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  1. #161
    Senior Member madhatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post
    ^ That's why you are my heroine.

    I do my best to avoid drama, but it tends to find me. What am I doing wrong?? What magic have you mastered that I have not? Is it my blind SO instinct? LOL. *falls to my knees*
    Aw shucks.

    I honestly don't know. I guess, maybe it's because I don't play (like Bernie Mac: "I don't play! I don't play!"). I don't play their games, I don't react to passive-aggressive remarks, I don't get into petty arguments, I have nothing to prove to anyone, and if I ever do get into a debate, I know that I can win it, because I know I'm right. So, in a way, I control the situation. If the situation starts to get out of control, I wash my hands of it, and when I say a conversation is over, it's over. Period. I've always taken the general stance that I don't have the time or the patience for such shenanigans, and for the most part, that in itself repels the drama. It's like magic.

    *madhatter sprinkles magic anti-drama dust over @Maybe*

  2. #162
    Blood of the Exile Animal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madhatter View Post
    Aw shucks.

    I honestly don't know. I guess, maybe it's because I don't play (like Bernie Mac: "I don't play! I don't play!"). I don't play their games, I don't react to passive-aggressive remarks, I don't get into petty arguments, I have nothing to prove to anyone, and if I ever do get into a debate, I know that I can win it, because I know I'm right. So, in a way, I control the situation. If the situation starts to get out of control, I wash my hands of it, and when I say a conversation is over, it's over. Period. I've always taken the general stance that I don't have the time or the patience for such shenanigans, and for the most part, that in itself repels the drama. It's like magic.

    *madhatter sprinkles magic anti-drama dust over @Maybe*
    Hahaha, amazing.

    Then I suppose the problem is: I haz two reactive types in my tritype (including core) and I haz too many feelings and I haz too much Fe.

    Because I also have nothing to prove to anyone, etc. But then this:
    I don't react to passive-aggressive remarks,
    AMAZING! I react, and then say, "WHY did I react?!!!!!!!!" And react to my reaction. :facepalm:

    Oh, and I forgot to mention - if I don't react, I walk around seething until I do.
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  3. #163
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Promethea has no power to do that last I checked, and she shouldn't be your private army. PerC is a lost cause so long as the mods in control remain ignorant of the forum's real problems. They're banning a lot of people recently but I suspect this has nothing to do with change in policy or action to make things better. I suspect the very act of making separate forums breeds xenophobia. Then again "us vs them" could be the only thing holding that shit heap together.
    That is true to a degree. Prom's aware of the stuff going on but it's like she has no real power to change the dynamic. Pitiful. I think you're right saying that I shouldn't expect her to pull off wonders, especially considering what I received now when I got home from work. I'll copy so you'll see it in full glory:
    Why don't you think of yourself as an ESI isntead of an EII? You are certainly a lot crueler and harsher then I would imagine an EII to be, in all honesty. Se polr doesn't make any fucking sense with you. I also don't think you are an INTP at all as well. You are extremely harsh, negative, and condescending whenever you are trying to change someone else's opinion on something that is conceptual.
    Please refrain from commenting in my threads in any slanderous fashion or I will report you for derailing. I did not appreciate you and your friend's barrage nor your incessant VMs and PMs; they were not only rude, but a far cry from the nonchalance you claim to input. It is clear you have some kind of bias and this is not a hard science. You offer no analysis (unlike Nominal Code) and just want to be a bitch, especially considering you just now decided to post 2 weeks later after our disagreement. You will be reported. You have been warned. Stop and post elsewhere.
    Beautiful stuff, huh? I don't bother sending stuff like that to people I dislike on the forum so what gives them the right to do that to me? The "whole living let live" and ignore obviously doesn't work for these people. Maybe I should report them back for personally attacking me, haha. Especially considering that I have not attacked them in the way they claim I have here. The first quote is just some general complaint about how I seem to post/behave on the forum and the second is in response to a post I made in a person's type me thread where I explained why I thought 4w3 made more sense than 4w5 because there was a certain attitude towards attention-seeking that I referred to as diva-ness. I also later clarified it as attention-seeking when the person responded to my post.

