User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 11

  1. #1
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Posts
    911

    Default Moving the furniture in. Making the place cozy.

    I figured I'd put this in Welcomes and Introductions as a way for people to make themselves more familiar to us.

    So, what is your family like? Big? Small? Crazy? Sane? Invasive? Apathetic? Let's have some background on the family life of the person on the other side of the screen. Include MBTI types, if you so desire, though the thread isn't meant to be MBTI centered.

    My mom and dad were never married. I was apparently a really good date lol. My mom is an ESFP and I live with her. My mother Mary and my father Michael are on good terms. They like eachother, and my suspicion is that the only reason the relationship didn't work out was because they were at too different stages in their lives, and in all honesty I'd rather have happy parents apart than miserable parents together. I know, who am I trying to convince right? Lol.

    Anyhoo, my dad's an ENFJ, and he married an ESTJ who goes by the name of Susan. Together they've had three girls; Rachael (13, XXFJ), Emily (8, EXXP) and Kate (5). I all of them. They're very happy, intelligent girls who do great in school, and my oldest has quite a bit of an artistically expressive streak.

    Beyond my immediate family, all sanity subsides. I have twenty-two cousins, six aunts and one late uncle... On my mother's side, and it's too early to count all the other ones on my father's and stepmother's sides. So yeah. Christmas is a bitch.

    Anyway, enough about me, let's talk about you!
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  2. #2
    perdu fleur par bologne Martoon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    1,361

    Default

    *Starts stopwatch for SolitaryWalker's arrival...*
    I'm not a procrastinator. I'm a long-term planner.

  3. #3
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INfj
    Posts
    3,741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Martoon View Post
    *Starts stopwatch for SolitaryWalker's arrival...*
    Are you expecting him to come? hehe

    Back on topic, my family... immediate family... 4 person, parents + one younger brother. I have to admit that I do not get along with my brother well at all. We're seven years apart in age... plus our personalities differs too much (He's an ESFJ). In my mind, I see him as too dependent on other people... why can't he figure stuff out rather than to ask me every time there are problems? He also wants a closeness in which I cannot supply. All it ended up doing is make me testy... I loath intrusions to my privacy, I repeatedly tell him to repect it... needless to say he ignores it. Perhaps it's just a part of being an ESFJ... but nowadays I found myself becoming irritated everytime he's around regardless of whether he had a valid reason to be or not. This has to change... yet I don't know where to start.

    My immediate family isn't all that close to me. Not in the way I want it to be. Extended family is even more remote. My mother's side of the family lives here... so there are family gatherings we go to... my father's side though is all spread out. I haven't seen any of them for years.

  4. #4
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Posts
    911

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nightning View Post
    Are you expecting him to come? hehe

    Back on topic, my family... immediate family... 4 person, parents + one younger brother. I have to admit that I do not get along with my brother well at all. We're seven years apart in age... plus our personalities differs too much (He's an ESFJ). In my mind, I see him as too dependent on other people... why can't he figure stuff out rather than to ask me every time there are problems? He also wants a closeness in which I cannot supply. All it ended up doing is make me testy... I loath intrusions to my privacy, I repeatedly tell him to repect it... needless to say he ignores it. Perhaps it's just a part of being an ESFJ... but nowadays I found myself becoming irritated everytime he's around regardless of whether he had a valid reason to be or not. This has to change... yet I don't know where to start.

    My immediate family isn't all that close to me. Not in the way I want it to be. Extended family is even more remote. My mother's side of the family lives here... so there are family gatherings we go to... my father's side though is all spread out. I haven't seen any of them for years.
    Cool. How old are you and your brother?
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  5. #5
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INfj
    Posts
    3,741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
    Cool. How old are you and your brother?
    I am 22... he's 15. Somehow it always seem to me that I have failed in some ways for providing proper guidance to him. His people skills can use a lot of work. Oh well, I keep on telling myself there's not much I can do about it.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Eileen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6?
    Posts
    2,191

    Default

    Ah, my family. I love them. They're AMAZING!

