Hi, everybody! I'm new.
*warning: convoluted post*
I first learned about MBTI in middleschool. It was a very liberal school and our psyche teacher insisted. Back then, I was testing as an INTP and it certainly fit with my hobbies and actions (extreme introversion) at the time. It was a far less introspective time. I was only 11 so I'll cut myself a break.
Around 2 years ago, I started experimenting again and discovered my new found ENFP-ness and that fits with me moreso now that I'm a halfway full person. I've double and triple checked using the resources on this forum (thanks!).
I joined up because I need a bit of help working through some life challenges. Finding my ENFP-ness has helped me some because it's always nice to have some "whys" answered. It all clicked.
I realized that I am a textbook unhealthy ENFP. Save for being manipulative because I think a lot about how I would mess up multiple lives 10 years into the future if I manipulate just one person: "If I do this he'll hate women forever and then he'll (goes on forever)" so I don't do that. I've nearly destroyed my relationship with my mother because of my extreme over-analysis of everything she says and my extreme criticism of everything she does. I also take even minor disagreements very personally and I hate, hate, hate criticism (but never had the balls to admit just how identity compromising it is for me).
All of this stems from my wide open "decisions". I rarely speak for my own interests and am placed into things I may or may not want to be in (I can never tell) leading to A LOT of suppressed anger which has spilled out and eroded me and everyone around me over the last 4 years. Not to mention extremely poor follow through and ever-present boredom. And strong feelings that I could not explain that lead to me quitting three jobs very abruptly and because I could not explain it all the sound and logical people around me.... I felt "wrong".
I've always felt there was something "wrong" with me. ...I get 0_o looks whenever I explain something. I mean I know there's nothing wrong with being ENFP but I just feel like there's something "wrong" with me compared to everyone else and how easily they can hold a boring job and feel fulfilled and make decisions and follow things through. I feel broken.
So. ...I'll stop there but I'm just looking forward to exploring how I can work this out and adjust my overactive intuition (also feeling) and not muddle my judging with perception and personal opinion. ..if that made any sense.
btw, I've always thought of myself as pragmatic and logical but now I'm starting to realize my definition of logical probably only applies to me because everyone else's logic is so different I can't understand it and I'm seldom understood by anyone else.