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  1. #21
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnKent View Post
    I think the best moment is when I meet someone amazing. Those first weeks/months are magical.
    When I meet other people I connect with or feel attracted to, that's when my dark side comes up, and I get flirty and silly. Then before I know it Im back in a ditch, lying and cheating :O
    What's the primary trait in others that make them seem amazing to you? Why do you go after other amazing people when you are already with one? What compels you to do so? Why not simply end the relationship with the other in favor of the new one?

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnKent View Post
    I lie because I love and care deeply for my partner and I dont want to hurt/disappoint/lose her.
    I never pursue relationships, but when I fall for someone I really throw myself 100%, then end up in a relationship. I'm a very passionate person and I sleep with many women when Im single so sooner or later I come across someone amazing that I want to keep for myself

    Writing these things is very therapeutic, thanks for your questions!
    How do you care about your partner by lying to her? What would happen if you didn't lie? What happens when the lie is exposed?

    Why do you sleep with many women? What happens if you don't get frequent sex?

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    What's the primary trait in others that make them seem amazing to you? Why do you go after other amazing people when you are already with one? What compels you to do so? Why not simply end the relationship with the other in favor of the new one?



    How do you care about your partner by lying to her? What would happen if you didn't lie? What happens when the lie is exposed?

    Why do you sleep with many women? What happens if you don't get frequent sex?
    What I see in people? Its sad but, such little things. Sometimes a great personality, other times someone really fun, or sensitive, or attractive... It's an endless list. I can get obsessed with someone so easily its scary. But that goes away fast if that person becomes boring or uninteresting in my eyes. If they don't, then I end up in a relationship.

    I think Im just really possesive. I can have other people but if my gf even lets guys flirt with her, I go mad. I want everything but Im not willing to let go of what I already have... Wow that sounds so inmature...
    At some point in the relationship I dont want to hurt my partner so I lie, hoping that it will go away and it will be over (the affair or crush or whatever). It always works, except it always comes back. Endless loop. Everytime I think "Thats it, never again" but who am I kidding. It wont ever stop if I dont do something drastic.

    I always thought my partner wouldnt be able to take the truth. As it turns out I was wrong, I totally underestimated women. My gf has been so amazing through all of this. She is totally broken hearted of course, and she is leaving me, naturally. But her support and understanding are so inspiring it serves as an ideal of integrity and patience to me.

    Im not addicted to sex. I can have it or not, its not a big deal. It's the thrill of the forbidden, the adventure, the sparks, the romance... That's what Im addicted to. When I'm single and I go out, I'm not thinking of sex, not even when I meet someone awesome. One thing leads to another and before I know it it just happens.
    It's like I believe myself to be a character in an Oscar Wilde novel, and Im racing against the clock, trying to live as fast as possible before it's too late and I regret not having squeezed every drop of passion in my soul

  3. #23
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnKent View Post
    What I see in people? Its sad but, such little things. Sometimes a great personality, other times someone really fun, or sensitive, or attractive... It's an endless list. I can get obsessed with someone so easily its scary. But that goes away fast if that person becomes boring or uninteresting in my eyes. If they don't, then I end up in a relationship.
    What makes you become obsessed with them? And then bored with them? What changes that the obsession after some time turns to boredom?

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnKent View Post
    I think Im just really possesive. I can have other people but if my gf even lets guys flirt with her, I go mad. I want everything but Im not willing to let go of what I already have... Wow that sounds so inmature...

    At some point in the relationship I dont want to hurt my partner so I lie, hoping that it will go away and it will be over (the affair or crush or whatever). It always works, except it always comes back. Endless loop. Everytime I think "Thats it, never again" but who am I kidding. It wont ever stop if I dont do something drastic.
    Why aren't you willing to let go of what you already have if what you really want is someone else?

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnKent View Post
    I always thought my partner wouldn't be able to take the truth. As it turns out I was wrong, I totally underestimated women. My gf has been so amazing through all of this. She is totally broken hearted of course, and she is leaving me, naturally. But her support and understanding are so inspiring it serves as an ideal of integrity and patience to me.

    Im not addicted to sex. I can have it or not, its not a big deal. It's the thrill of the forbidden, the adventure, the sparks, the romance... That's what Im addicted to. When I'm single and I go out, I'm not thinking of sex, not even when I meet someone awesome. One thing leads to another and before I know it it just happens.

    It's like I believe myself to be a character in an Oscar Wilde novel, and Im racing against the clock, trying to live as fast as possible before it's too late and I regret not having squeezed every drop of passion in my soul
    Forfeiting forbidden, adventure, sparks, romance makes you feel like what? Achieving it makes you feel like?

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    What makes you become obsessed with them? And then bored with them? What changes that the obsession after some time turns to boredom?



    Why aren't you willing to let go of what you already have if what you really want is someone else?



    Forfeiting forbidden, adventure, sparks, romance makes you feel like what? Achieving it makes you feel like?
    I dont know why I get obssesed so easily. I always thought it was an ENFP thing, or at least a typical Ne trait. Im bored when its not a novelty anymore, when nothing is happening. My mind needs action I guess...