    In a type me thread, I see no reason why I should not point out someone person's flaws in relation to the enneagram to justify why I think a person is a certain type. I can go back and copy what I wrote for comparison:
    I utterly fail to see the core 5 personally. 469 yes, or possibly 479, but I think 4w3 is core really if 4 is core. Otherwise 6w7. A bit too much diva-ness going on there. But yes, 4w3 and 6w7, both are very strong and 9w1 last.
    That's the initial post I made. The conversation later developed into this:
    I just try to ensure people aren't logically intimidated by me (which isn't divaish at all). Please refrain from such judgement in the normal forums or be reported. Sorry the joke at the end seemed to elude you.

    4w3 really doesn't make much sense to me at all; it's more 4w5. You can ignore my posts from now on please. A strong case for 4w5, 6w5, 9w1 has already been made, no need for your bias here.
    I responded with this:

    Naw, so in other words you just don't like being described as a diva. I don't think you should take it as something bad. I am merely noting on that you have a tendency to seek attention in a way I find would be less common for a 4w5 which is overall a bit more private.
    Which in turn warranted the PM the person sent me in the second quote in this post.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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  4. #164
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    @LeaT

    jesus christ, yeah I know what you mean, lol. Idunno what to tell you. We're on a forum where that shit doesn't happen, and if it does, report them.

  5. #165
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Porsche View Post
    I LOVE IT!!!

    Made my day
    Well, I'm always glad to make someone's day.

  6. #166
    Senior Member Entropic's Avatar
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    @DJ Arendee, got to love when Fe types project Fe on you, huh? The friend referred to in one of the quotes is @FacelessBeauty because she was arguing with this person in a thread about suicide and why she thought his point of view invalidated the person who wishes to commit suicide their personal suffering. It's funny how he referred to it as a "barrage". She was never rude to him but she stated her opinion and why she thought he was wrong. The funniest thing is, I suggested this person to put me on ignore if he doesn't like to see what I write. It clearly doesn't work. He just keeps projecting back on me. So in the PM he sent me I responded with something along the lines of "You're overreacting but fine, I won't contact you anymore". You know what he does? Instead of ceasing fire he sends me ANOTHER PM with a LIST about the things he think I'm doing wrong on the forum and why I should not contact him.

    Sorry, the way he overreacts suggests enneagram 6 core to me, not 4. So I take back that typing, heh.

    And the VM I got where I'm described as being harsh, cruel and condescending to other people is so hilariously ironic since he is doing exactly the same thing to me in return by condescending me. But you know, I don't take personal offense and I'm not upset for being called cruel. I am however quite shocked over their need to contact me via PM/VM to point out why I'm such a bad person instead of doing what I suggested all along: put me on ignore. I put one of these people on ignore now so he can contact me how much he wants. I don't give two shits and why should I? It's clear that they are though. I can't even respond in a friendly manner to these people; they misinterpret what I write to fit their view of me.

    I was waiting for the day you and I would meet.

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  7. #167
    Senior Member madhatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post
    Hahaha, amazing.

    Then I suppose the problem is: I haz two reactive types in my tritype (including core) and I haz too many feelings and I haz too much Fe.

    Because I also have nothing to prove to anyone, etc. But then this:

    AMAZING! I react, and then say, "WHY did I react?!!!!!!!!" And react to my reaction. :facepalm:

    Oh, and I forgot to mention - if I don't react, I walk around seething until I do.
    Step away from the computer screen!!! Don't feed the trolls!

  8. #168
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    ok but what does those even mean?
    I copy-pasted it from someone's post:

    Super ego types - 1, 2, and 6 each seem to have a sense of what is "right" and what is "wrong". They each have sort of an ideal that they try to reach and maintain. They have a focus on morals and rules.
    Ego types - 4, 5, and 9 are all focused on themselves and how they relate to the world. They also seem to be more withdrawn and in their own heads. They have more of an identity focus.
    Id types - 3, 7, and 8 are all driven types. They know what they want and they're determined to get it. They have more of a pleasure and goal focus.
    Quote Originally Posted by flatlander View Post
    The forum is easily one of the most community-like I've ever seen, with clear social dynamics, advocacy groups and movements. People form cliques very readily, and there is not only drama, but drama that reaches to a personal level, which a few people thrive on and prefer to perpetuate.

