Hello. I'm new to the forum, and have scored both isfj and infj on tests. I stumbled upon the forum because I've always been mildly obsessed with anything relating to personality types; astrology, archetypes, left brain/right brain etc. and I was doing a search about isfj's and poetry because I was trying to narrow down my type (and I got the impression isfj people aren't usually too into art, art appreciation, or poetry. And I really am). I stumbled on a thread which was basically pretty crushing as an isfj...one of the 'isfj bashing' threads you might say. Of course these people were mostly just sincerely perplexed and having gotten on the 'wrong side' of the isfj people they were describing they felt intensely judged by the isfp's and like they were shallow, rule driven, neurotics.
It was very painful for me to hear one articulate post after the other describe, what for me, has been a part of my personality that has emerged at times where I felt I was watching myself from the sidelines thinking..."What are you DOING! Stop it!!!"
But as skin crawlingly painful as it was, I couldn't stop reading. I read and read for hours until my husband started getting worried and asking if I was alright...and I wasn't really. I felt wave after wave of self loathing over the awful and true things I was reading. But in another way I felt wave after wave of relief thinking "here are all those intuitive, EMPATHETIC people I'd always dreamed were out there". I've always prided myself on being empathetic and I could suddenly see that while that may well be true in some ways, I was not being nearly as empathetic as I thought it was. Plus, nothing is more interesting to me than what makes people tick.
I went for a drive to the park with my (probably enfp) husband and noticed my internal movements towards judgement around every turn. I noticed myself looking at current situations and comparing them to past events to decide what to expect as if the past rules the future (and I know it doesn't) I just kept thinking 'How did I let myself get this way????'
I'm actually in an online course (given by an intj) about your internal map of reality, the meaning of life (he he he) and finally how to achieve everything you've ever dreamed of in life. HE insists that these personality tendencies are, in the end, flexible. I thought he was pretty far off on some of the other things he said at the beginning of the course (It's an 18 month course and I'm nearly done) but I've found he really was right, at least for me. So I'm pretty open minded to his opinions at this stage in the game. And I've always been one of the most chameleon-like people I know. So I hope he's right.
Anyhow, I never had any desire to post in a place like this....but I'm just so grateful and moved by the articulate people in this forum that I have to say thank you for opening my eyes in a very profound way. I consider open mindedness. empathy, and willingness to communicate to be three of the most important things imaginable.
I found those things in abundance here and really, it's lucky my time is flexible because I could just read and read this stuff till my tiny head explodes.
Thanks to you all.