    Mom (ISFJ) and Dad (INTP, thinks he's "mellowed" into INFP, hasn't) met while working at a home for mentally ill or otherwise invalid adults. My mom was the medication nurse and my father was an attendant. They started dating and were married about three months later. They were young when they married (24 and 21).

    They are gentle, loving, and extremely difficult people. Dad is addiction-prone and codependent (and, I have suspected, maybe a little bipolar), and Mom has schizoaffective disorder. Schizoaffective disorder is episodic, so she goes through long periods of wellness with blips of complete batshitness that have lasted two or three months to two years.

    Because of their respective problems, Mom and Dad have had rocky times. Four years ago, my mother moved into a group home because she couldn't deal with my sister and father's chaos at home anymore. They very nearly divorced then.

    Some other stuff happened, and my dad ended up getting a job in a city an hour away. My parents have stayed married. Mom lives in in her own apartment now, which is subsidized by some mental health organization. She lives on a fixed income and is the happiest I've ever seen her. She spends most weekends with my dad. The resilience of their relationship has really astounded and inspired me.

    My introverted parents spawned three introverted people, in this order: Matthew (IXXJ; untestable because of mental retardation), me (INFJ), and Marti (INFP). I've always been very close to my siblings--probably because we all are very introverted people, and we were one another's built-in friends.

    Because he could be difficult to manage (especially for crazy people), my brother (two years older) lived in group homes for probably ten years until he died in July 2005. (NCentral, incidentally, was the place where I processed a lot of my pre-grief and grief for him.) I miss him a lot, and his death revealed to me my desire to work for hospice in a spiritual capacity.

    My sister (three years younger) is my best friend, and she understands me better than anyone else. We have the same context and have both come out of that context very compassionate and ambitious. She is studying recreational therapy. Sometimes her complete aversion to order or schedules drives me crazy (and I must say, I'm a pretty laid back person), but she's still the person I love the best and who I most want to go on adventures with.

    I have cousins and stuff, but I don't know them well (nor do I have a special desire to seek those relationships out, spare one or two girl cousins who have made attempts in my direction).

  7. #7
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    My dad is probably an ISTP (who believes he is an ESTJ) who I only met about ten years ago. He is a cool person and would have been a good dad if he'd had the opportunity. (I was a rebound/post-Viet Nam fling). I talk to him a few times a year. His girlfriend, who really is an ESTJ, seems to be threatened by our relationship. My dad is happy with her, so I do not want to rock that boat. He was so sad when he was alone.

    My mom is an ESFP. She has not been diagnosed with any mental illnesses, but I think that something is not right. We were on good terms until a few years ago when she really went off the deep end and hooked up with a scary guy. Before that, she was married for 15 years to the man I still consider my step-dad. He is an ISXP and has had substance abuse problems off and on throughout his life. When he's not out of his head he's a pretty decent guy. I had a few different step-dads before that and mom also had engagements and boyfriends in between the marriages.

    My grandma and my step-grandpa were very involved in my upbringing. I adored both of them in different ways. My grandma was an ISXJ. She was nurturing, worried all the time, and had a dry sense of humor. We always used to go for walks because she didn't drive. My grandpa was an ESTP who repaired bicycles and lawnmowers for a living, usually having a junk store to go with it. He apparently liked the ladies a lot which caused problems, but I was blissfully unaware of all that. He'd just inexplicably disappear for extended periods every now and then. He never bonded with any of his biological children or grandchildren the way he did with me. I was the apple of his eye and he spoiled me as rotten as a compliant, little INFJ girl can get.

    I have two half-brothers, both of them younger than me. The older one is six years younger than me. I think he is probably an ESTJ. He was a little rowdy, but also conscientious and polite. We were especially close as teens and I was like a second mother to him. His wife is an ISFJ that I think very highly of, even though she mystifies me from time to time. They are associate pastors at a local church. I don't see as much of them as I'd like to because they are so busy.

    My youngest brother is 21 years younger than me and is more like a nephew or a step-son to me. He has been through some serious hell with his parents' antics and he is now being raised by our brother and his wife. I imagine he's an ISTP. He is very athletic, but does pretty good at other stuff, too, and doesn't like to be considered a jock.

