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  1. #1
    Junior Member axa's Avatar
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    Default yet another confused INT J/P borderline case here, i think ...

    Hi,

    Not really sure where to start here, but please bear with me ...

    Who am I? -
    • British mid-30s guy with wife and 1 kid, 2 dogs
    • Software engineer (computer programmer)
    • Total bookworm consuming sci-fi/fantasy genre books in vast quantities. Dry/sarcastic sense of humour
    • Uncomfortable in social situations, would prefer to hide away isolated with a good book than deal with other people.
    • Superficially calm and easy-going in many situations, but in reality that is a mask hiding often confused and volatile emotions and feelings held rigidly suppressed. Occasionally the emotional bottle bursts which can be unfair on others.
    • Given to periods of feeling "down" and unsure of how to deal with the world, but such periods are very private and not generally shared face-to-face with others.
    • Tendency to withdraw and distance myself from uncomfortable situations, "head-in-the-sand" style
    • Need lots of isolated "quiet time" when i can be left undisturbed and pursue own activities (generally reading or computer-related activities)
    • Very uncomfortable around "silliness" and finding myself being intolerant of such activities even though i try hard to not get into that state. This is a major reason i am here, as this trait is causing issues with how i deal with my 8 year-old son, who is very active and energetic, and very prone to triggering this negative trait in me.
    • Have an instinctual "3-strikes-and-out" approach to setting out household situations, which again causes unwanted and unintended conflicts in relation to my family. Try hard to suppress this, but not very successful.
    • Hate exposing depths of feelings/thoughts - such as in this post, but I know i need to come to terms with such things, and try and deal with the more negative aspects... so i am really forcing myself to keep going here. Not easy.
    • Probably some other aspects that i cannot yet articulate to myself, let alone others...


    Why am I here?
    • As seen above, I have come to recognise that i have issues that i need to explore, but i have no idea where to start.
    • I know i am falling into the pattern of the "stern father" more and more as time goes by, and i do not want to be that way. I love my family, but i find myself unable to relate to them in the ways i would like.
    • Struggling to not just go and hide away from this uncharacteristic openness about my internal self... fear of rejection/mockery is strong and historically has lead me to totally avoid any form of openness on these subjects.


    What am i hoping for here? ...
    I don't know really... For the first time in my life i have reached a state where i have just enough courage to openly address these aspects of myself, but that state is a fragile thing. I am hoping to find some element of shared experiences and understanding among others that have found a way to explore themselves, despite their natural instincts to hide it all away somewhere deep. Help me to help myself if possible...

    INTJ, INTP, or something else?
    I am very new to this (2 days research), but from what i have been able to read so far, i find myself identifying with INTJ and INTP. I feel i may be borderline between the two, but again i don't feel my self well enough informed about the topic to make a strong assertion about which is more likely.

    Perhaps someone with more experience in anaysing these things can help me understand this.

    In addition i had a quick go at the enneagram test from a link on this site, and ended up with 5w6, which seems to also fit with the INTJ/INTP profiles from what i can see...


    So, there you go, this is me in an unusually raw and open state ... is there any hope for me?, or am i destined to become just another misunderstood cranky anti-social misfit?

  2. #2
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    Welcome, the Internet seems full of anti-social misfits XD

  3. #3
    Superwoman Red Herring's Avatar
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    Welcome! I have a suspicion but need more data first.

    A good way of telling apart INTP and INTJ is by looking at cognitive functions...have you tried this ?
    The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. Neither love without knowledge, nor knowledge without love can produce a good life. - Bertrand Russell
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  4. #4
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Welcome!

    Another vote for taking a deeper look into cognitive functions, instead of relying on the dichotomies or descriptions of each MBTI type. Once you've ascertained which type you are, it might help to type your child in your mind (he's too young to be labeled and compartmentalised so don't let him know or have him take any tests). In knowing both your types and understanding them, it might help your daily interactions.

    As a wild guess about your type, based on the structure and clarity of your opening post, INTJ.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by axa View Post
    Hi,

    Not really sure where to start here, but please bear with me ...
    I agree, that was very well organized and precise. I would label you as INTJ most of the time, although I think it's a major fallacy for anybody to try to typecast themselves as just one type. I don't understand why anybody thinks that any individual person, as infinitely complex as human beings are, has to be just one type. Reductionism, I guess.

    Quote Originally Posted by axa View Post
    In addition i had a quick go at the enneagram test from a link on this site, and ended up with 5w6, which seems to also fit with the INTJ/INTP profiles from what i can see...
    Most of the 5w6's will end up declaring themselves INTJ.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  6. #6
    Junior Member axa's Avatar
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    Thank you, as corny as it sounds it helps to know that "i am not alone" in the nature of how i think and react to the world.

    The trick is going to be learning how to enhance the positive aspects while understanding how to manage the more negative aspects. At least now i have some sense of direction in which to start, which is better than the formless void i have found myself in before.

    And yes, INTJ would seem to represent my dominant traits, while mal12345 has a good point that we are complex beings where other traits can exist in varying degrees. Darn those "grey areas", they spoil a nice clean classification system :p

  7. #7
    Member amazingdatagirl's Avatar
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    INTP welcomes from datagirl

    Followup to Jenaphor - There are essentially two approaches to the 4 letter MBTI type codes
    • dichotomy - seems to be the methodology that commonly draws newbies into personality typing. Each position is assigned either/or value: E/I, S/N, F/T, J/P
    • functional analysis - based on cognitive functions and strength of preference. These terms are used in the FA camp: Fe/Fi, Ne/Ni, Se/Si, Te/Ti. Each MBTI type maps to an ordered list of functions.

    I won't attempt to explain the differences beyond this simple summary. After a year of browsing typology forums, I still get the various Jungians mixed up (Keirsey, Beebe, Berens, Thomson - it all blurs together in my mind). There are other folks on this forum who are better versed in specific theories.

    EDIT: socionics uses same 4 letter code but with slightly different type definitions. For example, MBTI INTJ corresponds to INTp (socionics)

  8. #8
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    My first guess is INTJ, but this is just going off of your original posts structure and the way you handle your children with the "3 strikes" thing. Sounds more like a "J" thing than a "P" thing. But that's not always the case.

    The difference between the INTJ and the INTP is that an INTJ uses Introverted intuition (Ni) first and extroverted thinking second (Te). An INTP uses introverted thinking (Ti) first and extroverted intuition second (Ne). So take a gander at those functions separately and see which appears to be more fitting to you.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  9. #9
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amazingdatagirl View Post
    INTP welcomes from datagirl

    Followup to Jenaphor - There are essentially two approaches to the 4 letter MBTI type codes
    • dichotomy - seems to be the methodology that commonly draws newbies into personality typing. Each position is assigned either/or value: E/I, S/N, F/T, J/P
    • functional analysis - based on cognitive functions and strength of preference. These terms are used in the FA camp: Fe/Fi, Ne/Ni, Se/Si, Te/Ti. Each MBTI type maps to an ordered list of functions.

    I won't attempt to explain the differences beyond this simple summary. After a year of browsing typology forums, I still get the various Jungians mixed up (Keirsey, Beebe, Berens, Thomson - it all blurs together in my mind). There are other folks on this forum who are better versed in specific theories.

    EDIT: socionics uses same 4 letter code but with slightly different type definitions. For example, MBTI INTJ corresponds to INTp (socionics)
    I see now why someone here thought that Fe (etc.) was a function and not just F. The original Jungian typology had just four functions (and Keirsey-Bates has just four temperaments), and 8 types when introversion or extraversion are factored in.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  10. #10
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    I vote for INTJ even though your avatar is unsightly.

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