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  1. #11
    Problem? Grand Admiral Crunch's Avatar
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    In my mind, I've been where you've been. ENFP's live out these fantasies with barely a prior thought of them. It seems effortless.

    Some people seem to have a constancy about them, like they can have a few beers a week without ever becoming an alcoholic, but I others are constantly moving, going forward and backward into things. Maybe you're on of those people. I perceive your problem as spiritual. Sin carries you away from God. The further you get away, the further you want to go, and the closer you are to him, the closer you want to be. It took me a long time to accept Jesus as my savior, lots of prayer, studying and research. It's given me a lot of answers and feels good.

    I'm sorry I'm annoying with this. I had at one time loathed people who thought the answer to every question is Jesus, but it builds what feels like an objective system of morality.

  2. #12
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eluded_One View Post
    It's human to take more than you give. We're all guilty of this in different forms.
    Perhaps. But it's not your question to answer - at least not in this thread. It's his. *He* has to figure out if this is the kind of person he wants to be. And in what way he wants to channel this desire. In what way he'll share this in the world, for that matter.

    Otoh, it might indeed not be a bad idea for him to use some of these questions to start threads and gain input from others on how they see things - it will certainly feed his Ne and give his Fi more to work with.
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  3. #13
    Senior Member Eluded_One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Perhaps. But it's not your question to answer - at least not in this thread. It's his. *He* has to figure out if this is the kind of person he wants to be. And in what way he wants to channel this desire. In what way he'll share this in the world, for that matter.

    Otoh, it might indeed not be a bad idea for him to use some of these questions to start threads and gain input from others on how they see things - it will certainly feed his Ne and give his Fi more to work with.
    I wasn't answering the question for him. But it is a response to your "why on earth" question that might escalate things further than it should.
    “If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” -anonymous

  4. #14
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eluded_One View Post
    I wasn't answering the question for him. But it is a response to your "why on earth" question that might escalate things further than it should.

    Ahh. I see. The question wasn't meant in that way. The 'on earth' was meant for effect, not as a judgement.
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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    What happened to you to destroy your trust in people? What happened to make you one-up them, and hurt them the way you have been hurt? The way you so *fear* being hurt over and over again?
    I have no idea what happened to me. When I was around 23-25 I started cheating and sleeping with a lot of women.
    Up to that point I was a firm defender of loyalty and there was no bullshit or lying.
    No big breakup or anything.
    My first gfs did cheat on me when I was a teenager but I dont hold a grudge, never did.

    How important is it to figure out where it's coming from?

  6. #16
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnKent View Post
    I have no idea what happened to me. When I was around 23-25 I started cheating and sleeping with a lot of women.
    Up to that point I was a firm defender of loyalty and there was no bullshit or lying.
    No big breakup or anything.
    My first gfs did cheat on me when I was a teenager but I dont hold a grudge, never did.

    How important is it to figure out where it's coming from?
    That is for you to decide. I find that when I want to disable an undesirable behaviour, it helps to know all the variables and history so that I truly can understand what the drive behind it is and change it. Either way, the process of asking yourself these questions should help you shed light on who it is you want to be right now and what exactly you want tot stand for, value and employ to be happy.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    What\How do you feel when you are without a relationship? and Why?

    What\how do you feel when you are in a relationship? How do you act towards your partner? Why?
    When Im single I actually feel very happy. It might be my best self, since I dont have to lie about what I do. My single life is pretty sweet.

    I love being in a happy relationship. I am lucky enough to meet wonderful women. The problem is that my feelings come and go, I meet other people and there goes my mind again, then bad things happen.

  8. #18
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnKent View Post
    When Im single I actually feel very happy. It might be my best self, since I dont have to lie about what I do. My single life is pretty sweet.
    Why do you lie about what you do?

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnKent View Post
    I love being in a happy relationship. I am lucky enough to meet wonderful women. The problem is that my feelings come and go, I meet other people and there goes my mind again, then bad things happen.
    If you are happy being on your own, why do you pursue relationships? Which phase feels happier? What happens when you meet other people in a relationship?

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Why do you lie about what you do?

    If you are happy being on your own, why do you pursue relationships? Which phase feels happier? What happens when you meet other people in a relationship?
    I lie because I love and care deeply for my partner and I dont want to hurt/disappoint/lose her.
    I never pursue relationships, but when I fall for someone I really throw myself 100%, then end up in a relationship. I'm a very passionate person and I sleep with many women when Im single so sooner or later I come across someone amazing that I want to keep for myself

    Writing these things is very therapeutic, thanks for your questions!

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    Why do you lie about what you do?



    If you are happy being on your own, why do you pursue relationships? Which phase feels happier? What happens when you meet other people in a relationship?
    I think the best moment is when I meet someone amazing. Those first weeks/months are magical.
    When I meet other people I connect with or feel attracted to, that's when my dark side comes up, and I get flirty and silly. Then before I know it Im back in a ditch, lying and cheating :O

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