Like I said, INFP here. Until recently I have been battling with myself in an attempt to discover why I am different than everyone else. Why I seem so much more paranoid, why I care so much about what people thing (criticism). I never understood why I didn't care as much about having high dollar clothes, or why having a boyfriend/dating "the" guy wasn't one of my goals in highschool. I never thought about playing sports, never crossed my mind to suck up to the teacher, do drugs, drink or even attempt to make friends. I did what I needed to do on a daily basis, and kept to myself. It didn't hit me until after I graduated and completed a couple years of college that I was internally different, not physically. Before, I thought all of my shyness was due to me being overweight, so in 2 years I lost 75 pounds and gained a new level of confidence.
This confidence did me very little good when I still didn't understand who I was inside. I lost all of that weight to "look" like society, hoping that the charm, the charisma and the social dominance would naturally come with it. Sadly, I was mistaken.
After realizing that it was my personality to be introverted, to keep to myself, to think and react on intuition, to jump to conclusions, to "profile" people, to overanalyze and over criticize, I fell down a deep slope of depression.
I thought there was no point to life, if I was going to be so uncomfortable in public situations, if I was going to make small criticisms into huge cluterfucks of drama and most importantly, if I wasn't going to be able to make AND KEEP any friends...
In this time I also lost my job as somewhat of a Personal Assistant due to my depression and sudden lack of ability to mask my emotional distress at work.
Sooo, I am unemployed, at home and trying to figure out why the hell I can't fit it.
So I open up Google and start searching.
Eventually I found and completed a couple tests to see what personality type I was and what my "ego" is, I quickly realized that the world is full of people like me, and I indeed have a gift. A gift of intuition. A gift to plan, prepare, examine and blend in.
But now, my biggest problem is triggering one of my biggest stress factors/fears.
WHERE DO I WORK?
and that is how I ended up here. I did a little more searching, found this place, and now I am on the hunt to find more people like me and see what they ended up doing.
Maybe it'll settle my restlessness tonight.
Nice to meet you.