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  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Default Hi, This Is My Story (and it's long)

    Hello. Thought I'd say hi. I've just joined, and to be perfectly honest, I was also unaware of this whole concept until just a few days ago. I consider myself a skeptic about many things, and have generally given very little attention to anything purpoting to be able to tell me what I'm thinking or who I am based on a something written by other humans. This probably explains my Atheism. But my mother claimed that she was impressed by the MB test, so for the sake of fun, I took one of the basic online ones the other day.

    As I read the results, my jaw dropped - I was shocked by the accuracy of the descriptions. Granted, it was mostly positive, and I acknowledge that it's easy to assume that people like positive desciptions, but it was as though these desciptions went to the very core of my life philosophy. I found it lightly distressing, but not nearly as much as I find it fascinating. I think there's a tendancy among people to assume that we are all incedibly unique, and a desire for it to be true, but this really makes me think that maybe we aren't as unique as we think. As I said, a bit distressing, but I also find something somewhat harmonious about it, like there's something we don't fully understand that binds us all, and it's kind of exciting to me. Maybe a part of me wants to justify my bad or destructive behaviors, but self-improvement is the point, right?

    So, apparently I am an ENFP. I was so curious, I took several of these little tests to confirm this, and they all say the same thing. But I've dealt with a large amount of life upheavel in the past few years, and I feel like perhaps I may have morphed into this type almost violently based on some outside factors. Here's my story:

    I was raised in the Midwest, where I always had many friends, and was a performing musician since age 14. I also have been interested in electronics since high school, and my day job has been something with electronics since I was 19. About three years ago, I decided to move to California to try something different in life. My original plan was to move with my then-long term girlfriend, who I had thought I was in love with, but when she punched me in the face one night, I decided that she wasn't for me any more. Go figure.

    So, I managed through motivational speeches to get two of my best bros to move with me, and we moved with a roar, set on taking over the world, etc., etc. That worked great except for the part where those guys were bums and never found work. I went into the hole thousands trying to support them, but eventually I could do it no longer, and had to cut them loose.

    Shortly prior to this time, I met someone who changed my life completely, the most amazing woman I have ever met. Brilliant, beautiful, and a complete original. But she was in the process of moving to Hawaii when we met - the wheels were already in motion. We were only together for five months. And it was pure bliss, we never fought, we never even argued. She was like my best friend on the first date, and she was the best lover I've ever had by several orders of magnitude. It's almost like I siphoned off her world view about so many things that may or may not had been contrary to previously held views of mine. Given that she was leaving, I pretended it was just casual, but my heart knew better. Finally came the day for her to leave, and I wrote poetry for her. I've written for girls before, but this was different, almost like I couldn't help myself, it just flowed from me, and she cried. It made me think that every piece of poetry or music I had writtent to that point had been a fraud in some way, as though I was feigning emotion rather than really feeling it, I just didn't know any better. The truth is, I had never REALLY been in love before, I didn't even know it until I met her. I've been with maybe 12 girls since her, all very briefly. Not a one has even raised my pulse.

    Right after she left was when my finances went to hell and I had to boot the roommies, so in the course of about two months, I had lost the love of my life, my best bros, and was broke. I went through a period of isolation and depression unlike anything I've ever experienced for about 8 months or so. It was weird, like I had lost my identity or something. I finally got off my ass and formed a new band, which has improved my spirits greatly, and hopefully that will be in full gear very shortly. My finances are still fucked and I don't think I'll ever find another woman like her, but I still talk to her a couple times a week, and I feel like if I just hang on long enough, we'll be reunited again; somehow, someway. I can't help but feel that she thinks the same, maybe I'm deluding myself, but she calls me all the time still after over a year, and has the sound of love in her voice when we talk.

    Anyway, if you've read this far - congratulations, I realize it's wordy, but I didn't want it to be incomplete. Hopefully it's not boring. You're the first person/people in the world that I've shared this with. I've kept this bottled up for so long, and just typing it right now makes me feel better. Maybe no one will read this, but for some reason, of all places, this seemed like the place to do it, maybe because I don't know any of you.

    Glad to meet all of you, and hopefully I'll learn a lot about myself and others from this place. To end, I'll show you guys the poem I read her, which I would've screamed through a megaphone to the world if I could have:

    I put myself out for all to see
    Little did I know it was only for you to find
    I first saw your face in electronic form
    I read your life like a bestseller, one that had been written specifically for me
    Like being hit with a single drop of rain in the middle of a storm
    I questioned myself, was it an accident?
    Would this magical right soon prove to be wronged?
    As I looked farther I found my denial, an impending retreat to paradise
    I said I wouldn't get attached, but already knew I didn't stand a chance
    When we first met, I felt you approach; though I gazed away
    As to delay what I knew would be the inability to look away
    As the night pressed on it became the first of a series of bacon-wrapped dates
    Spicy, unique, and sweeter the more I consumed
    Leaving me wanting to savor every last flavor
    Even though I knew it would soon be gone

    The one who got away, the oldest cliché'
    Gone before we met, just an ocean away

    You took away my vanity
    In my desert of romance, you were an oasis
    Nestled between the false images of needed sustenance
    That amounted to only the consumption of that which I've needed the least
    The oasis returned the ability to create
    And made me realize that love and inspiration can coexist
    The denial ran deep, as though I could compete with paradise
    I could become paradise, I'd open all the automatic doors for you

    Maybe I could make a copy, one to keep for myself
    But I knew I couldn't cage this bird, I'd just lose you twice
    and paradise would be twice as bright

    But even so, I now light up to know
    That I wish, with love, for you to find paradise
    And for paradise to find you
    And I keep with me forever a piece that will make me shine a little brighter, too

    So with thanks and praise I say goodbye to the one who got away
    The ultimate cliché', gone before we met
    But only an ocean away…

    I miss you already

  2. #2
    Senior Member eagleseven's Avatar
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    You weren't kidding about the length!

