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  1. #1
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Default Hi! another new person!

    Hi -

    Warning: Probably the longest intro ever. Sorry, I tend to write a lot.

    I have typed myself as INFJ, as at the moment it seems like the best fit for me; however, I'm constantly questioning this, and while I'm extremely interested in psychology and type-theory (obviously...that's why I find myself on this site!), at the same time it causes me quite a bit of internal stress. I'm trying to figure out why I get stressed out by the fact that I'm not certain about my type (because logically it shouldn't matter at all). I guess I like the idea of fitting into a 'type'?

    So let me know if I should change my 'type' on this profile...

    How a good friend/coworker described me when I asked her how she'd describe me (I did this because I've decided maybe I don't really know how I come across to people - and, I was rather surprised at her answer!): She says I am very poised/controlled in how I choose to present myself to others, that she thinks most people don't know the half of what I'm about, that I'm extremely intelligent and she's rather envious of my ability to see the heart of the matter and take many different pieces and come to a conclusion that she wouldn't even think of, that I'm very articulate in meetings/conversation [this is the thing that continues to floor me, as I get that in reviews as well -- I think it's because internally I'm so self-conscious and I don't particularly like talking], and that I'm sweet once you get to know me, and while I'm very poised/controlled most of the time, when I laugh it's like a tinkling bell. haha - that imagery made me smile. She also told me the other day that she could totally see me becoming a Director, just because of how insightful and sure of myself I am. When she told me this...I decided she didn't know enough about me. :-) Because, I have no desire to work my way up the ladder - it's just that I guess I'm good at the work stuff, so that I catch notice from higher-ups, even though I could care less about an 'important' job that consumes a lot of my time! That would just add more stress to my life, when I see everything outside of work as what's really important. Also..I think I'm confident in my abilities at work -- I wouldn't say I'm confident in my personality. :-) I also don't want to lead people - it would stress me out too much, because I don't like being the center of attention. It's just I find people putting me there, at work, just because I'm competant and am not afraid to speak my mind -- on work-related subjects. :-)

    Now my turn to list some of how I see myself -

    *I find a constant theme in my life is that I yearn for peace and happiness - internal peace.
    *But it's a constant battle for me - at times I can attain it, but then at times I'm in internal turmoil -- i.e. self-analyzing, to the point of intense anxiety about myself
    *But this doesn't happen 'often', per se, it's just that it's inevitable that it'll happen at some point in the future...again. ;-)
    *I'm not very outgoing; I have to force myself to get out and interact, and chitchat with people I don't know.
    *I have forced myself to do things I'm not naturally comfortable with, though, just for 'growth' sake, and to challenge myself, or because I think it'll be good for me.
    *My brain is always processing things, and observing, and thinking...so much so that I almost detest this in me, because I often just wish I could turn it off and simply BE - simply exist, just me and my senses. :-)
    *I am most happy out in nature, and I feel I can attain peace, and nature/wildlife/wilderness is what I value immensely.
    *I like just sitting back and drinking tea, or listening to music.
    *I enjoy watercolor painting
    *Really into nature photography
    *Like decorating my apartment, and having it just so; like to keep it clean.
    *I love to travel and see and experience the world
    *I enjoy reading
    *I feel that I need a lot of alone time, just to relax and unwind, but if I get too much of it, I start feeling really ancy, and like I'm wasting my time, and that I need to get out and be with people -- so it's this weird thing where I crave intimacy, and need to be around people, but it's so rare that I meet someone who I really connect with, that it drains me to be around people that I don't connect with, so then I want to be by myself....
    *I consider myself to be moody -- I can be extremely joyful and giddy and childlike and silly (around family, or people I know really well), but then in general I tend to brood and think a lot about stuff, and take life pretty seriously
    *I've been told I have a good sense of humor, and one guy (I went on a few dates with him) told me it's an aspect that stood out about me - that I'd say something, very offhand, without even intending for it to be funny, and it would be 5 minutes later and he'd realize, 'Man, that was really funny, what she said.'
    *I was very good in school, and got fairly good test scores; started out in engineering, because that's what I 'should' do because I was good at math and science, but I found I didn't like the coldness of it, or the engineer-types that were in all of my classes (no offense ;-), so I went into bio instead.
    *Never liked labwork though; it bored me.
    *Never really knew what I wanted to do when I grew up
    *I think I perplex some people, as well as myself, in that I don't really have any 'goals' in my life. I’m kind of about making the most of my life, and trying to live in the now (i.e. traveling as much as I reasonably can, now, rather than postponing for a future that might not come about), but also am big on preparing for the future, financially. Happiness tends to be my goal, and right now I'm pretty content with my life, but whenever I start becoming unhappy, then that's when I'll look into it, and start figuring out what changes I need to make (i.e. job, social life, whatever) to make things better. But until then, I don't see much need, or feel any urgency, to do anything.
    *I'm huge on personal responsibility, and taking accountability for the choices one makes in life, and how each choice impacts your life -- and not blaming others for what you did to yourself!!!
    *I have lots of opinions about things, and I genuinely want to help people if they're unhappy or if I think they're going down the wrong path...but I often don't state the opinions because I don't see the 'point' in doing so.
    *Despite how I come across via email...very little of this would be noted by anyone in real life, because most of these thoughts/feelings STAY in my head; for one, because on some level I think they're silly, because of their presence only in the moment (i.e. I know I won't feel this way permanently about it), and also I don't find it appropriate to unleash all of it on anyone, really. :-) Except, obviously, via web forums. Sigh.

