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[ISFP] Ask an ISFP!

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Since all the SJs have their own ask thread, figured I'd start the trend here too!
 

Grungemouse

Widdles in your cream.
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Messages
577
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
I read in one personality profile that unlike the other SP types, ISFPs "seek life-long monogamous relationships". To what extent is this a load of BS?

This isn't a snark against ISFPs. I'm just sceptical of the description's claim, if that makes sense. ;)
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I read in one personality profile that unlike the other SP types, ISFPs "seek life-long monogamous relationships". To what extent is this a load of BS?

It's not. That is something that I seek. I really wish that I could find something like that. I am only really attracted to relationship situations if I see them as working out in the long term; or if it's something purely casual and both me and her know it. But I'd prefer an LTR monogamous relationship. I can't imagine it being any other way.
 

Grungemouse

Widdles in your cream.
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Messages
577
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
It's not. That is something that I seek. I really wish that I could find something like that. I am only really attracted to relationship situations if I see them as working out in the long term; or if it's something purely casual and both me and her know it. But I'd prefer an LTR monogamous relationship. I can't imagine it being any other way.

Seriously? Wow. I mean, my attitudes are very much the same. I don't see the point in investing myself emotionally unless it's for the long run. I just thought the whole "live in the moment" attitude applied to all SP types. Unless that's a misconception. I remember my ISFP saying something like, "Now I know our relationship is still a new thing..." and this is probably my intuition reading too much into it, but it implies she sees us working long-term. I think. Ergh, I'm not going to dwell on it. Thanks for the input. :)
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Hey isfps: if you never freaking complain how are we supposed to tell when you're just avoiding conflict vs. genuinely not bothered?

I'm assuming it's a mix of both, probably more often the latter, but how do you tell the difference? Surely you must be bothered by some things? :huh:
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
Since all the SJs have their own ask thread, figured I'd start the trend here too!

This thread's been done before. In fact, I think YOU even started one before. Use the search function or something, sheesh!

There, Randomnity. I complained.

Sorta. :cheese:
 

Craft

Probably Most Brilliant
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
1,221
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
My ISFP mom keeps criticizing my rather "norm-conflicting" behaviors. How can I convince her to rationalize her beliefs?

She tells me to take a bath everyday. I say why? I tell her it's not important, I don't smell, I won't face people and I take a bath when I need to. She's very vehement about this. And there's so many more mundane issues that we tend to disagree in..ugh..the pain!
 

Tamske

Writing...
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
1,764
MBTI Type
ENTP
1) What does it take to get an ISFP out his/her "go with the flow" mode? If it succeeds, what can I expect from you?

2) Tell me why it's awesome to be an ISFP!
 

LeafAndSky

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2009
Messages
307
MBTI Type
ISFP
I read in one personality profile that unlike the other SP types, ISFPs "seek life-long monogamous relationships". To what extent is this a load of BS?

This isn't a snark against ISFPs. I'm just sceptical of the description's claim, if that makes sense. ;)


I'm somewhat skeptical also.

Next?
 

LeafAndSky

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2009
Messages
307
MBTI Type
ISFP
Hey isfps: if you never freaking complain how are we supposed to tell when you're just avoiding conflict vs. genuinely not bothered?

I'm assuming it's a mix of both, probably more often the latter, but how do you tell the difference? Surely you must be bothered by some things? :huh:


I complain. That is, I'll ask for change or compromise if I feel it's necessary or worthwhile. I tend to see both sides of things, or all sides of things, so don't get bothered easily. (Or maybe that just comes from raising two boys.)

Next?
 

LeafAndSky

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2009
Messages
307
MBTI Type
ISFP
My ISFP mom keeps criticizing my rather "norm-conflicting" behaviors. How can I convince her to rationalize her beliefs?

She tells me to take a bath everyday. I say why? I tell her it's not important, I don't smell, I won't face people and I take a bath when I need to. She's very vehement about this. And there's so many more mundane issues that we tend to disagree in..ugh..the pain!


"I won't face people"? What does that mean?

Next!
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx
I read in one personality profile that unlike the other SP types, ISFPs "seek life-long monogamous relationships". To what extent is this a load of BS?

I don't know how many ISFPs do that, but it makes sense to me. I am continually torn myself (maybe that's what the whole Fi/Se thing is) - I think I do desire a life-long relationship, but at the same time I don't want to be tied down and obligated to things. I want to experience the pleasures of life, including many different women, yet part of me believes that there is virtue in finding just one who is the right one in all aspects. It's a constant paradox.

Do you like cookies?

Yes.

Hey isfps: if you never freaking complain how are we supposed to tell when you're just avoiding conflict vs. genuinely not bothered?

I'm assuming it's a mix of both, probably more often the latter, but how do you tell the difference? Surely you must be bothered by some things? :huh:

I'm bothered by plenty of things. Most of them don't rise to the level of "big deal" to me, though. Even as words of complaint are leaving my mouth I usually am thinking something like "Whatever, though. It's not that big a deal, I've got a great life."

My ISFP mom keeps criticizing my rather "norm-conflicting" behaviors. How can I convince her to rationalize her beliefs?

