has any relevance, but w00t for in4mashun.
I have a strong dislike for the idea of an ISFJ based on their summary as it just sounds so boring to me (admirable, no doubt, but boring), so I kind of donít like the idea of being an ISFJ.
I have plans for myself. Only fairly basic plans, but, for instance i plan to go over to America and Canada (i live in Australia) in the next couple of years. I've been planning this for a fair while now, it is something that i want to do ridiculously bad. I only just recently fully got underway into actually, y'know, taking steps toward carrying out this plan. I got myself a job a few weeks ago, and i plan to save 50-70% of my paychecks a week towards that trip so that i should have plenty of money to go over there in a year and a half to maybe two years. So far i'm doing okay on that with not having spent a dime of my earned money yet, and not really feeling a special need to (apart from a couple of days where i seriously considering giving a friend $40-80 to help he/she out with something that i considered somewhat important. They fixed that on their own, so it doesn't matter anymore, but anyway).
Again, i do plan out things in my life somewhat, but in my current environment i feel that that is something that is very important if i wish to survive (and thrive) and not just retreat into a corner. I have set goals for myself that are very important to me, and i will be incredibly upset if i don't achieve them. There are many goals too that are important to me but also ones that i can live without accomplishing. Is that an ISFJ thing? I was reading that they like to plan things out and are kinda strict about it, but i'm not so sure that that is totally me. I may have a mild version of it, but not an absolute.
I do note down things to remember (in my mind, and now in a more literal sense when it's something that i worry i might not be incredible at remembering) in regards to other people. I am pretty much 100% sure on what i plan to get a friend for her birthday (she never asked, nor ever suggested it, but i think it'd be something she'd love, and i just really wanna get it for her), and i just wish it weren't so far away. Apparently that's an ISFJ thing, but i feel that that is something that a lot of people do with people they care about, no? I also have a good idea of what i plan to get for a few people in my family, and another friend, already, but yeahhh...
I am heavily into music. A lot of the music that i am into i like more if it makes me ~determined~ there is a line from a song that i like a lot that really connects with me. It is:
"What you donít believe or see now you will know later
I idolize this man that you will know later
We got a ways to go before we idolize this man"
Don't take the ďidolizeĒ literally, but this is something that makes me feel determined, and i connect with it somewhat? Heh, IDK. I also like music that i do not connect with a whole lot, too, so i feel like music may not give any idea of what 'type' i am.
As you can see in my sig, I also often put music lyrics in my AIM away, my signatures and such these days. Sometimes itís just awesome lyrics that I canít relate to, sometimes itís music that I relate to, and sometimes it relates to how I feel at that moment (good luck guessing all of those at the times =P).
I struggle with the idea of not being able to fix things for people that i care about. Currently my family is going through some troubles and i strongly wish i could help, and i try to help as much as possible.. but there are also things that i strongly wish to do that prevent me from helping as much as i somewhat wish i would. I feel a large amount of guilt over this.
I compare myself incessantly to other people, to the ~me~ that i want to be, and such and i find that i come up short a lot. That upsets me somewhat, but also only furthers my determination to improve myself. I have a huge amount of determination but my discipline (in acting on that determination) falters a fair bit. I have troubles with my friendships a fair bit too, I sometimes feel likeÖ ďWhy are they friends with me? I donít really deserve their friendship.Ē Ö.wow, Iím sorry, that makes me sound really emo. =/
I do not like burdening people with my problems, and try to do that as little as humanly possible, but i also very much enjoy helping other people with my problems. I realise that these two things may contradict each other. I think maybe i don't see myself as equal? That i don't consider myself worthy of having them help me with my ~burdens~. Or maybe i see myself as weak if i do, that i can handle my own problems, that i don't want people to bare my burden, i can do it? Maybe it's a bit of both? But i feel like the latter implies that i think the people who i try to help out are ~weak~ when that is simply not true in the least. It's 99% of the time the exact opposite. Uhh, I read that this is somewhat of an ISFJ characteristic (the "burden" thing), so is that another clue that i am an ISFJ, or what?
I find it hard to cry sometimes on my own. I find I only really cry when another person is crying. I suppose in some ways I donít really realise things until then (even then I donít really ďcryĒ), and also sometimes itís cry-by-association? ROFL. IDK how any of this is relevant. IDK what Iím saying. (ďI never know what Iím sayingĒ < / firefly/serenity reference)
Also, a while ago I started playing an MMORPG called Lord Of The Rings Online with a few friends, and since one of those friends has since moved on (and the other I am no longer friends with Ė long story Ė heís an absolute douchebag ^_^) I donít really enjoy it at all (but I like the idea of it) unless I am playing with a few of the friends that I made in that game. Does that have any relevance? Haha.
I realise i am sharing a lot right now but these are some things that i actually suppose i needed to put into words and that i thought maybe would help to understand who/what I am. And maybe you guys can help me get a better idea of maybe who i am/what i am? I am still a teenager, so i suppose i'm still growing into who i am and a lot of this seems to convey ~self doubts~ which are somewhat typical of teenagers, right?
Wow.. If any of you actually read this, I commend you. And Iím, again, very sorry for the idiocy and rambling thatís rampant in this post. I feel like I just told you my life story, ugh. =P
Soooo, what am I, my pplz?