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  1. #1
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    Default Can she be INFJ??

    When I first ran across her, it was in a local community newsgroup where she was making a dramatic goodbye after being dragged over hot coals for something tactless she said about home schooling methods and abortion. I had never met her face to face at this point, but I e-mailed her and said didn't she think that was a bit hasty, and she'd probably feel a dickwad later for it.

    Several months later she e-mailed me and said she figured I was right, she had overreacted and after all, she had been very tactless. She said she just hated it when people were so irrational and took things too personally and couldn't just talk about things without getting het up, so she'd felt like she just had no future in a group like that.

    Since she came back to the group, she and I have become friends. We get along very well, and she repeatedly shows a preference for things to be explained logically, without personal bias or emotion.

    A typical exchange between she and I would be how, this afternoon, we took the piss out of a woman who signs all her posts on the newsgroup with "I birth my babies at home", we e-mailed each other after seeing each other at a meeting this morning where I said i was sorry for not getting round to reading her blog. These are the emails:

    Don't worry about not reading my blog, honestly I'm not the needy type, I'm not hurt or anything that you didn't read it. I haven't read yours either. - Linda (I have my babies surgically removed from me)

    LOL! - Sam (So did I and I'm a man!)

    PMSL!!

    Honestly though, I do mean to read your blog, what's the link again? - Sam (I threw my babies in the river but the bastards swam back)

    *gives link* - Linda (I swallowed a knife and my baby cut its way out when it was ready)

    ---------

    This woman is fond of the whole MBTI thing and agrees with my 'diagnosis' that I'm an ENTP. But I find it rather difficult to see her as an F of any type, though she says quite confidently that she's an INFJ.

    What do you think?

    edit - this is her blog, if it helps the diagnosis: [link removed - explanation below!]
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  2. #2
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Maybe I read that too quickly but that was a little freaky like you're excited or something. Anyway I agree with her, you're an ENTP and if she believes she's an INFJ then she prolly is. I believe you can't type a person based on words alone. Looking into someone's eyes can be very telling.

    Do you think she'd mind you posting her blog here for us to see? I'd be more than irritated if it were me.

    Seems though you really like this woman, would you say it's mutual?
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  3. #3
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    No I'm not excited in that sense, the multiple question marks are to express incredulity, not excitement.

    No I don't think she'd mind posting her blog for anyone to see, why else would it be on public webspace? If people want to restrict access there are ample ways to do so. I know I wouldn't even consider the concept of irritation about someone putting a link to my website somewhere - how absurd!

    I do like her though, and from her regular invitations and stuff I'd say yeah it is mutual. But platonic, before you 'go there' that's the other reason I find it hard to see her as INFJ... I've never clicked with one of that type before!! lol
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    No I'm not excited in that sense, the multiple question marks are to express incredulity, not excitement.

    No I don't think she'd mind posting her blog for anyone to see, why else would it be on public webspace? If people want to restrict access there are ample ways to do so. I know I wouldn't even consider the concept of irritation about someone putting a link to my website somewhere - how absurd!

    I do like her though, and from her regular invitations and stuff I'd say yeah it is mutual. But platonic, before you 'go there' that's the other reason I find it hard to see her as INFJ... I've never clicked with one of that type before!! lol
    That's interesting. I've always scored INFJ and while I like you, (and i say this with love in my heart) there is something that makes me want to bop you over the head.

    In any case, does it matter what type she is or how much you enjoy her company?
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  5. #5
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    back at you dear, right back!

    if you mean does it matter in the sense of does it factor into my decision as to whether or not to associate or whatever then no, of course not. but part of the fun of being into MBTI is typing your friends and family... intellectual curiosity, possible real world applications, grappling with systems and reconciling inconsistencies - ring any bells?
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  6. #6
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    I'll ring your bell.

    Yeah I know what you mean. I'm supposed to get on well with ENTP's but the ones I've met here and irl are too outgoing (and nit picky) for me so I don't see how that could work. My INTJ is very easy for me to get along with, however I can't see anyone else understanding him as well as I do. While I don't agree with his opinions on everything (they can be harsh) I always understand where he's coming from.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  7. #7
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    When I first ran across her, it was in a local community newsgroup where she was making a dramatic goodbye after being dragged over hot coals for something tactless she said about home schooling methods and abortion. ...I e-mailed her and said didn't she think that was a bit hasty, and she'd probably feel a dickwad later for it.

    Several months later she e-mailed me and said she figured I was right, she had overreacted and after all, she had been very tactless. She said she just hated it when people were so irrational and took things too personally and couldn't just talk about things without getting het up, so she'd felt like she just had no future in a group like that.

    ... she repeatedly shows a preference for things to be explained logically, without personal bias or emotion.

    A typical exchange between she and I would be how, this afternoon, we took the piss out of a woman who signs all her posts on the newsgroup with "I birth my babies at home", we e-mailed each other after seeing each other at a meeting this morning where I said i was sorry for not getting round to reading her blog. These are the emails:

    Don't worry about not reading my blog, honestly I'm not the needy type, I'm not hurt or anything that you didn't read it. I haven't read yours either. - Linda (I have my babies surgically removed from me)

    LOL! - Sam (So did I and I'm a man!)

    PMSL!!

    Honestly though, I do mean to read your blog, what's the link again? - Sam (I threw my babies in the river but the bastards swam back)

    *gives link* - Linda (I swallowed a knife and my baby cut its way out when it was ready)

    ---------

    This woman is fond of the whole MBTI thing and agrees with my 'diagnosis' that I'm an ENTP. But I find it rather difficult to see her as an F of any type, though she says quite confidently that she's an INFJ.
    Why do you have issues with it?

    Some INFJ females are dour and dark and have a deliciously violent sense of humor like that. There's also the focus on Fe that you saw. "Cutting their way out of the womb?" That might shock you, if you expect F women to avoid thoughts like that... but honest, INFJ women I've met have had the most violent dark fantasies, involving violence and death and other creepy things, than any other sort of NF woman I know.

    The thing to remember is that usually they'll just "break the Fe rules" in private with people they trust. They will usually, unless really upset or violated, keep a proper approach to social affairs and not make a stink. But when their values are violated, expect them to dig in.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Why do you have issues with it?
    I don't get it... why does anyone think I have 'issues' with it? I don't have any issues, i'm just curious, geez! I mean if you met a middle aged male ESTP who hated motorcycles and loved pressing flowers and spending time with his grandma and reading books about relationships, you'd find it interesting, surely?

    Wait... F's and personalizing stuff...

    Actually, regarding the blog link I just emailed her saying:

    Hey, considering you have a blog that's on public webspace with apparently no restrictions to access - are you one of the "yeah, it's public webspace so I don't care who links to it and where" types or are you the "it's only polite to ask me first before linking to me, I'd feel violated and offended if someone I didn't know was talking about my blog without me knowing" types?

    to which she replied:

    I don't care who links to it or talks about it! I don't get that attitude of ask if you want to link to me, it's the internet! Of course it might be a blow to the ego if some random person linked to it to take the piss out of my mundane life, but I think I'd survive! Link all you like Linda (I breastfeed my teenager)

    But, if she really is an INFJ then I'm taking the link off anyway. One of the reasons I've had trouble with this type in the past is what from my POV seems like an obsessive attitude towards their own privacy, equalled only by their ability to justify snooping and stalking on others!!
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  9. #9
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    ...But, if she really is an INFJ then I'm taking the link off anyway.
    I think your criteria for weighing INFJ is too rigid.

    Yes, there's a sense of what is "appropriate" due to Fe.
    But there's a strong independence as part of this as well.

    She told you she didn't care.
    She doesn't care.
    If she chose to put herself out there, then she's out there.
    She can still be INFJ.
    (I can't say she is; but nothing you've said is a flag against it at all.)

    I don't even know how to explain it to you, I'm getting flummoxed. I feel like you're trying to read her from the outside in... looking to mark off a checklist that will somehow validate her as INFJ or not. Motivations matter more.

    I guess it's far more complicated to explain this than I had thought. Sigh.

    One OBVIOUS trait. She's an I ... and autonomous.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #10
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    though... actually Jennifer it wasn't the dark fantasies that surprised me - my ENFJ sister is one of the darkest people I know in that sense so I know Fe types can be like that. The local goth pub is full of NF's!

    No, it was more the repeated preference for reasoned debate, impersonal expression, logical explanation, together with the general tactlessness in groups. These seem more like T-type preferences to me... admittedly many F's break the mould, but to break all of them at once, consistently... tends to suggest they belong in a different mould!

    You're flummoxing me too jennifer, actually - you're suggesting agendas and intentions that hadn't even crossed my mind. I started the thread with a totally open mind wanting input precisely because I hadn't reached any conclusions and felt that my 'criteria' had been challenged, therefore wanting info to help revise them! Quite the opposite of what you're suggesting. It's like you've forgotten how ENTP's work

    (and I was only joking about the snooping thing - deadpan mode, sorry)
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

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