    It is good that you let it out, somewhere. I am sure there are plenty of people here who will read your story, share similar anecdotes, and give you encouragement and compassion.

    All I can offer is my rather dry sympathy, and perhaps some basic financial advice.

    Welcome.

  3. #3
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    hi kvlars

    welcome
    Weathergirl: District 38 is sunny. Slight rock showers this morning. Chance of rock showers into the afternoon—20 percent. District 39 is cloudy. Chance of rock showers this afternoon—10 percent.
    Edward: Bebop here here! Alright woo hoo!
    Weathergirl: Chance of rock showers today upgraded to 90 percent.
    Edward: Really.

  4. #4
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kVLars View Post
    Glad to meet all of you, and hopefully I'll learn a lot about myself and others from this place.
    Welcome, and I'm sure you will.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  5. #5
    It's always something... PuddleRiver's Avatar
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    Hi Welcome, glad to meet you.
    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay one invincible summer."
    ~~~~
    A Christian's life may be the only Bible some people ever read.
    ~~~~
    "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them" Maya Angelou.
    ~~~~
    I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ" Gandhi
    ~~~~

  6. #6
    Senior Member Ming's Avatar
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    WELCOME!

  7. #7
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    OMG, a discursive, artistic, drama prone (I don't mean that in a bad way), ENFP? A member after my own heart! Yesssss! All you need to do know is use *a lot* of emoticons and you'll have my 100% approval.

    WELCOME! Make yourself at home, run through the forums, make contributions, get to know the place and other members.

    And yes, I did read all of your intro, or rather skimmed it in true ENFP style, which is still a 'yes'.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  8. #8
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    If you're wondering you are really ENFP or if events in your life have made you ENFP. I doubt you have much to worry, doesn't really work that way. You sorta get your preferences and just build on those. For better or worse, but somehow it's much more likely to cling to your cognative function structure either way. You can grow healthy or unhealthy (by societal standards) but never really completely change your type. If you can find yourself in the description of ENFP the most, and tests consistently say you're ENFP, it's pretty safe to assume you simply are an ENFP. At the least, it's the most likely category you fall in, and that by definition makes your MBTI type an ENFP. It's not 1+1 pure logic. It's like the color spectrum. You see a color, you identify it as a category, like blue or yellow. But there are millions of different shades none the less. And not all shades clearly fall into one distinct category. (How often have you had the "It's blue!", "No it's green!" arguement. :P )

    So as far as MBTI is concerned, ENFP is your type.



    Having had bit of a story myself, and after having posted here for a while and learn about some things myself, I can say that my strengths have become stronger. And my weaknesses have become less of a threat. But my type has never changed.

    Kudo's to you for experiencing life. It's not as bad as it may feel. It's better than not living at all by far. It's not just "Shit happens.". It's "Shit happens to make me strong."

    It's always good to be optimistic about such things. Staying in defeat will get you nowhere for sure, always better to get back up and go at it again.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  9. #9
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    If you're wondering you are really ENFP or if events in your life have made you ENFP. I doubt you have much to worry, doesn't really work that way. You sorta get your preferences and just build on those. For better or worse, but somehow it's much more likely to cling to your cognative function structure either way. You can grow healthy or unhealthy (by societal standards) but never really completely change your type. If you can find yourself in the description of ENFP the most, and tests consistently say you're ENFP, it's pretty safe to assume you simply are an ENFP. At the least, it's the most likely category you fall in, and that by definition makes your MBTI type an ENFP. It's not 1+1 pure logic. It's like the color spectrum. You see a color, you identify it as a category, like blue or yellow. But there are millions of different shades none the less. And not all shades clearly fall into one distinct category. (How often have you had the "It's blue!", "No it's green!" arguement. :P )

    So as far as MBTI is concerned, ENFP is your type.



    Having had bit of a story myself, and after having posted here for a while and learn about some things myself, I can say that my strengths have become stronger. And my weaknesses have become less of a threat. But my type has never changed.

    Kudo's to you for experiencing life. It's not as bad as it may feel. It's better than not living at all by far. It's not just "Shit happens.". It's "Shit happens to make me strong."

    It's always good to be optimistic about such things. Staying in defeat will get you nowhere for sure, always better to get back up and go at it again.
    That was the least fluffy post you've ever made
    5 3 9

  10. #10
    Ruler of the Stars Asterion's Avatar
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    KVlars, that was a really cool introduction and I liked it. I remember getting that same feeling first time I read one of those profiles. It would have to be the positive parts that make you feel that way, because really, it's just a whole bunch of almost arbitrary groupings of traits that seem to go together...

    Welcome to you! Lars was a dude from Tekken 6.



    KO!!
    5 3 9

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