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Thread: hi from an INFJ

  1. #21
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by vince View Post
    I like dark yellow.
    Well, that makes some sense. Although my favorite color is dark blue.

    What do I consider small talk ? non-work related talks with my colleagues, talks when I'm buying something in a shop, initial talks with strangers, superficial talks, that sort of thing.
    I'm good at that on some days, but bad at it on others. If I'm having a bad day or I'm distracted/focused, I'm terrible at it. Otherwise, I'm usually fine.
    Why is it difficult ? I don't know. I guess I have a hard time understanding social codes. I don't draw within the lines. The fact that most people make judgements in the first 30 seconds of meeting me, doesn't help either. I don't relax easily in public. Then there's the additional fact that small talk bores me to death. I naturally talk in abstract terms, which makes people either scared because they think I'm intellectually beyond them or b. think I'm coocoo. But I'm getting used to it with growing older.
    I'm better about that, actually. I used to have a little trouble understanding social codes when I was younger (before 12), but I've learned many of them. I still get nervous in public if there's a large crowd, but as long as there are fewer than six or seven people, I'm pretty much fine now. I've learned to limit myself to the vocabulary I would have understood at age seven, talk about fairly mundane things, and try to keep things simple. I've even learned to enjoy it, in a way. Of course, if I sense that the person is fairly complex, I'll venture something a little more complicated, and if they don't balk, then I find the conversation much more interesting.
    I can't recall my enneagram. I think it was 5v4 something (???). Is that even possible ? I've been looking to do that test again, so if you have a link to it, I might be able to tell with more certainty.
    5w4? If that's correct, that means you're likely an INTx. But if you like, you can take this test. I have a few others if you're interested, and/or that one seems wrong/inconclusive.

  2. #22
    Senior Member vince's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    I'm better about that, actually. I used to have a little trouble understanding social codes when I was younger (before 12), but I've learned many of them. I still get nervous in public if there's a large crowd, but as long as there are fewer than six or seven people, I'm pretty much fine now. I've learned to limit myself to the vocabulary I would have understood at age seven, talk about fairly mundane things, and try to keep things simple. I've even learned to enjoy it, in a way. Of course, if I sense that the person is fairly complex, I'll venture something a little more complicated, and if they don't balk, then I find the conversation much more interesting.
    I see. Good thing you've learned to cope with small talk, or better, even enjoy it.
    The problem I have is that I don't want to constantly lower myself to a 7-year old. It's 2007 for Christ' sake. Practically everything we do is powered by technologies people now little or nothing about. Carl Sagan called that a recipe for disaster.
    The "older" I get the less effort I make to connect with other people really. It's not just the small talk that annoys me. I understand it's a way to relax or ease tensions for many people.
    What bothers me is the complete unwillingness or incapacity of many people to have conversations beyond that. Sorry for sounding bitter. That's just one aspect about me.

    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    5w4? If that's correct, that means you're likely an INTx. But if you like, you can take this test. I have a few others if you're interested, and/or that one seems wrong/inconclusive.
    Thanks. I took the test & apparently I'm a 6. How about yours ?
    I wasn't aware that people of the same type tend to share the same enneagram.

    Take care

  3. #23
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    You know, Charles Manson was an INFJ too.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

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