She tells me to take a bath everyday. I say why? I tell her it's not important, I don't smell, I won't face people and I take a bath when I need to. She's very vehement about this. And there's so many more mundane issues that we tend to disagree in..ugh..the pain!

Why do you believe she is ISFP?

I would say "norm-conflicting" doesn't usually bother SPs too much. We specialize in messing with norms. ;)

But to answer your other questions, you'll likely never convince an SFP to rationalize anything. We are proudly irrational.

1) What does it take to get an ISFP out his/her "go with the flow" mode? If it succeeds, what can I expect from you?

Not sure I know what you mean here? Do you mean how to rile me up or what?

2) Tell me why it's awesome to be an ISFP!

Well, we've really got the best combination of traits when you think about it.

I - we're not all up in your face, we actually listen

S - we pay attention to our surroundings and are bottom-line

F - we're caring and compassionate, sympathetic and generous

P - we won't make you stick to regimens or schedules, we're adaptable

The awesomeness is pretty apparent, don't you think? :cool:
 

LeafAndSky

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2009
Messages
307
MBTI Type
ISFP
1) What does it take to get an ISFP out his/her "go with the flow" mode? If it succeeds, what can I expect from you?

2) Tell me why it's awesome to be an ISFP!


1) Why would you want to get someone out of "go with the flow" mode? Maybe instead, you could observe and learn. ;)

2) It's awesome to be any piece of the universe: ISFP, Uruguayan, asteroid, Scottish Deerhound puppy, or decaying macadamia branch.
 

Craft

Probably Most Brilliant
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
1,221
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I believe it's her Fi. It wants to "correct" me.
 

Tamske

Writing...
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
1,764
MBTI Type
ENTP
1) Why would you want to get someone out of "go with the flow" mode? Maybe instead, you could observe and learn. ;)
But observing isn't fun unless you're experimenting too :)

2) It's awesome to be any piece of the universe: ISFP, Uruguayan, asteroid, Scottish Deerhound puppy, or decaying macadamia branch.

I just wanted to get some reasons why you like being an ISFP rather than anything else.

Novel characters exist to get into problems and wrestling themselves out of it. I've got some great ESTJ main characters and villains, a good ESFJ villain, a mediocre ENFJ manipulator, a nice ISFJ sidekick...
and some boring ISFP backdrop characters. The main reason why I'm on this forum is my eternal quest to give my characters more depth and different personalities. So again, ISFPs, unless you want to stay a backdrop, tell me how I can get you out of it! :D
 

LeafAndSky

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2009
Messages
307
MBTI Type
ISFP
I just wanted to get some reasons why you like being an ISFP rather than anything else.

Novel characters exist to get into problems and wrestling themselves out of it. I've got some great ESTJ main characters and villains, a good ESFJ villain, a mediocre ENFJ manipulator, a nice ISFJ sidekick...
and some boring ISFP backdrop characters. The main reason why I'm on this forum is my eternal quest to give my characters more depth and different personalities. So again, ISFPs, unless you want to stay a backdrop, tell me how I can get you out of it! :D

Ha! I have a finished first draft novel in a drawer and several other writing projects ongoing now, fiction and nonfiction, plus experience with a critique group. I never used MBTI as a writing aid for creating characters, but it sounds effective.

I'll help.

Your ISFPs are full of surprises.

One of them plays or is learning a very unusual instrument. Another expresses creativity in small, unconventionally humorous ways during the day -- in dress, in a packed lunch, in gifts, in jokes. (Never using mean humor, though.)

An ISFP in your novel may be extremely easy to talk with, the best listener you ever met, so other characters are going to confide in that character. Maybe one of those other characters will even work through a major problem and find release -- grow -- just from finally, finally, in the ISFP's presence, being really heard and accepted.

And speaking of finding release, well, there's the sensuality aspect to play up, if it suits your plot. ;)

=====
an aside:

seen online in various places (I still have to double-check this one when writing, they overlap anyway I guess so I never quite know if I got it right):

sensuous/sensuousness vs. sensual/sensuality

sensuous implies gratification of the senses for the sake of aesthetic pleasure <the sensuous delights of great music>. sensual tends to imply the gratification of the senses or the indulgence of the physical appetites as ends in themselves <a life devoted to sensual pleasures>
=====

Anyway, what I meant above was, there's the (very possibly) good-in-bed part to play up -- or enthusiastic, positive, in-the-moment focus, which can translate to good-in-bed -- if it suits your plot. ;)

Your ISFPs may also be quietly stepping back and seeing a bigger picture than some. One may end up as leader in some unexpected way simply because of that trait; think of the good supervisors who aren't getting all wrapped up in OMG thinking and negativity but calmly addressing the needs of the situation.

Make one of them involved with herbs or essential oils. Throw in an unusual pet, beautiful in its own way. Make one of them spiritual if you want, perhaps unconventionally so, but it's not a surface thing with the character. For example, if you make an ISFP character a Wiccan or a self-identifying pantheist, or anything that suits the time and place of the story, do some of that ever-engrossing internet research and get the useful, nurturing, freeing aspects of that worldview into your novel.

If you need conflict with the character, try having someone attempt to stomp on the ISFP's basic human rights or try to change them, or more subtly, have someone expect that the ISFP's way of looking at things must match theirs.

Good luck with your writing endeavors and have fun!
 
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