    Someone else is what I want short term, just some romance, passion etc, but I still want my girl at home to make me feel like the King asshole that I am.
    I know any other girl will just be meh after a few days/weeks, but my girl is always amazing. Thats my line of thought

    Achieving all that makes me feel like im in a rollercoaster, like watching a horror movie. Cant look away, love that feeling of fear, excitement. Its like im a soldier in the middle of a warzone and i need to kill as many nazis as possible before its over...
    Weird example i know...
    I dont hate women... I love them, i get obssesed by them and i want to love every single one of them, there just isnt enough time. Thats how i feel

  5. #25
    Entertaining Cracker five sounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnKent View Post
    I dont know why I get obssesed so easily. I always thought it was an ENFP thing, or at least a typical Ne trait. Im bored when its not a novelty anymore, when nothing is happening. My mind needs action I guess...

    Someone else is what I want short term, just some romance, passion etc, but I still want my girl at home to make me feel like the King asshole that I am.
    I know any other girl will just be meh after a few days/weeks, but my girl is always amazing. Thats my line of thought

    Achieving all that makes me feel like im in a rollercoaster, like watching a horror movie. Cant look away, love that feeling of fear, excitement. Its like im a soldier in the middle of a warzone and i need to kill as many nazis as possible before its over...
    Weird example i know...
    I dont hate women... I love them, i get obssesed by them and i want to love every single one of them, there just isnt enough time. Thats how i feel
    i see how being ENFP (and probably 7sx) could be lead to this pattern of living. i think if i didn't have a developed Fi, i could very much fall into similar stuff, because of the bolded specifically. idealization of 'what's out there', being overwhelmed by how many wonderful people are out there, and wanting it all. also, Ne sees the 'potential' in everything, so i can also see how it's possible to focus on 'what could be' to the point of having irrational expectations.

    without developed Fi, you'd essentially be in a permanent Ne-Te loop, which i know can be an empowering, momentum-driven mode to operate in. i've pulled off some really cool things in an Ne-Te loop, but have also done some damage in that state. when i'm reflecting afterward (see nursing my Fi), i realize the ways in which i might have 'gone too far'.

    it seems you've identified your issue, and i honestly believe you'll have more fulfilling relationships if you take what you've found and find ways to be honest about it and work on it. we've all got shit like that to deal with in one way or another. best wishes.
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

  6. #26
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnKent View Post
    I dont know why I get obssesed so easily. I always thought it was an ENFP thing, or at least a typical Ne trait. Im bored when its not a novelty anymore, when nothing is happening. My mind needs action I guess...

    Someone else is what I want short term, just some romance, passion etc, but I still want my girl at home to make me feel like the King asshole that I am.
    I know any other girl will just be meh after a few days/weeks, but my girl is always amazing. Thats my line of thought

    Achieving all that makes me feel like im in a rollercoaster, like watching a horror movie. Cant look away, love that feeling of fear, excitement. Its like im a soldier in the middle of a warzone and i need to kill as many nazis as possible before its over...
    Weird example i know...
    I dont hate women... I love them, i get obssesed by them and i want to love every single one of them, there just isnt enough time. Thats how i feel
    What would change if you didn't have an amazing gir at home to return to after your conquests? How would you feel then?

    What makes your girl amazing, different than other girls?

    What happens when your amazing girls find out you've been seeing other women? How do they feel then?

    Also do these two tests please to check your type...

    http://similarminds.com/test.html

    http://www.sociotype.com/tests/

  7. #27
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    Your Sociotype: IEI-2Fe (INFp)

    Not true tho, Im a total extrovert
    I can see where it comes from tho, I have a strong sense of right and wrong, the problem is that I just dont apply it to myself

  8. #28
    Senor Membrae Eugene Watson VIII's Avatar
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    Welcome.
    Myers-Briggs: xsFP

    Enneagram: 9?-4wX?-5/6

    ~ People don't think it be like it is, but it do. ~

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    What would change if you didn't have an amazing gir at home to return to after your conquests? How would you feel then?

    What makes your girl amazing, different than other girls?

    What happens when your amazing girls find out you've been seeing other women? How do they feel then?
    If im single and dont have a girl at home its totally fine. I love my single life, I am at my most extrovert self, socialize a lot, get busy with stuff. I dont really miss being in a relationship when im single.
    When Im in a relationship I dont really go out without her. The cheating happens when I travel or spend time by myself.

    This is the first time I had to deal with a gf finding out about the cheating. It was ugly. She was so mad at me, broken hearted and in a estate of shock. She took it surprisingly well, thats one of the things that makes her amazing. She is smart and open minded. She understands me know. We talk everyday about this shit and try to dig out issues I might have had in the past that would explain my jealousy, narcissism, cheating etc
    She hasnt forgiven me tho, and its looking like she never will

  10. #30
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnKent View Post
    If im single and dont have a girl at home its totally fine. I love my single life, I am at my most extrovert self, socialize a lot, get busy with stuff. I dont really miss being in a relationship when im single.
    When Im in a relationship I dont really go out without her. The cheating happens when I travel or spend time by myself.

    This is the first time I had to deal with a gf finding out about the cheating. It was ugly. She was so mad at me, broken hearted and in a estate of shock. She took it surprisingly well, thats one of the things that makes her amazing. She is smart and open minded. She understands me know. We talk everyday about this shit and try to dig out issues I might have had in the past that would explain my jealousy, narcissism, cheating etc
    She hasnt forgiven me tho, and its looking like she never will
    The more you become honest with yourself, hopefully the more you'll be able to be honest with others...gradually you'll be able to form long term relationships if that's your goal...you should also consider applying for psychotherapy...

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