    There were some good connections I made on the site, but it had been taking up too much of my time for awhile. I just need some room to breathe. Maybe I'll be back after I don't feel like part of it anymore.
    Yeah, you should take a rest. PerC can be really stressful if you are too involved in it. When I retired, I had no plans of coming back, but there are some good members there who want me back. Even if I did come back, I think I wouldn't be as enthusiastic as before to post.

    Quote Originally Posted by LeaT View Post
    I agree, the drama is too much. I haven't personally retired though but I don't see much of the point being active on the site either more than staving off boredom. Unless some of the social dynamics will change especially with regards to the enneagram subforum I think my activity there will drastically diminish, at least. It's just not enjoyable to be there and I already retired once because being on PersC is actually stressful, and I've never been on a forum that's feeling like it's stressful before.

    @Porsche I'm mostly still there because I some of the people were very mean to Maybe and I seek revenge, hah. They were mean to me too but I don't give as many fucks about that. I'm over with that already. Hurting my friends is a different story though.
    Seek revenge huh? LOL.

    As what I've said to flatlander, PerC can be really stressful.

    Quote Originally Posted by madhatter View Post
    I've mostly avoided the stress and clique-ish behavior of PerC, merely for the fact that I avoided the drama like a plague. I'm still over there, because there is an active discourse on enneagram that is interesting to me. But there have been no good threads lately, and I've been getting bored.

    Anyway, @Porsche, welcome. I'm fairly inactive here, but I pop in from time to time, so maybe I'll see you around. (I won't ask you to say you were at PerC, but I'm extremely curious. )
    Hello. Thanks for the welcome.

    Haha, stress again. Speaking of the drama, I avoid it because there's no point in being in it. It's not productive. You'd only be left with negative emotions and such.

    I enjoy reading your few stickied threads there really. Especially on enneagram. I recall you were also active on Game Forum?

    Quote Originally Posted by LeaT View Post
    @DJ Arendee, got to love when Fe types project Fe on you, huh? The friend referred to in one of the quotes is @FacelessBeauty because she was arguing with this person in a thread about suicide and why she thought his point of view invalidated the person who wishes to commit suicide their personal suffering. It's funny how he referred to it as a "barrage". She was never rude to him but she stated her opinion and why she thought he was wrong. The funniest thing is, I suggested this person to put me on ignore if he doesn't like to see what I write. It clearly doesn't work. He just keeps projecting back on me. So in the PM he sent me I responded with something along the lines of "You're overreacting but fine, I won't contact you anymore". You know what he does? Instead of ceasing fire he sends me ANOTHER PM with a LIST about the things he think I'm doing wrong on the forum and why I should not contact him.

    Sorry, the way he overreacts suggests enneagram 6 core to me, not 4. So I take back that typing, heh.

    And the VM I got where I'm described as being harsh, cruel and condescending to other people is so hilariously ironic since he is doing exactly the same thing to me in return by condescending me. But you know, I don't take personal offense and I'm not upset for being called cruel. I am however quite shocked over their need to contact me via PM/VM to point out why I'm such a bad person instead of doing what I suggested all along: put me on ignore. I put one of these people on ignore now so he can contact me how much he wants. I don't give two shits and why should I? It's clear that they are though. I can't even respond in a friendly manner to these people; they misinterpret what I write to fit their view of me.
    Looks like I know who that guy is

    I read your VM. By the way, I've seen lots of people getting personal to the point of sending harsh VMs and PMs. It's so dirty! That's why I don't want to get involved in PerC that much. When I was only beginning to understand Enneagram then, I made a thread. And really, some people are just plain rude. Then, I realized what kind of people PerC has, especially people who are active at Enneagram forum. And since then, I was cautious about making threads and posts, and I just trust my journey through research and introspection. I didn't answer type me threads in Enneagram, because I heard, many people are fighting over Enneagram Type me threads.

