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  1. #1
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    Default hello all

    esfj with no real friends. and socially awkward due to not being around anyone. i still think i'm an esfj, definitely relate to si very much, but my Fe could come from some enneagram influences or something. There's a hole in understanding because of a lack of systematic study, and inclusion of enneagram. This has been mostly entertainment for me, so.

    Hello

    To start with, is preoccupation with what others think and viewing oneself through others and standards Fe(I thought so) or does it come from some part of enneagram like so? Could be an own thread, maybe will be, but I'll put it in here as it may introduce my level of understanding or something. I also like to learn through interaction, even in Internet it's more energetic that way. This is typing is not so much related to Keirsey, by the way, but the function descriptions by Jung and some other guys.

    I'm probably So/sx instinctual variant, but not sure. Enneatype is not 8,5,1,3,probably not 2.

    I like Ramones, Captain Beefheart, Melvins, Stooges, Muslimgauze. I also like identity things, like probably many more here. It's the reason I'm on the internet, really. I have wanted to avoid internet histrionics, but here I go again...I try not to care about that, I can never discover anything with that kind of pessimistic attitude.

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    Do you think it's possible that you're an ISFJ since you identify with Si so much? And also because you are an so/sx in enneagram?

    But it's possible for an ESFJ to have social anxiety, I'm not saying it's not possible; my ESFJ ex suffered from social anxiety, but he was definitely more extroverted than me and was Fe before Si. He always had friends, though, even if it wasn't the groups of people that most associate with ESFJs.

    He was very preoccupied with how popular he had been in his early teens, and how he felt his acne in his mid-teens interfered with it; he also maintained intensely close Fe ties of loyalty with a couple of childhood friends and his family that he could not be shaken from. He referred to women who had crushes on him whom he didn't like as "fans" and had no problem socializing on at least a shallow level whenever he started a new job; they weren't real friends though, he was VERY clear on who his real friends were (me, his mom, his childhood buddies, his gay friend) but had great Fe skills. He also made a ton of Fe judgment calls constantly, and knew how to socially dominate a room or small group of people. We either got along really well, or wanted to choke each other (but that had a lot to do with health levels, not necessarily him being ESFJ) and one of my pet peeves of him is if he wanted to keep TALKING AT ME when I felt more introverted.

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    Welcome, btw. No one here can tell you what type you are without knowing you really well, but hopefully you'll get info and examples that will point you in the right direction.

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    I have some problems with the extrovert definitions and the functions. Would a Te-dominant necessarily roll well with what is perceived as extraversion usually? I mean you could apply Te-type thinking to people, but I think strategy games or something like that would be way more energizing to them than dealing with emotions etc. I think there's lots of stereotypes there and they don't match with the functions completely or even what MBTI is about. I think I've even accidnetally shied away from ISFJ because they're supposed to be real quiet and so on.
    I'm very preoccupied with how I am perceived, I can't even think of myself apart from that but that might just be So.
    Thank you for welcomes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocket View Post
    I have some problems with the extrovert definitions and the functions. Would a Te-dominant necessarily roll well with what is perceived as extraversion usually? I mean you could apply Te-type thinking to people, but I think strategy games or something like that would be way more energizing to them than dealing with emotions etc. I think there's lots of stereotypes there and they don't match with the functions completely or even what MBTI is about. I think I've even accidnetally shied away from ISFJ because they're supposed to be real quiet and so on.
    I'm very preoccupied with how I am perceived, I can't even think of myself apart from that but that might just be So.
    Thank you for welcomes.
    You're welcome.

    I hate to ask inane questions like "are you a nurturer to those whom you love?" because I think that applies to ESFJ and ISFJ equally; plus an SFJ who had no one to directly care for (in terms of the immediate, tangible nurturing) would be frustrated, they would be less likely to identify with being nurturing; I always think of Ted Bundy as an extreme and awful example of this, basically an insane xSFJ, but even he...like in college he was known for being charming and warm; none of his victims were women he knew ...he saw his girlfriends, family members, friends, and co-workers etc. as real people he only killed strangers; he even worked to "save" people by working on a suicide hotline in college, so I guess that was a nurturing outlet for a man who had never known love and didn't know how to form relationships.

    NOT SAYING YOU'RE UNHEALTHY...I'm just saying that an xSFJ with no one to immediately nurture may not identify immediately with the nurturer stereotypes.

    Fe types, yes, are much more socially oriented in their extroversion. The Te type might be more dominating of their physical environment and exert their influence without being especially focused on social interaction in the manner of an Fe type.

    Does the description of the Fe type in Jung really resonate with you?

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    It's just a harmony thing. I only have normal social skills but I generally try to be nice and inoffensive. Trying to be nice is not an Fi thing I guess. But maybe it actually doesn't have anything to do with Fe, now that I think of it. Fi just seems too fierce and to me, even just the function descriptions, and I'm for sure an F. I also have Ti over Te, definite Si over Se, definite Ne over Ni(except that I use Ni in visual things and physics and such, I'm verbal). I use Ti to self-deprecation, so it seems to be my last function Some people however do not seem to dig these stress theories and considering the other functions than the primary and I've gone there too because it's simpler and it still gets you somewhere.

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    Welcome to the forum!
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Welcome to the forum!
    Thanks

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    You might want to check out the Why are there no ESFJs on Typology Central? thread.

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    pretty bad answers in my opinion . the attitude provides a clue to the answer, unless it's a kind of irony on that attitude which surpasses my sensor metaphorically crippled brains. that was a mistake, in case you doubted.
    really it's just humour, but I don't know why. I feel that there's many N mistypes, but I can't exactly point out the reason why. Introversion is often confused with poor social skills/standing, intuition is maybe confused with weirdness or being different, which many people also want to be because of their inability to fit in which they really want or something. Or they're just strange and want to explain it with that they are disconnected from reality-->intuition or something like that.
    This could be seen as a bad answer too.

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