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  1. #1
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Default Video: A Collection Of NF Consciousness: Romance, Soulmates, Intimacy, and Love

    • Mike, an ENFP, interviews a panel representing the entire range of NF consciousness about romance, soulmates, intimacy, and love. The panel consists of Josh, an ENFJ, Angela, an ENFP, Nick, an INFJ, and Tyler, an INFP.

  2. #2
    Senior citizen velveteen's Avatar
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    This reminds me of why I absolutely adore INFPs. I couldn't stand listening to the two ENFs though.

    Also I think that their views and opinions should be seen as a product of their culture rather than their types. It's extremely american and not very universal at all.

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    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Default Video: A Collection Of NF Consciousness: Romance, Soulmates, Intimacy, and Love

    Watching this through the INFP lens whilst eating lunch.

    I'm at the 11 minute point and I have yet to hear the INFP speak, and when he tries to speak, the others don't wait to let the thought complete itself. This seems to echo real life. I can feel he has stuff interiorly that he wants to share but is waiting for space to open up. He also doesn't have enough skill to take the floor and keep it, INFPs really have to learn to claim their moments. When I was this age, I'd be like Tyler waiting for a moment to get in there.

    ENFP Mike is a ineffective interviewer however because he fails to make that space and expand the floor for the less extroverted speakers.

    Now at the 17 minute mark, INFP has spoken for about 1 minute total.

    20 minute mark, I'm getting really bored listening to this. All of this talk seems unimportant. Not much substance. lol there's the whole Fi it's-all-about-my-story element coming through with the ENFP, and I get where she's coming from, why it's illustrative, but it's not connected to the room.

    22 minutes, Tyler is doing an INFP mediation/listening thing, drawing some concepts out of other people. Nick sure has that look of Ni dominance, processing whilst the conversation flows, coming out with something more "put together" when he does speak and I found it interesting how the E's both released the space to him a few times.

    Anyways, back to work. The E's sure can dominate!
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  4. #4
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    3 minutes in and i already hate josh.
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    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chickpea View Post
    3 minutes in and i already hate josh.
    I'm going to listen, so I can represent as an NF. I've been waffling, I hate the NF Geeks period, especially Mike.

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    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Hmmm, verdict... I got nothing much out of it, nor did I identify with anyone in particular, maybe because of the subject. It's not that the subject isn't potentially interesting, I think these specific discussions seem shallow or just maybe over covered in every medium we have. Needs more 4s, maybe if Tyler talked more.

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    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    ENFP Mike is a ineffective interviewer however because he fails to make that space and expand the floor for the less extroverted speakers.

    Now at the 17 minute mark, INFP has spoken for about 1 minute total.
    Yeah, I wanted to hear the INFP talk more. I think Mike asked good questions but he did not do a good enough job of getting the INFP to talk. The other ones contributed reasonably well. One simple thing would have been to put the INFP on the left and have him talk first. The video gets better as it goes on I think and the INFJ and ENFP have a chance to elaborate more.

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  8. #8
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by velveteen View Post
    Also I think that their views and opinions should be seen as a product of their culture rather than their types. It's extremely american and not very universal at all.
    I agree. My god, so American. The INFP exempt (and a handful of comments from the INFJ), the whole thing was like a brash performance and so affected it's cringe-worthy. I barely believed a word that came out of their mouths, nor did I find much meaning or insight out of their views.

    Other than the INFP, I just can't relate to them at all.



    More on topic: it was interesting for me in terms of INFP behaviour. I skimmed through all your comments before watching and based on what others were saying was thinking I wasn't going to relate to him. I can be quite talkative and outspoken in those sorts of discussions, and I don't see myself as usually kind of person to get railroaded. I'm very socially avoidant, but I'm only timid and reticent in company when I'm not engaged enough (for one reason or another) - engagement always trumps my fear or discomfort.

    However after watching the video, I thought if it were me I would be just as quiet as that INFP, because there just wasn't enough to engage my Ne; to spark my mind into gear and incite the desire to speak. Often I'm just busy listening, thinking things through, deciding if I agree or disagree or if what they're saying meshes with my experiences/observations, and generally waiting for Ne to really kick in, that sometimes I don't even realise how quiet I'm being. And because the thoughts in my head are just as loud and active as the conversation going on, I often forget others aren't hearing anything from my end. I think it may have been much the same with him. The discussion was so vague and lacking depth, it was only when specific and/or stimulating questions/points were raised, or there was something to vibe off that he spoke up. Even then, the things he expressed seemed to be more about showing empathy for and mirroring the others' tone, feelings and ideas, than expressing his own. It makes me think that I must come off like that a lot and that it would look like being railroaded or being shut off, when it's something else entirely.

    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Nick sure has that look of Ni dominance, processing whilst the conversation flows, coming out with something more "put together" when he does speak and I found it interesting how the E's both released the space to him a few times.
    Yes, I also observed that. He was by far the most orderly in how he spoke.
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    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

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    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Man, I've seen videos with Josh before, and I dislike him more every time I watch him. He thinks he's so priceless, but he just strikes me as obnoxious.

    I thought it was interesting that the INFP asked questions, as a way of getting involved. He seemed more on-point than Mike, as an interviewer.

    Nick made the most sense, even if I didn't necessarily like/agreed with what he said. Angela was an inoffensive speaker, but mostly blathered on about nothing. These people aren't very insightful or interesting.

    They all talked so much and said so little.

  10. #10
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    engagement always trumps my fear or discomfort.
    Agreed. (But you and I are social-dominant - I wonder if other INFPs would feel the same?)

    However after watching the video, I thought if it were me I would be just as quiet as that INFP, because there just wasn't enough to engage my Ne; to spark my mind into gear and incite the desire to speak.
    That's a good point. I think he alternated between wanting to speak yet finding no insertion point and "zoning out" (even though he was still listening) when it was clear that 1.) the extroverts dominated the floor and 2.) the stuff being discussed was insubstantial.

    Even then, the things he expressed seemed to be more about showing empathy for and mirroring the others' tone, feelings and ideas, than expressing his own. It makes me think that I must come off like that a lot and that it would look like being railroaded or being shut off, when it's something else entirely.
    Hmm yes, it is a "something else" - it looks from on the outside (as you say) being railroaded and shut-off, and that's a pressing point for me because what shows on the outside is what most people are judging on. "The squeaky wheel always gets the grease" - certainly there are times when circumstances leverage better to our strengths, but that kind of situation can be problematic. If one was viewing the video without a lens to the inner space, you might think the guy was either stupid, ineffective or just had nothing original to say, or worse, was withholding to be contrary, almost mocking. By extension, it unfortunately shows how INFPs are sometimes not regarded as someone to take into account or make space for - like, there's no consequence to not making space for us. When the INFJ spoke, it wasn't that the extroverts were engaged by his words, they made space and relinquished the floor. The body language of each turned more submissive, less dominant. It was as though they didn't dare butt in lol! That did not happen when the INFP spoke, perhaps because he's "nice" and doesn't appear pissed when he's interrupted (not that the INFJ appeared that way either, but I sense history there). It would have required a much more concentrated burst of Ne in that situation to grab some time anyway and as you say, there wasn't much to ping off.

    Anyway, just some thoughts. Learning how to create balance for ourselves as well as for others is an important skill. I can get so good at mediating I even forget what my opinion is and I really relish an opportunity to speak when the topic is interesting and I have something to say. I was a bit surprised the ENFP didn't try at least once to do that. Maybe the value is in seeing the dynamic play out like reality anyway.

    eta: I guess how I think in these situations is that I'm listening to everyone else, giving them the courtesy of my attention, and then politely waiting reciprocally for my turn to speak. This assumes that the others talking understand that they are the recipient of that energy and have a self-awareness that everyone "should" be heard, has an opinion, even if it's only to express they don't have much of an opinion on the topic atm. So, when the people you're talking with don't recognize that, or are too self-absorbed to "get" that, it can be disappointing. When in a group, I try to pay attention to everyone, and some people assume this is because they must be rivettingly interesting, but no, it's because I value hearing everyone speak and can focus even if very bored. This can occasionally lead to misunderstandings too.

    eta2: I seem to have a lot to say about this!
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
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    When people see some things as good,
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