Hello all. I am an INTP, to the extent I can say I am. For a while I've been hovering between INTJ and INTP, often curious about where I've stood. I've also, to be honest, considered INFJ as a couple people had expressed that I was "in-tune with the emotions of others." I am now inclined, due to my the past experience of my growth, to come to terms with the fact that I was more in-tune with the emotional disharmony that occured.
I understand the cognitive functions, yet INTJ and INTP have collided. It wasn't until I thoroughly analyzed everything that I believed I was INTP. I had never clicked with the INTJ group on other fora, and during my research I stumbled upon a masterpiece of an INTP profile: http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html
The fact that I often detatch from my environment, often oblivious to the things around me. The fact that I am reluctant to move things around, and when I do I toss it somewhere else, and that I can miss things that you would have to be blind to miss. The fact that I also take comfort in music that I grew up with as a child, and that I still have childhood artefacts that I refuse to toss because of the memories and emotions they bring to mind, and the loss I would feel.
I also love to take things out of context, throw in curveballs, and link things together in a humorous way. My friend is often left dumbfounded at my humor. Others have also expressed difficulty in understanding it, and have classified me as "weird". I can take things and twist it in the craziest way; I am often better at it through text though.
I then realized exactly why I had often confused myself as an INTJ: In the past two years I had been jumping between my INTP functions as I sought to self-develop (a friend of mine is an ENTJ) and my shadow functions (that of an ENTJ), yet as I am an introvert I had confused myself as an INTJ. But I have never been a real leader, and have prefered to remain as a helper, in the background, often making great strides and bounds with my ENTJ friend (he shares a similar mindset).
Looking at my past history, I have always been an INTP. What other type would systematically refuse to seek help for depression, and instead begin to methodically analyze it; make observations and hypothesis about it, and write a journal and a couple very lengthy reports on it? Who else would attempt to find some "greater truth" in the matrix of disharmony, confusion, irrationality, and chaos? Who else would go that far to understand the mind, and its complex structure?
I think the most eye-opening part of that profile was the Fe description; I've always hated emotions. I despise my emotions, and have always sought to repress them at every opportunity. I classify emotions as "Unreliable, Illogical, and Irrational". I fear my emotions as much as I hate them. I fear relationships because of my powerful beliefs, and I have almost come to physical bouts with individuals as I dispassionately and relentlessly press forward in my arguments. If I had a choice, I would stay in my room, with my computer, and ignore life outside as I explore all that the internet has to offer. After all, knowledge and understanding is everything.
There is one thing about being an INTP I hate: The awkwardness of emotions. If I had a choice, I would dump Fe for all that it is worth. It often chooses to surface and wreck raw havoc, often causing my Ti to either back off, or fight it. I also hate the fact that life depresses me; this seems to be a Ti attribute. To me, Fe is the enemy. I also fear one day that I may go down the wrong intellectual path, or analyze to a point, that I may cause my own self-destruction (I've had this fear for years). I wonder how many other INTPs share these attributes.
I believe I rambled on for a little while; two glasses of wine often seem to reinforce my Ti at times; it can help drown out my Fe. Looking forward to exchanging text.