  2. #2
    Junior Member Matt G's Avatar
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    Default Wow

    Wow - sounds like you have a lot on and in your mind (which is a good thing me thinks) but sounds to me like you know yourself well, may be your colleagues feedback is classic back to an I i.e they only see what you allow them to see an dit doesn't necessarily match your inner thoughts...

    I can identify wuith loads in your self description list, being INTJ guess not surprising theres a fair bit of overlap..

    As for stress feeling you want to sort it out and be clear etc then can identify with that too..

    Guess no easy answer

    It may be a life times work for all of us...

    Have fun in the forum, anyway

    Matt

  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I think both your friend's description AND your description fit very well with INFJ. (I do not notice any glaring discrepancies.) And as an INxx, I will say that I identified and/or have experienced many of the things in your list as well.

    That was a beautiful intro post. I don't even know what else to ask at the moment, it give a clear picture of you. (And don't worry about sheer quantity of words, I can give you a run for your money. )

    Ummm...

    (1) What color would you paint your room, if you had a choice of any color in the world?
    (2a) What sort of pet would you have? (2b) What sort of pet would survive being your pet?
    (3) What is your favorite chia pet?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #4
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Thanks, both of you!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    (1) What color would you paint your room, if you had a choice of any color in the world?
    (2a) What sort of pet would you have? (2b) What sort of pet would survive being your pet?
    (3) What is your favorite chia pet?
    1. Hmm. In my bedroom? I went through a big red kick several years ago, that lasted for a few yrs (but I'd never paint the walls red...just had lots of red fabrics, etc), but I'm wanting something more soothing these days. Now, I'd probably do a cooler color - more of a sage green, I'm thinking, or an earthy tan/sand, or something. Living room, on the other hand, would be more of a warm color, like mustard or a non-obnoxious, more subtle reddish-brown.

    2. I have a cat right now! And, she loves me. :-)

    3. Chia pet? What if I don't like chia pets? Real plants are WAY better - I have about 15 of those in my place!

  5. #5
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascademn View Post
    1. Hmm. In my bedroom? I went through a big red kick several years ago, that lasted for a few yrs (but I'd never paint the walls red...just had lots of red fabrics, etc),
    Neat, are you talking about just the color of the fabrics in the room, or did you ever consider putting fabrics on the walls? (Some of the funkier design shows get away with using fabric like wallpaper...)

    3. Chia pet? What if I don't like chia pets? Real plants are WAY better - I have about 15 of those in my place!
    Well, I'm very impressed. I'd have a little trouble getting around to the "watering" part... and unfortunately, plants aren't negotiable on that one.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #6
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    Hi.
    Me too I like nature photography

  7. #7
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Neat, are you talking about just the color of the fabrics in the room, or did you ever consider putting fabrics on the walls? (Some of the funkier design shows get away with using fabric like wallpaper...)
    For several years, because I don't have a headboard on my bed, I hung a bedspread made in India (a scarlet red color, with beige swirlie patterns on it) on the wall behind my bed, to create a headboard effect.

    Now that I'm not wanting that much intense color in my bedroom anymore, the Indian bedspread has now been folded up so that it is a drapery on one end of the tacky plastic blinds in my new apartment.

    As for the plants..I just like having life in my apartment, and I guess I'm good at remembering stuff like watering plants.

  8. #8
    It's always something... PuddleRiver's Avatar
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    Hi there! Glad to have you aboard.
    "In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay one invincible summer."
    ~~~~
    A Christian's life may be the only Bible some people ever read.
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    "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them" Maya Angelou.
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    I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ" Gandhi
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  9. #9
    The Unwieldy Clawed One Falcarius's Avatar
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    Welcome.
    Quote Originally Posted by Thalassa View Post
    Oh our 3rd person reference to ourselves denotes nothing more than we realize we are epic characters on the forum.

    Narcissism, plain and simple.

  10. #10
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascademn View Post
    Hi -...
    Welcome!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I think both your friend's description AND your description fit very well with INFJ....
    I think INFJ is a good possibility.

    "joyful and giddy and childlike and silly" in front of family.
    This sounds kind of P to me.
    What do you think?

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