  9. #169
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madhatter View Post
    Step away from the computer screen!!! Don't feed the trolls!
    Wait, you're still around? I thought you left with the rest of the perc crew last year?

  10. #170
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post

    @Porsche I had issues along these lines: people finding out who I was PM'ing and talking to in private, reporting my actions to other people I was friends with. Checking my posts, nitpicking each thing, reporting what's "wrong with my posts" to people I knew, or getting other people to gang up on me. Even after I left the forum, I'm still hearing about rumors being spread to people I know about who I'm still talking to and what I'm doing off forum, or what my enneagram type really is. I'm not fishing for drama, or trying to find out about this crap, but reports just keep coming to me; for instance, friends asking me, "Did you talk to X about Y?" Or telling me things they heard about me. I just wanted to move on, but apparently I've left some kind of major legacy worth talking about? [smirk]

    I'm flattered, but seriously, it would behoove people to GET.A.LIFE.
    That's gross. People are getting personal on PerC these days. I hate the ganging up tactics. And especially the counter-thanking which is obviously another form of ganging up to some member they disapprove.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post
    This is so true. I was mistyped at 3 for a short time and it was *so great* - nobody bothered me and hounded me about my type!! I was able to figure out that I was mistyped *on my own* - imagine that - real self-discovery??? I did ask a lot of other 3's questions, as well as 8s (as it was in the back of my mind that I might be an 8 all along, but I had trouble accepting it) .. but nobody pushed me to change my type until I was typed at 8. What the hell!
    Yeah, I remember you typed yourself as 3. I thought you got your core then. I was gonna make a reply, but you changed your type to 8, so...

    Quote Originally Posted by Maybe View Post
    If you want to see some of it, a big portion of it happened on the Witch Hunt thread. You can PM me if you want, and I'll tell you what went down. Also, you can tell me who you are if you'd like to =)


    Good question. =)

    I have a few theories on this, and one is projection. My enneagram journey was complex - I mistyped first at 5 and then at 3. When I was mistyped at 5, I was starting to see the 8 in myself but I was retreating into major denial mode. People on the forum kept pointing out 8ish behaviors and I was hiding from it. I sort of "stuck to the 5 label" and on a few occasions, exploded at other 5s who I thought were mistypes. I'm not proud of this and afterwards I apologized to all of them, once I realized what I'd done. It was a matter of projection. I knew deep down that I was mistyped, and I wasn't ready to face my type, so I took it out on other people. =(

    As sad as I am that I did this, I will say that I never once picked on them on a personal level or insulted them. I was simply insensitive to their personal journey; I didn't understand the enneagram journey in full, and took my problems out on them without realizing it. And in a way I'm glad I went through this because it shed a lot of light on why other people might do it to each other. I spent some time on the forum explaining what I had done and trying to alert others to this possibility, so they could be more compassionate towards possible mistypes.

    Everyone projects. Not even the most logical, objective ENTJ 1 or INTJ 5 is able to escape projection. It is human nature. But on that forum, too many people ganged up together and indulged these tendencies. Part of this is because it's a popularity contest over there, and picking out mistyped 8s or 5s seems to earn them social points and followers and friends?

    So far I feel on this forum, people are more independent, which makes them more likely to keep each other in check.
    Yeah I saw that thread. I thought it was meant for fun at first, then it got really personal and heated. PerC can be really dirty IMO.

    I also typed first as 5, then 1, then 3. I got some strong connection to 3 and thought I was one. But some member pointed me that I'm a 9. I researched everything about it and how it differs to every Enneagram type then poof! All things aligned.

    When you get core type, I doubt if you will be proud of it despite the positive traits. Does the vulnerabilities and sensitivities of Type 8 strike you? When I read Naranjo's, it all made sense, and I understood the core deep down to its roots, how a certain enneatype developed.

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