My discovery that I am an INFJ is a new discovery.
I have always joked that I failed personality tests. . . The results never seemed to make sense. Am I an introvert or extrovert? Am I logical or emotional? About the only thing that has ever been consistent is that I am a change leader.
I will never forget my DISC results that said that the motivating factors for my dominant factors were such polar opposites that it is difficult for them to exist in a single personality.
It has been a relief to finally take a personality test where I didn’t perceive the results as conflicting. The description was dead on point.
I have worked in the humane industries, for mental health systems and now with the national Medicare Provider Network. I found my nitch as a data analyst where I can discover the root cause of problems and issues create solutions. It is not a desire, I can’t stop myself. I have to understand the problem and I have to create solutions. I continue my work with the humane industry running a low cost pet vaccination service and volunteering with Emergency Animal Rescue (physical rescue of animals in life threatening situations).
I am very introverted at parties and large social gatherings but am the virtual opposite when a gathering is focused on something I can wrap my head around. No one at work would believe that I am an introvert.
I love the work that I do, knowing that I am responsible for assuring that our elderly have access to medical care. But my job is a part of the insurance industry, which is profit centric. The conflict is often difficult for me to manage. I don't trust our leadership to do what is ultimately best for our customers and for our country. My ability to find solutions is treasured; my community centric ideals are a misunderstood anomaly. I am good heartily teased because I will be invited by the cab driver to come home and have dinner with his family and know that the cashier in the cafeteria visited my hometown last year when we are at a 2 day meeting at headquarters. The corporate leaders that I work with don't know anything about the people who serve them every day. I am often the thorn in their sides.
My sister refers to my circle of friends as my posse. I have never before thought much about my friendships with others. I don’t have short term, revolving door friendships. My friends have been gathered one at a time. My longest friendship is with by 3rd grade best friend. We live 3000 miles apart and have kept in touch and close for over 40 years. If having a posse means you have true friends that have stayed the course year after year and we have each other’s backs, then I guess I proudly have a posse.
I am in love with an ESTP. My relationship with him is quite different than any other relationship I have or have ever experienced with another person. He is this big, loveable, athlete who is amazingly comfortable in his own skin. He doesn't understand why I find it fascinating that he loves the scent of Jasmine and will take a jasmine bubble bath with me and go out for the evening without a caring that he smells like flowers. He says he likes the way it smells.
He doesn’t need me. He doesn’t drain me. He loves to shelter and protect me.
Everywhere we go he gathers and entertains a crowd. But he keeps me by his side which allows me to observe the crowd and interject only when I am comfortable.
He is both baffled and intrigued by the various sides of my personality. He loves to watch me when I am a leader and to learn from me, and he respects my intelligence and admires my idealism. He adores when my insecurities rise and he can push me beyond my comfort zone or pull me in and comfort me and somehow he knows which approach is needed.
His here and now attitude is both endearing when we are together and infuriating when we are apart. He won't remember to call, may or may not return e-mails or text messages and the man can't plan anything. I need to know what is happening next and when he is going to call and every 5 minutes that passes makes me more insecure and doubtful. But when he finally remembers to call he knows that he screwed up again and works so hard at making me smile that I have to forgive him.
It is not always an easy relationship. At times both my insecurity and his fear of commitment have challenged us. But there is deep, inexplicable connection between us that no challenge has been able to break.
Looking forward to reading insights from other INFJs and learning more about the other personality types so that I can better understand how other personality types work.