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  1. #1
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    Question How does an ISTJ become more like an ENFP and vice-versa

    My husband is an ISTJ and I'm an ENFP. We have been married for 13yrs.(15yrs. total). He is trying to get his HS Diploma (GED) and he has great difficulty with reading and spelling. He needs to write an essay to get it and the ISTJ's supposed difficulty with abstarct/ambiguous thinking is obviously making this more difficult. He wants ENFP attributes and I would like some ISTJ attributes; Any Suggestions??

  2. #2
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    hmm...from my experience....i just don't think you can actually become more similar. i think you can understand one another better but to behave like each other would be to behave in an opposite unnatural way to yourself. he just needs to find a systematic approach to his studies. he needs to concentrate on one thing at a time and know the material well enough that he can put together an essay in his own way.

    nice that that's something you both want however i think understanding and appreciating is the better route.

    but...it might be helpful to tell him your approach and maybe he can find his way through that.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #3
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    ISTJs are quite anal about doing things properly. Pick out some exercises for him to do. Gradually build up his skill. Start with basic exercises and make them progressively harder. Go to amazon. Get really easy books with solved problems. Tell him to go through the whole book and do every problem--should be no trouble for a real ISTJ. Then get a slightly harder book. Use your N to pick the books that will help, and his propensity to do things properly to get through the exercises. There is no better way to learn than actually doing lots of exercises. The exercises will help him with his reading. He should also try to read more books.

    You might also want to put together a study schedule. There are a lot of great books on that too.

  4. #4
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    ^^ good advice. i assume if this is a goal of his that he would have no trouble doing all the work necessary. that's how they're built, right?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #5
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    True ISTJs have to do everything properly. They seem to feel emotional pain when they see something incomplete or out of place. At least that's the way I interpreted it.

  6. #6
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    Question ISTJ/ENFP trading traits

    My husband is ISTJ and wants to be positive, enthusiastic,etc.etc.
    He is in the "Doom" arena. (Depressed?) He is feeling lifeless ,drained ,and otherwise unmotivated about life in general. No desires to go and see or to have the finer things in life. I on the other hand want to go and see everything in the world, I like to talk he doesn't etc. etc.
    How does a person motivate an ISTJ to be a positive futuristic thinker?

  7. #7
    Senior Member Anja's Avatar
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    I think Keirsey talks about the goal never being to try to be like any other type. I think the healthy direction would be to work within one's own constructs in a more emotionally constructive manner.
    "No ray of sunshine is ever lost, but the green which it awakes into existence needs time to sprout, and it is not always granted to the sower to see the harvest. All work that is worth anything is done in faith." - Albert Schweitzer

  8. #8
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by love boat View Post
    My husband is ISTJ and wants to be positive, enthusiastic,etc.etc.
    He is in the "Doom" arena. (Depressed?) He is feeling lifeless ,drained ,and otherwise unmotivated about life in general. No desires to go and see or to have the finer things in life. I on the other hand want to go and see everything in the world, I like to talk he doesn't etc. etc.
    How does a person motivate an ISTJ to be a positive futuristic thinker?
    Why is he depressed? Is he unhappy with his work? Is he overweight?

    Is he stressed?

    "Under stress, ISTJs may fall into "catastrophe mode", where they see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. They will berate themselves for things which they should have done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. They will lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and will depress themselves with their visions of doom."
    Portrait of an ISTJ

    One way to deal with stress is meditation. Think of it as defragging your brain:

    Amazon.com: meditation

    Another way is exercise. Make sure he has some recreational activity. May growing pot plants or something.

  9. #9
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    Default ISTJ crisis

    Thanks for all the good advice. I will check some of it out!
    The link to the ISTJ profile was somewhat helpful. Will have to look up extraverted thinking strategies for him. Thanks again

  10. #10
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by love boat View Post
    My husband is ISTJ and wants to be positive, enthusiastic,etc.etc.
    He is in the "Doom" arena. (Depressed?) He is feeling lifeless ,drained ,and otherwise unmotivated about life in general. No desires to go and see or to have the finer things in life. I on the other hand want to go and see everything in the world, I like to talk he doesn't etc. etc.
    How does a person motivate an ISTJ to be a positive futuristic thinker?
    "Enthusiasm" is something I've never had a lot, or even wanted. "Interest" at the most, but not enthusiasm. "Calm" is nice, too. I think it's just bothering him because he sees these things in you, and because he cares about you and admires you, and maybe because he lacks them. All of those things together make him want to be more like you.

    Quote Originally Posted by erinavery View Post
    ^^ good advice. i assume if this is a goal of his that he would have no trouble doing all the work necessary. that's how they're built, right?
    Yes, if this is a goal of his. If he's not sure whether he wants to do it, he may never get through all that stuff. And that may freak him out more when he sees the growing pile of stuff that he hasn't finished.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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