    I'm not really close to any of my cousins and most of the ones on my mom's side pretty certainly think I'm a horrible person because they've only heard my mom's side of things, but I really can't be bothered to set the record straight. Plus, she needs to have people besides me, my brother, and my step-dad she can pull into her dramas, so it's best that she stays on good terms with them.

    Overall, I consider my childhood happy, but unstable. I'm hoping to give my kids the combination of happiness and stability that I would have liked to have had.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  8. #8
    Guerilla Urbanist Brendan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Posts
    911

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    ...he died in July 2005...
    I didn't know that!



    I remember reading your blogs and thinking to myself, "well, at least he's in good hands with Eileen."
    There is no such thing as separation from God.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Dark Razor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    271

    Default

    Mh, lets see, since I am from teh Europe where we dont have children anymore it means that I dont have a large exteded family.
    My parents are an ESFJ (mother) who works as a therapist for alcoholics and also owns a massage-buisness(?) and my father who is either ISTP or ISTJ, I tend towards ISTJ because he is relatively obsessed with security and order, on the other hand he loves to travel relatively spontaneusly, I remember when I was twelve or so he suddenly had the idea to hike through the jungle of Indonesia for a month or so, or when I traveled with him to Madeira, a Portugues island in the Atlantic, we planed to travel acros the entire island with our bikes and he was like "ah we dont need to book hotels there in advance, we'll just check what's available when we get there." And I was like "yeah true, easy shit that." And it did work out, so maybe he isnt an ISTJ, dunno.

    My parents divorced when I was 9 years old and I first lived with my mother, for 4 years and we were fighting daily, mostly over trivial stuff like how my room looked, or why I did not come home when she returned from work to greet and hug her(!) So when I was 13 I told her she can go fuck herself (she did undergo therapy and we now get along ok) and moved to my father, with whom I got along better, but not really great, though he did grant me a lot of autonomy and living with him was ok.
    two of my grandparents are still alive but I dont have any contact with them unless absolutely necessary because they annoy me, yea does not sound nice but that's how it is.

    I have a sister (ExFP) whom I get along with ok and I enjoy meeting with her from time to time, she is an artist and right now she is struggling to find a way to make a living off her talents, I am trying to support her, if I can, mostly with technical stuff like fixing her computer or helping with legal things.

    Apart from that I have one aunt and one uncle who have a single daughter who is my cousin of course, but I hardly ever see them, and when I do then it's realy ackward because we have nothing to talk about. Then there are all the siblings of my grandparents, which I only see at funerals and birthdays and I also dont like having to talk to any of them.

  10. #10
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    Oh the family thing right...

    Ok so it's just me, my sister (slightly older and ENFJ) and my dad (ENTJ, the autum years (ie he's just about hitting 21 again in his head )).

    My mother passed away like four years ago (I think), the dog soon after. She was an ISFJ and the centre pin of my morals.

    Right away from immediate family I have two nephews (I think Tats (my sister) would complain that they should be immediate family but strictly speaking I don't think they are), Ash and Bee. Ash is now getting real close to those terrible teen years, Bee has just started school (my version of just started, could have been last year and I wouldn't remember!!).

    [Suppose I should explain, names aren't being given because my family can be a little private and paranoid about that kind of thing (something about "well you just shouldn't") and I would put ages etc if I could remember them and if it were polite. Besides both defy the normal age related stuff so it's fairly useless anyway.]

    As for extended family, I don't have a lot to do with them. They either disapprove of me or make the mistake of waiting for me to make contact which is so unlikely it's like waiting for a lottery win to buy a car. Either you need the car and are going to have to figure out how to get it or it's a luxoury and your not really that bothered.

    Btw, why am I telling you lot all this?
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

Similar Threads

  1. [Other] "Oh, the Places You'll Go!"
    By SillySapienne in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 02-27-2011, 06:59 AM
  2. [ENFP] Music Moves The Mind (and Body!)
    By CzeCze in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 09-21-2009, 01:11 AM
  3. The place where spontaneity does not exist
    By Virtual ghost in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 03-16-2009, 04:07 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO