I've only just found out about personality typing and all this, so with the typical enthusiasm of a neophyte I've decided to join this forum and learn all about it. So, hello.
But I need to clear something up... and perhaps this approach, in medias res, as it were, will allow you and me to, uhm, know me better...
I've been taking a fair amount of tests, so many, indeed, that I am sick and tired of them and never want to see one of those little circular option buttons again. Almost every time I come up with ENTP, ENTP, ENTP, ENTP, and yet, when I read breakdowns of the results, I often see readouts like this:
Extroverted (E) 84.38% Introverted (I) 15.63%
Intuitive (N) 74.29% Sensing (S) 25.71%
Thinking (T) 51.43% Feeling (F) 48.57%
Perceiving (P) 67.5% Judging (J) 32.5%
As is plain to see, I am most easily slotted into the EI*P category, and I pretty much figured as much even before taking the test. However, the thinking/feeling categories are really quite confusing for me, insofar as I don't know which one is really 'me'.
So, as an aid to those inveighing on my particular case, I'll give a short (I promise!) description of myself:
I read voraciously, springing from topic to topic, getting fascinated with one philosopher or thinker and then finding that he's old hat and figuring out that everything in the world is really about this. But then I get wise to my own caprice and realize that what I'm really looking for is a methodology, a school, a single all-encompassing thought-algorithm... but there is none. I'm highly self-critical and self-aware.
I'm very dispassionate when I evaluate other people, meaning that I can usually ascertain 'how'/'what' they're feeling but I find myself getting quickly bored by their troubles. And yet, I can put up such a good show of empathy, that I almost feel that I'm genuinely empathizing. As such, I was always a bit of a show-stopper in high-school, not always in a good way.
Big thing: I'm a chronic drinker and drugger. I am quite fond of getting blitzed, particularly with synthetic drugs, and then running out into the world in a strange haze of dissociative ecstasy, engaging with everyone and everything. I have been called a snake-tongued Buddha figure with a massive God-complex (rather contradictory since the Buddha was mute on the God question, if not dismissive of it entirely). The problem with my drug use and attempts to understand who I am was brought up by my psychiatrist, who asserted that any diagnosis of bipolar disorder would be premature if I couldn't remain sober for more than six months. I feel this might be a problem when it comes to typing me ENTP or ENFP. But since I've been sober for several weeks, I find that I am comfortable alone, for all of two weeks, then crave company. I appreciate and strive for good deductive thinking, but am not quite as inductive in my cogitations as I'd like to be. Generally, I find that the EN*P stays the same whether or not I'm sober, but that I'm more F when I'm high and more T when I'm sober. I guess that's why I've listed myself as ENTP, but still...
I'm desperate to be a writer... I love big ideas and yet can get quite caught up in the details of a particularly refined argument, whether it be in the sciences or the liberal arts. But when it comes to hammering out the details of my own pet projects, I get easily frustrated. I often wish that I could be the kind of person who got swept up in his own fancy, blacked out, and woke up with my plans realized. It doesn't happen, obviously, and I guess my teenage delusions about being a genius were dashed, since 'genius is in the details', or so 'they' say.
I still think I lean towards ENTP'ness more than ENFP'ness, but that's a strained inclination... while I am very emotional and often histrionic, I have no patience whatsoever with ill-formed arguments and am very quick to pounce on people who don't connect their premises with their conclusions, or make fallacies, or assume axioms which to me are untenable.
More so than a lot of ENTP's I'm sure, I'm very attracted to temples and spiritual writers, and yet I feel like an interloper when I'm sitting in a church, an atheist praying to God. I'm sort of a solipsist, thinking I can think and feel my way to a personal God that's so empty as to accommodate the whole cosmos without possessing any intelligence or personality.
And I tend to ramble. But I've always been good at math, argument, etc. I was a pretty good musician (classical violin), but felt too hemmed in by the six-hour practice sessions which began dominating my life.
Oh.... I know... I completely violated, ripped apart, spat on the memory of that promise to be succinct... but I'll finish this off with one last reminiscence...
I went absolutely CRAZY, embittered, confused, when I went out with an ISTJ (TOTAL ISTJ, absolute ISTJ) in high school. I found myself lecturing her, telling her she was too introverted, unable to communicate effectively. I questioned her commitment and yet found myself bending over backwards to make her happy. My relationship with her (long since dead... the relationship, that is) often leaves me believing I'm an ENFP.
Okay... Jesus, that was too much. I'm sorry... I guess I'm expected to apologize for my rambling but that's just the way it is. Perhaps this overdone pastiche will be good for the analysts out there, if any should choose to do me the great favor of analyzing me, or giving me pointers.
Lastly, anyone have some suggestions on literature? I'd like a more organized introduction to typing, which on the internet devolves into a hodge-podge of symbols, brief expositions and too many charts for someone who prefers paintings.
if you've actually read all this, you probably have a greater attention span (and altruistic character) than I do, so congrats and thanks all at once... as you know, it's easier to spill out garbage than to clean it up, or in other words, to chatter about everything than listen to someone else for too long... at least it is for me...
Samuel De Mazarin
P.S. That's not my real name. I wish it were.