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  1. #21
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Nice also might mean "helping people with stuff" where they accept the help and move on vs. realizing the help is an overture of friendship.

    End result: INFP feels used, other people have no idea what happened.

  2. #22
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ameshkin View Post
    I'm also an INFP, and I'm having a hard time making lasting friends. Seems like the nicer you are to people, the more they take advantage of you and discard you with no emotion.
    In addition to the above, you could be drawn to, and therefore being nice to the wrong people.

  3. #23
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    Default clingy

    I'm not really clingy, although I have been in the past with girls i like.

    I think it's more that I be nice to try and find friends, but it doesn't really work out that way.

    Sometimes, I'll meet a girl I'll really like, and because I actually like her..I'll treat her nice. Too nice, but not clingy.

    Like this last girl..she loves to party. Sometiems she would call me, sometimes she would 't. But I never cared. I never called her...

    But she wanted to just hook up..and I wanted more...and now she doesn't want me in her life..because I want more.


  4. #24
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I didn't mean to suggest that you were clingy, just that most "nice men" that I meet tend to be on the clingy side. Sorry for the misunderstanding!! (but glad you admitted that you were in the past... it happens to the best of us, no worries!)

    If you like a girl, then you need to let her know that. For me, if you don't call me and make an effort, then I'll never take you seriously. As old fashioned as this sounds, you are the man so you gotta call more than I do. I also assume that a man that sleeps with me casually and doesn't call me, has no interest in me. That's just to give you another view of the whole thing. It's probably a safe bet not to have casual sex with a woman that you interested in for a relationship.

  5. #25
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    Default jenocyde

    The thing is, we live in different times now. Girls want to act just like men these days, and "hook up" with people.

    I turned her off by telling her that I like her. And the times where we were drunk on the coucn together, just snuggling, I never made a move because I liked her.

    I know that other guys too sometimes get too nice around girls they like.

    But you're right. It's good we didn't hook up. Al lthis girl ever wants to do is go out and meet "hot surfer guys" or tall guys with nice apps, and take them home on the first night.

    She's had one real relationship, and the pain from that keeps her from trying again.

    SO you know, it never works when one person likes the other, and the same isn't returned.

    Besides, she's an ENTJ. I guess as an INFP, I should be looking for ESFJ or ENFJ..

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    In addition to the above, you could be drawn to, and therefore being nice to the wrong people.
    That is true, in the past, I have often felt like I have been drawn to the wrong people...

  7. #27
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ameshkin View Post
    The thing is, we live in different times now. Girls want to act just like men these days, and "hook up" with people.

    I turned her off by telling her that I like her. And the times where we were drunk on the coucn together, just snuggling, I never made a move because I liked her.

    I know that other guys too sometimes get too nice around girls they like.

    But you're right. It's good we didn't hook up. Al lthis girl ever wants to do is go out and meet "hot surfer guys" or tall guys with nice apps, and take them home on the first night.

    She's had one real relationship, and the pain from that keeps her from trying again.

    SO you know, it never works when one person likes the other, and the same isn't returned.

    Besides, she's an ENTJ. I guess as an INFP, I should be looking for ESFJ or ENFJ..
    You can't really say that certain types should go for certain ones... It's a personal preference. An ESFJ or ENFJ would drive me totally insane.

    Don't let one bad apple ruin the bunch. Don't let one bad experience convince you that all of humanity is terrible.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  8. #28
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    Hello fellow INFP!

  9. #29
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ameshkin View Post
    The thing is, we live in different times now. Girls want to act just like men these days, and "hook up" with people.

    I turned her off by telling her that I like her. And the times where we were drunk on the coucn together, just snuggling, I never made a move because I liked her.

    I know that other guys too sometimes get too nice around girls they like.

    But you're right. It's good we didn't hook up. Al lthis girl ever wants to do is go out and meet "hot surfer guys" or tall guys with nice apps, and take them home on the first night.

    She's had one real relationship, and the pain from that keeps her from trying again.

    SO you know, it never works when one person likes the other, and the same isn't returned.

    Besides, she's an ENTJ. I guess as an INFP, I should be looking for ESFJ or ENFJ..
    Not sure I agree with you on anything that you said about women wanting to "act like men". We are all sexual beings, not only men have that right. I just think that you should pick women that are more aligned with your way of thinking - there are plenty of them out there. Good luck!

  10. #30
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Hey, Ameshkin. I find first impression as neutrally polite the best way to go. Anyone truly worth even a step in the direction of kindness will eventually show themselves, but then only give them a step. After that, if they bite your hand, send them back one step and keep them there. It's a slow way of making friends, but I'm finding that as I get older I have less energy to donate to the process rather than more. Also a few good ones is always easier on the reserves than a plethora of mid-way friendships.

    Edit: Wow, 5000...
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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