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Thread: ESFJs: an underrepresented demographic..?

  1. #11
    Senior Member Array JivinJeffJones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007


    Welcome! We need more ESFJs if only so we can watch the INTPs twitch and squirm. It's often the only exercise they get all day.

  2. #12


    Thanks for the welcomes, all! I don't pretend to be an expert on typing, but I'm here to learn and contribute where I can. I'm very interested in psychology in general, too, but I don't have any formal training in it. That said, I'll be sure to be out and about in the forums!

    Quote Originally Posted by pippi View Post
    There aren't many ESFJs on here because most aren't very interested in personality typing. Sounds like finding out your type has been an eye opener for you.

    Welcome aboard.
    That seems a bit strange to me, since I tend to use personality typing as another tool to use in trying to relate to others better.

    But then, due to the way I've been brought up, I probably do analyze much more than the average ESFJ.. for good and for bad. This also means incorporating reading material, tools such as the MBTI, and analytical reasoning in my relationships with others, at least to some degree. Maybe most ESFJs simply rely on their innate ability to read and relate to people and so aren't interested in seeking out typing and other tools?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    Unfortunately, we only have 2 or 3 of your type who post often. So it's great to see you here. Hope you like the place!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    Yo greed. Yes, ESFJ is definitely underrepresented on this forum. So much so that many posters here use ESFJ as a stereotype of people they don't like or consider inferior to them in some way. They even try to tell the most prominent ESFJ poster here that he really must be some other type because he's "too intelligent" or "too analytical" to possibly be ESFJ. Which is of course a big crock. Hopefully you will post enough to help bust some of these false notions.
    Quote Originally Posted by bronte View Post
    I have always really enjoyed spending time with esfjs ( as long as the J isnt too strong) My sister is an esfj -I love her ability to live in the present, her generosity of soul (I think esfjs are the hosts and hostesses of the world) her empathy and ability to get things done - the esfjs Ive worked with have always gone the extra mile to help people
    the esfjs ive known have been teachers, psychologists, nurses - so the psychological slant of your research sounds a good fit.
    My Mum is also an esfj - unfortunatly the J is the most dominant aspect of her personality and she constantly tries to manipulate me (I dont think she does this deliberately most of the time) so this is a more difficult relationship

    good to have you here!
    Quote Originally Posted by Cimarron View Post
    That's generally all it takes: some time to get to know each other. Understanding goes a long way.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mo_(operalover) View Post
    My favorite type; I crush on every other young ESFJ woman.

    Someday, you're going to make an ISFP woman very happy.
    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    Welcome! We need more ESFJs if only so we can watch the INTPs twitch and squirm. It's often the only exercise they get all day.
    And I'll be glad to be of service! My nature is to try to bring out the best in others, and maybe I can exercise that here as others explore the relationship between their personality type, themselves, and the rest of the world. I've seen some threads where people have been down on themselves or in need of some advice, at least..

    I think my J is fairly dominant, but I have another ESFJ friend whose J is obviously moreso than mine. He has no problem "guiding" people to do what he wants them to do, which usually just so happens to benefit him as well. He leaves them feeling like he's met a need of theirs, though.. in some cases, perhaps he has; in others, probably not.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mondo View Post
    Welcome to the forum!

    You can be a logical thinker and an F.
    There is a 50% I am an F and I'm definitely math/science oriented.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    I will forever fight the battle against Fs considering themselves Ts just because they are able to do math, and generally use the T function. It's a matter of priority--What typically concerns you. It is not a decision as to which function you will solely use for the rest of your life.
    Oh, yeah.. I didn't mean to say that can't be a logical thinker--I pretty much have to exercise that because of my major anyway--but I've found that I definitely don't prefer it. Although, when I give advice to others, I end up doing so from a logical perspective, rather than simply trying to mirror their feelings and completely agreeing with them. I do try to steer them from their feelings to some reasoned advice in a constructive manner--empathizing with them and listening to them first, getting them into a state where they may be receptive of advice, then offering my train of thought to them if it's appropriate. I have a way of telling people that they may have a share of the blame in a particular problem without making them feel bad about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by saieditor View Post
    That's the benefit of type. It lets you discover yourself and give you permission to be yourself. You can be very gentle with yourself on the inside and take a more relaxed approach to the world. In my view, type is a wonderful asset and helps you to be more peaceful. (others, well, their mileage may vary, and that's OK)
    This I agree with. Since I've come to know myself and done some research into what I can expect of my own personality types, I've been able to note that I might be prone to taking well-meant criticism personally and avoiding conflict. I don't try to use type as an excuse, though, since I try to notice when those sorts of scenarios arise, accept that I might innately feel a certain way about them, and try to look at them from a different light.

    I dunno about that. I grew up in a family of ES types, ESFJ mother, ESFP father, ESTJ sister, ESFJ brother, ESFP brother.

    I would put it a better way. ESFJ's have the capacity to steer people to better places, and have the capacity to get what they want. How they do that, as you rightly point out, is a matter of values and principles. Most times they do it right, and sometimes they hurt people. But I think if you are working with your values and your sense of right and wrong, then there is nothing wrong with using your capacity for the good of others. For example, a salesperson can see what is needed and sell it to them well, and have them walk away feeling good. ESFJ's are really good at that, in fact, the world's best. Yes, there are con artists but they are not necessarily ESFJ's and all ESFJ's are not con artists. That extrapolation does not hold true. Not in my experience.
    This, too. I don't think the capacity is purely for bad intentions--it can do a lot of good, too--just that it can be. They generally have the capacity to steer others to any of a number of directions; it's something else, such as a set of core principles, that determines the direction.

  3. #13
    Kickin' Ass since 1984 Array GargoylesLegacy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008


    Gee, welcome to the Forum! =)
    Nice Intro, Respect!
    Hope you'll enjoy your Stay!
    Rule #1: Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole.

    Again, Demons I get, but people are just crazy.

    ESTP? o.O

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