I'm judgemental. I jump to conclusions. I have no self control. I'm as dull as this room's off-white interior. I don't think before I act. I'm either numb as hell or moody. I'm lazy as fuck. I want to be popular. I get all worked up cuz I dress like shit while really trying to be fly. I act like I'm all powerful, but I'm shivering, scared as fuck, wondering what the hell I'm really good for. They see me as a force, as a problem, as someone to get all "jealoused" up about, and I'm sitting here wondering why I'm so irrelevant. I have motivation, and once I start moving, I scare myself back in a corner. I can't stand up for myself. I don't give a shit about many things. I get manipulated as easy as fuck. Someone can keep mentioning some irrelevant garbage that doesn't mean anything, and by the time they finish their sentence, I'm seeing it as something profound that I need to start worrying about. What am I about? Where am I gonna end up? Why have I never given a shit about anyone? How can I hang around a bunch of INTPs, a bunch of people that are supposed to be just like me, and still feel that mountain of bullshit trying to swallow me whole?
What the fuck am I really?
Where are the fools that I'd get on and along with?
I wonder if this is the fucked up life that's gonna be mine till the day the sky starts falling.
Never had a friend, its always been bullshit. Never been able to trust anyone, they always wanted something. Never had a real girlfriend, its always been some lame asses holding nothing but pity for me, trying to feel like they are making a fucking difference. "I sacrificed my image to be with you.. you should fucking worship me." No, fuck you!
This is shit.
Still looking for that light, where the fuck am I going to find it?