Hello! I chanced on an Enneagram Test two days ago and have been slightly obsessed with taking MBTI and Socionic tests online.
I am a type two(Enneagram), an ENFJ(MBTI), and an ENFj(socionic). It never came up in my tests, but I always felt like type 9 (peacemaker) was the second closest description of me. The description talked about passive-aggressive displays of hurt, something that I admittedly do. (Drag my feet or look down trodden to try to get other people to notice that I am hurt. Haha a bit manipulative I suppose.)
Anyway, I do like affirmation. (It is part of the reason I am posting this, and I hope I get responses honestly.) When I read (http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ENFJ_rel.html) this article I got shivers down my spine. I felt it described me PERFECTLY. I read it a few times and many others like it. The funny thing is that some of the things that they described were things that I have said in trying to explain myself to my girlfriend.
Random Facts about me:
-I want everyone to like me. (Even if I don't like the other person.)
-When I feel that I have committed a social error, it will haunt me and make sleep difficult.
-I am a conformist.
-I have always been very sensitive. My girlfriend telling me that I was being annoying/obnoxious completely devastates me. (I try not to show it.)
-I try not to smother. I really do try.
-It is hard to understand people's problems with Public Displays of Affection. (PDA) I think I can make my girlfriend uncomfortable by being to loving in front of her friends.
-I will drop anything to help/be with my girlfriend. She is the most important thing in my life. I would do ANYTHING.
-I love to think of actions/things/ways that will make other people happy.
-I love kids.
-I think I am probably hypocritical, but my attentions are always good!
-I think that happiness is the ultimate goal in life and that I can be happiest by making the people I love happy. I also consider sadness a mistake. I try to use my logic to understand that sadness is not helping anyone. (Then again, I do get depressed when I feel unloved, and pity is a guilty pleasure of mine.)
-The most important factor for enjoying sex is that my girlfriend enjoys it too.
- I do not care much about organization, but I do plan ahead. (Mainly conversations and activities. I think that I get a little sad if an interaction I have planned does not go as well as hoped.)
I could go on, but I do not want to induce boredom. I would like to ask a few questions however.
I told my girlfriend that I loved her. A few months later she told me that she loved me too. I inquired once in these three months about why she had not said it. (I thought, based on some of her actions, that she did love me.) Anyway, she just told me that "love" was a difficult thing for her and she was not going to say anything she did not really mean. Obviously, when she did finally say it, it was one of the happiest days that I can remember. The problem is that she does not say "I love you." on even a weekly basis. I know that she does, but it is so hard not to hear it more often. My brain keeps telling me that she probably doesn't love me anymore. (Especially after any conflict.) I know, I am crazy!!! I try to repress these feelings, but it is honestly hard. For affirmation's sake, what do ya'll think about this? Is what I am feeling normal?
My last question is rather similar. First, some back story: My girlfriend likes doing weird/funky things. (For example, she made an art car.) I endeavor to find weird/funky things for us to do on dates. We have gone to a grape stomp festival, beekeeping lessons, bat festival, improv theaters, and a lot of other cool things. I enjoy all of these, but I also would like to do more of the cliche romantic nights. For example, I have always wanted to go to the movies with her, bur she has flat out refused to ever go to the movies. (Not just me, but literally she said that she would never go to the movies with anyone or by herself again.) I had to accept this. (I was not really hurt.) However, recently I took her to the rodeo on a Saturday. On the way to the rodeo, I asked her how her Friday night went, and she told me that she hung out with some of her friends and went to go see the Hunger Games. (SHE WENT TO THE *%$&*^$ MOVIES!) I was immediately distraught. I felt insanely depressed, but I also did not want to ruin the date. We had a good time at the rodeo, and I did not mention the movie thing once. I was hoping that she could understand that her actions had hurt me without me saying anything. I think a simple, "I am sorry." would have gone a long way. BUT NOTHING! I waited a week, and the next time we were talking I brought it up. I started of by apologizing and saying that I did not want her to feel bad but... her going to the movies and not showing the slightest amount of remorse sucked. It sucked a lot. I did not express anger, just simply stated that it had hurt me. My feelings on the whole situation are very mixed. If you have any insight please give it!