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  1. #11
    Damn American Cowboy Reborn Relic's Avatar
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    I identify with this but I'm not INTJ, hah. Not sure about the taken advantage of bit though.

    I will say it's to some degree an image thing in my case, though. Like, I don't like just saying "yep" or "that sucks", which are the options I have in those situations, hah.
    "Speak softly and carry a big stick."

    --Theodore Roosevelt


    “Be careful, lest in casting out your demon you exorcise the best thing in you.”

    --Friedrich Nietzche

    I have a Johari again
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  2. #12
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I can see a lot of sensitivity in her. I also get a very strong sense that her cultural environment is very at odds with her natural self. She appears to be subjected to a great deal of conformity pressures. She has referred multiple times to "now I'm complaining". I don't hear any complaining, so I am assuming that someone in her environment tells her that as well. There is a weird dynamic I have seen socially - if you ever express that you care about being perceived as "nice" or you care about not being perceived as "cold", people will sometimes latch onto that and do exactly that to you. I think it is because people like to feel as though they make an impression, so if they think they can impact you emotionally, they will do it to feel significant or powerful themselves.

    I have seen people who feel cold, and in my perception she is very different from that. I suspect she is quiet and non-responsive when encountering an emotion or need in others because she described trying to analyze the situation first. Someone who is actually cold is not going to give it any thought or concern. Cold people are dismissive and dominating in the face of vulnerability.

  3. #13
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    • This is how one INTJ gets whens she feels misunderstood. Many times she is using my Te (extroverted thinking) to figure out what to do when someone is struggling emotionally or what have you. Fe is something that does not come naturally, but it is not that she don't care.
    Couldn't really pay attention to any of her points and arguments because I kept getting distracted by that prominently featured cat shitter in the background.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  4. #14
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by labyrinthine View Post
    I can see a lot of sensitivity in her. I also get a very strong sense that her cultural environment is very at odds with her natural self. She appears to be subjected to a great deal of conformity pressures. She has referred multiple times to "now I'm complaining". I don't hear any complaining, so I am assuming that someone in her environment tells her that as well. There is a weird dynamic I have seen socially - if you ever express that you care about being perceived as "nice" or you care about not being perceived as "cold", people will sometimes latch onto that and do exactly that to you. I think it is because people like to feel as though they make an impression, so if they think they can impact you emotionally, they will do it to feel significant or powerful themselves.
    I felt bad for her in this respect. She seems to be letting this get the better of her, catering to these folks sensitivies/manipulations at the expense of being herself. Somehow I managed to avoid that for the most part.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...
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  5. #15
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I felt bad for her in this respect. She seems to be letting this get the better of her, catering to these folks sensitivies/manipulations at the expense of being herself. Somehow I managed to avoid that for the most part.
    People who expect reciprocated interactions (that is reciprocation that they approve of & expect, right down to minute body language and movements) are some of the most dangerous to those who pay the least attention to them.

    We've had a series of complaints recently about the male staff in our retail store. And the pattern appears to be a kind of whinging (which our manager doesn't take seriously outside of a curiosity about who is sending them due to the same, fake, name being used) around the behaviour of our male staff members. Mainly these appear to be claims of rudeness or bluntness, or "turning their backs to the customers" which didn't make much sense since you have to turn around occasionally to get spirits or cigarettes off the shelf behind us. Otherwise I don't know what they are talking about as I, nor anyone else, has ever witnessed a staff member actively turning their back on a current customer with deliberate intent.

    From the pattern I observed the general claim was one of "an element of indifference or rudeness" but never a specific clarification about what that entails.

    It gives the impression of the type of person I outlined above, who will take exception to not being treated with some assumed generality of behaviour. Such people are the ones on whom the fullest of my sarcasms are turned.

    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  6. #16
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    • This is how one INTJ gets whens she feels misunderstood. Many times she is using my Te (extroverted thinking) to figure out what to do when someone is struggling emotionally or what have you. Fe is something that does not come naturally, but it is not that she don't care.
    I've always seen INTJs as kind of the "NF" of the NTs. I'm not sure why precisely, I guess I find that while I personally have emotions as well - being of a mammalian persuasion - I find that INTJs seem to me to be more driven and influenced by their emotions than most NTPs I know who rather use emotions as a 'perception' tool more often than a driver of action and one's perspectives.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE
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  7. #17
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I felt bad for her in this respect. She seems to be letting this get the better of her, catering to these folks sensitivies/manipulations at the expense of being herself. Somehow I managed to avoid that for the most part.
    She probably is experiencing more emotional vulnerability than the average INTJ, but she also seems rather young, and the people doing this may be quite significant like a mother or boyfriend. She may not be responding to general social pressures, but something more personal and focused.
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  8. #18

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    Finally, I get to see how the fabled INTJ talks in real life. That video goes down as being the first INTJ I have ever seen lol. I felt like I finally came face to face with a unicorn hahaha

    I was most interested in seeing it because I wanted to know if the perfectly manicured, textbook, scrupulously punctilious manner of speaking utilized most prominently by people such as @Coriolis , would carry over to real life. If it did, then that would really set one aside as markedly different from others haha.

    But from what I saw, she sounds just like everyone else, and doesn't seem 'especially different'. Maybe it would be more apparent through knowing her over the course of a more sustained period of time.

  9. #19
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    A former brother-in-law of mine was an INTJ and his demeanor was a bit robotic - he was pretty much lost to, and powerful inside, World of Warcraft. He stood very straight, wore button up shirts to work, had a slow, steady gaze, and never experienced anger.

    I would say that the girl in the video has a softer vibe than average for INTJ. Some I?TJs can have a strong, harsh vibe like Sheldon Cooper from "The Big Bang Theory" comedy, which is also different from my former brother in law.

    INTJs come in all rainbow flavors of blues, greys, and blacks.

  10. #20
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Despotic Ocelot View Post
    Finally, I get to see how the fabled INTJ talks in real life. That video goes down as being the first INTJ I have ever seen lol. I felt like I finally came face to face with a unicorn hahaha

    I was most interested in seeing it because I wanted to know if the perfectly manicured, textbook, scrupulously punctilious manner of speaking utilized most prominently by people such as @<a href="http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/members/9811.html" target="_blank">Coriolis</a> , would carry over to real life. If it did, then that would really set one aside as markedly different from others haha.

    But from what I saw, she sounds just like everyone else, and doesn't seem 'especially different'. Maybe it would be more apparent through knowing her over the course of a more sustained period of time.
    I find this person to be unusually timid and lacking in confidence for an INTJ. I don't disagree about her type, and think her manner is due to external influences in her personal life, as already discussed, that cause her to second-guess herself more than normal. IME the manner of speaking in the video below is more typical and closer to my own. (On the other hand, I could just be a special snowflake.)



    Whether this woman would stand out in a crowd depends strongly on the crowd. There are small clues that can add up, but you have to be looking for them and they are far from conclusive.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...
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