wrt my previous post, I think it is very hard for any P-type to appreciate the depth of J-type strategy, since P-types don't readily construct reality in that "if I do X, Y will happen" way. Likewise, to me it seems even harder for a J-type to be aware that P-types are not very strategic. That does not mean P-types aren't manipulative, but it does mean that P-type "strategy" typically doesn't go much farther than an in-the-moment manipulation. And since it's not well-thought-out, often causes trouble when those in the moment attempts to alter reality pile up.
So, to communicate with an INFJ you must especially be aware of the strategy behind every interaction because of Ni, that future-oriented function. Every word carries nuance and a desired affect, sometimes building to a very long-term outcome. And, if you want to build good rapport in environments where interaction is necessary (rather than friendship where people just "click") an ignorance of this is counter-productive.
eta: I should add what to do in these situations to foster a win-win. Sometimes a strategic vision is in your favor, but other times not and unfairly so. Maybe I'll put together a post on that.
Ni-types seem to listen when something pings their Ni. From my singular perspective, it seems that Ni takes something from in-the-moment and prepares to build a conclusion on it, that Ni-doms can feel pieces of a puzzle sliding together and focus in laser-sharp at those times for a certain length of time. To me, it feels uncomfortable because I do not know what conclusion is potentially being built. All of a sudden, I will sense a Je-judgment coming on, and this can feel limiting and uncomfortable.The comment about Ni and active listening is interesting. I am like @Ene. I am inconsistent with my listening skills on a moment by moment basis but when I really decide to listen, I am REALLY listening. Even when I am doing that, people would likely say that I'm not a great active listener because I don't do all those head nods and paraphrasing type of things to the extent that a really good active listener does. Nevertheless, I am paying extraordinary attention to what is being said. I do think Fi doms are supposed to be the best listeners.
Here's a quick example. Our new minister is almost certainly INTJ. His first awareness of me at church was fixing an IT problem, to which I was referred to as the IT Queen (and this phrase amused him). Now, I feel like all of our interactions revolve around IT issues, since that is measurably / objectively something I am now concluded to be "good" at. It does not seem to take into awareness of anything more, of who I am, or of other work I do. That's the kind of constriction I refer to.
Yes. Every word, every choice is intentional to affect the realm of people. INTJ's seem particularly unaware of that, no offense.I never thought about INFJs as being strategic but it makes sense. They are like INTJs in this way. They are just strategic about different kinds of things.