First of, I'm happy to see you around, I'm in the Sonoran Desert too and an ENTP, we should totally be bffs!
I have had a few friendships with ENFJs and tried to date one, the only time I almost dated a friend. It has never gone well for me, fundamentally we're just too different and they make me want to choke them to death. I need peace, I can't find it in an ENFJ.
Remember this, MBTI isn't four letters, it's a function stack. It's the lowest energy use ways we look at and process the world and the information we find.
ENTP is Ne/Ti/Fe/Si
ENFJ is Fe/Ni/Se/Ti
So it's not a matter of an ENFJ being a more organized and sensitive ENTP, they're two totally and very different types!
In an ENFJ, they don't really have a strong thinking function so they're tough to logic with, for an ENTP anyway.
So I think your issue is just learning to accept how different you are. She will never "get" you (not in the way an ENTP deeply desires anyway) and vice versa, the best you can do is love and accept each other and be willing to let things roll off your back.
I couldn't do this, I'm divorced, at least now, by myself, I no longer feel so damn alone.
Not trying to be heavy, just sharing my experiences. Damn, that sounds gloomy when I read it again, oh well, you can handle my reality without having to make it your own.