User Tag List

Results 1 to 8 of 8

  1. #1
    Member cranez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Socionics
    ENFj
    Posts
    60

    Default An ENFJ that can't figure out other ENFJs.

    Hey all,

    New to this forum. I am very much interested in MBTI / C JUNG typology. I mostly use it for the purpose of self-identification as well as identifying traits in family, friends and potential friends.

    I'm curious if anyone has any experience with ENFJ / ENFJ types as friends?

  2. #2
    011235813
    Guest

    Default

    First of all, welcome to the forums!

    And secondly, what is it about your fellow ENFJs that befuddles you?

  3. #3
    Member cranez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Socionics
    ENFj
    Posts
    60

    Default

    Hi Senza,

    Thank you for the welcome. Glad to be here!

    Well, it's kind of confusing. I've recently started a new friendship with an ENFJ man. I'm an ENFJ woman. This friendship was initiated by him...truth be told we were acquainted by a mutual friend and he started interacting with me more aggressively e-mail, text, etc over the last week or so. Inviting me to everything he's been doing practically.

    Yesterday, we spent an entire day together. We made plans to get a group of friends together to go see a movie. He and I had little interaction during the movie but after we kind of split off on our own and our friends went about whatever they were doing for the day and we decided to go to a Farmer's Market. He kept asking me what I liked, kept asking for my opinion on what he should buy. We ended the day, sitting on the dock drinking a beer and talking about life. We instantly connected.

    I'm not hoping for anything more than friendship (at least not right now because I'm technically in a failing relationship with an INTP - the ENFJ is aware) but something tells me...this ENFJ might be looking for more. I know that I can be a notorious flirt especially when my partner isn't satisfying my need for communication, affection, etc. But I also don't want to give the wrong idea.

    Hope that made sense. Cheers.

  4. #4
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    ENFj
    Posts
    2,900

    Default

    Welcome fellow ENFJ
    I have a small handful of experiences, and there are tons of threads that you should search and read into (specifically in NF Idyllic). Share the questions/observations and we'll see what resonates.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  5. #5
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Socionics
    ENFj
    Posts
    2,900

    Default

    - I've noticed that the ENFJ/ENFJ mindmeld can be an amazing thing. However, crossing beyond it can feel like type-incest. Talk it out with said ENFJ manfriend. Over the past few months, I had the same experience. I think both mine and myself have a slight thing for one another due to the mindmeld, but it's not a boundary I'd like to cross. It's just a lot of comfort in the fact that someone actually gets it and knows exactly what I'm saying.
    Beyond that, yea we are aggressive flirts inherently. When we find another one of our kind, I think it just gets extremely amplified and there's an "insta-love" feeling. My newly-acquired ENFJ manfriend has a place in my head and heart that people don't readily obtain, but it's only on that extreme depth of friendship level.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  6. #6
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    I have a male ENFJ friend as well, and he can be a handful! *laughs* I think what *may* help here is to determine what enneagram type this other ENFJ is (as well as yourself) to better understand your dynamic with him. In my case, I'm a 4w3 and I believe Taco is a 3w4, so we have an interesting interplay.

    I have had to work on my ability to suss out other ENFJs. I can pick out most any other type, but my own? Not sure why I can't always spot them. Too close to the subject to objective, perhaps. Around ENFJs, I appear INFJ. Around INFJs, I appear ENFJ. *mighty shrug*

    Sorry about your failing relationship. That's never easy and I hope it ends amicably.

    Welcome to the board
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    MBTI
    INtP
    Posts
    19

    Default

    I have had ENFJ BFFs for a while then it all blows up. I dunno why? Always in my business telling me what to do. Is this what you cannot figure out because it has brough t me so much grief.

  8. #8
    Member cranez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Socionics
    ENFj
    Posts
    60

    Default

    Thank you all for the warm welcome and input! It's greatly appreciated.

    @Unkindloving: The friendship is still too fresh for me to try and talk to him about it. He also got out of a 5 year relationship / engagement to his ex 5 months ago. Apparently she was very similar to my current partner and we are both discussing issues we had had with them.

    I understand the mindweld. All too well. I have another friend who is a ENFJ, a man, but we made it very clear from the get go that we were friends. We love each other like brother and sister. I was never attracted to him either though - and this other ENFJ is very attractive to me.

    @Domino: I'm not sure how the Enneagram test works but my highest scores were Type 2 & 6. I'd be curious what his is too, too chicken shit right now to ask him because I don't want to be overbearing in his face "I wanna know everything about you" like. As I said with Unkindloving, the friendship is too fresh to start getting into that in my honest opinion. IDK if it would creep him out that I'm handing him all these typology tests. Heh.

    @ 404 Not Found: Sorry to hear about that. I tend to be rational, don't know your friend's situation or yours to be able to give any feedback on that.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-17-2010, 05:24 PM
  2. Can't figure out my type
    By TheZEDMan in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-29-2010, 12:13 PM
  3. Can't figure out if I'm a 6 or a 4
    By SilkRoad in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 03-20-2010, 09:17 PM
  4. I can't figure out my mom at all
    By brainheart in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 10-14-2009, 10:56 AM
  5. [NT] Can't figure out what I am. :P INTP/ENTP hybrid.
    By Fluffywolf in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 04-01-2009, 03:01 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO