Well, that is my name in some respects, my actual name is Joshua, but it doesn't hold the same meaning. What meaning is that? I am mostly determined not to share, but be assured it's a good one!
Returning to the topic of an introduction, I am an INFp with an enneagram of 9w1. I used to misidentify as a 5, because of my focus on intelligence, and need to contribute something veritably life changing to the world, but beyond goals, there was not quite the match as a 9. My sense of value is not entirely based on intellectual contribution, but contribution in general. My self critical streak as well places me much greater as a 9, and my passiveness is entirely misplaced in a 5. Still, I identify with degrees of both, like some kind of freakish hip-joined hybrid.
My own self image has always been split. Not skewed like a water painting, but divided perfectly between segments of my personality that are clearly distinct. This is, as far as I'm concerned, a product of my Bipolar Disorder. I am acutely aware of the different phases of my personality, of their effects on my perceptions, and of their triggers. Self awareness has always been of vital importance to me, as self-control has been the most illusive of my traits.
Returning to my MBTi, I am mist definitely an INFp. I would have assumed, given my disorder, tat it would fluctuate with anything as much as barometric pressure, but that has remained a constant for me (and I respect the MBTi most of all for that fact.) Even the Socionics test gives verification, placing me as an IEI-1Ni (INFp). Perhaps constant, though, is not the right word. While I am always thinking as an INFp, and believing as an INFp should, I can force myself to preform as the polar opposite: an ESTj. It was a talent I observed under stress, and mastered for asserting at least a smidgen of self-control.