Video: Margaret Heffernan: Dare to disagree

[Eilonwy]

• Most people instinctively avoid conflict, but as Margaret Heffernan shows us, good disagreement is central to progress. She illustrates (sometimes counterintuitively) how the best partners aren't echo chambers -- and how great research teams, relationships and businesses allow people to deeply disagree.

 

[Eilonwy]

TED: Dare to Disagree

Most people instinctively avoid conflict, but as Margaret Heffernan shows us, good disagreement is central to progress. She illustrates (sometimes counterintuitively) how the best partners aren't echo chambers -- and how great research teams, relationships and businesses allow people to deeply disagree.

I like that she says that constructive conflict is a skill, that we need the proper tools and practice. The subject of disagreement, debate, and conflict comes up often here on the forum. Is there a level of skill here that keeps the conflicts constructive, in general? Is this a good place to find the proper tools and practice using them? What do you all think?

 

[yeghor]

I like that she says that constructive conflict is a skill, that we need the proper tools and practice. The subject of disagreement, debate, and conflict comes up often here on the forum. Is there a level of skill here that keeps the conflicts constructive, in general? Is this a good place to find the proper tools and practice using them? What do you all think?

I think constructive conflict is tied to assertiveness skills.

It requires an individual to be aware of his/her compulsions.

Assertive behaviour includes:

• Being open in expressing wishes, thoughts and feelings and encouraging others to do likewise.
• Listening to the views of others and responding appropriately, whether in agreement with those views or not.
• Accepting responsibilities and being able to delegate to others. (See our page, Delegation Skills for more).
• Regularly expressing appreciation of others for what they have done or are doing.
• Being able to admit to mistakes and apologise.
• Maintaining self-control.
• Behaving as an equal to others.

 

[highlander]

That was pretty good.

 

[Galena]

Clearly thought out, and delivered with fitting confidence!

Her point is that people are afraid of conflict because they don't feel they have the skills/know what they're doing. The surest way to get the skills is through organic experience, preferably when one is still maturing. Do you think at least some communities of people today are excessively shielded from conflict when they need to learn it most, to negative effect when they grow up and feel like it's foreign territory?