I wouldn't say "reliable" judgment, because that implies I think there's something objectively reliable or unreliable about it- and that's relative to individuals. I need something subjectively reliable to me, I need someone's judgment to make sense to me in order to get along with them well, to know communication won't be a constant uphill battle that takes more energy than it's worth. And yes, someone having different values can throw a wrench in communication/interaction. Often times we can isolate the way in which different values cause conflict, and simply avoid those kinds of situations with the person (and still interact well in the venues which sensibilities are compatible)- but with some people, there gets a point where there's just 'too much' that seems incompatible.So is that a direct connection for you: compatible values correlates to reliable judgement? Is compatible judgement something Fe users really look for?
I doubt highly this is something Fe users look for, as the more Fe someone is (and the less Pi- especially Ni- they are) the more they seem to be able to plow through such differences with aplomb. But other (people-oriented) Ni doms have expressed the importance of compatible judgment many times in this forum- so it's very likely a (people-oriented) Ni thing.
I feel compelled to clarify that by "compatible judgment", I don't mean "people will affirm everything I think is correct so that I don't have to change." I personally thrive on interaction that makes me reconsider things and fosters growth. It's one thing to present an idea/concept that you believe to be true, to listen to the antithesis presented in turn and to slowly arrive at some kind of synthesis together- and it's entirely another thing to present one's own truth and to get angry and coercive when the other person doesn't immediately co-opt it as their own truth. The former is incredibly stimulating- and that's what I see as 'compatible judgment', when someone's reasoning is such that extended disagreements can take place without any coercion, without anything that seems like emotional manipulation (and cross-type projection often causes rifts in this regard), just dialogue (thesis + antithesis = synthesis) that helps one or both people see something in a new light. But the latter- where someone tries to appeal to a kind of logic that I simply don't share, and they just crank up the volume on their own (ineffective) logic instead of actually listening- that's what I'd call incompatible judgment.
Yes to the first, and OMG I'm not touching that second question with a ten foot pole.Is this distinction between motivation and judgement significant to you? Do you feel that Fi users often wrongly conflate the two?
I kinda got a kick out of how VJ claimed that Fi moves away from people because of their values- because my own experience is that INFJs actually do this more than any other type, we distance people at the drop of a hat. I think we like having that kind of opposition in our purview- that we like to be able to observe it- so that we can slowly digest bits and pieces, picking and choosing what to moll over to see if there's any value in any of it for us personally. But actually interacting- where we can't effectively anticipate where something might potentially cause conflict, and we think potential (unforeseeable) conflict is very likely- that's difficult. We distance the people where we sense a conflict; because people are actually remarkably consistent- even if that consistency is a total lack of consistency. We distance ourselves from the source of distressing incoming information, and then process if from afar. But it seems like INFPs distance the incoming information itself? At least, that's what I gathered from @Seymour's post.What part does Fi do in the other direction?
[eta: Again, ^that's not Fe, that's (people-oriented) Ni. Whilst Fe/Fi may have influence in this, I think this difference is largely Pi vs. Ji.]
Of course, there's a point where it crosses over- enough distressing information will likely cause the distancing of the source for INFPs, but it takes longer in INFPs than in INFJs. I ascribe this (at least in part) to least Pe in INFJs and having less of a general tolerance for interacting directly with the external world in the first place- people only get one or two strikes (unlike the four or five strikes that Pe can give) before we back away into the shadows to process why something/someone is distressing.