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[ISTP] How do you Deal with Wanting to be Alone?

Joined
Aug 8, 2009
Messages
106
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Wasn't always like this, but do you, especially you ISTPs, all get that...weird rigor inside that just signals that it's time for some alone time? It's gotten to be a bigger problem for me somehow. In social settings, I'm comfortably solo most of all the time. After long periods of time spent with my best friend, I get more easily irritated (and unknowingly rude) as time goes by, and frequently when I get bored. I'd always shrug it off, and I wouldn't even know I'd done anything out of character sometimes. I'm honestly crazy about independence. If I don't have it or if I get caught in a regulated setting, I go nutzo...and weirdo...

This post isn't about me, though. Those seemed to be some characteristics of types like us. I wanna know if you guys identify at all with any feelings of autonomy, and describe how it shows itself with people you do and don't know.
 

poppy

triple nerd score
Joined
May 30, 2009
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2,215
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intj
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5
I'm not ISTP obviously, but I think the desire for down time is a given for most introverts, and introverted thinkers especially need time to themselves.

I usually realize that I need to get away from people and recharge when I start getting snappy and irritable. It's not too hard for me to get personal space though, since I live essentially alone most of the time.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
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I'm exactly like you. It gets steadily worse the more I'm exposed to people. I'm good for a few hours around people (by this I mean constant), but then I start to get that nagging feeling of wanting to escape. The only time it's not like this is when I'm around close friends, and my energy runs out with them MUCH slower (I had a birthday party and I got tired of being around them after 36 hours (including sleeping)). Like you, I tend to shrug it off and ignore it, but I do get out of character. Then after that stops working I just get downright rude, and my sense of what is socially appropriate just seems to disappear. I say what I feel like, and I'm generally rude and get mad very easily, and I'm snappy. This all the while the only thing I can really think of is "get alone now!".

This is definitely an introvert thing. This is a key thing about being an introvert.
 

millerm277

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2008
Messages
978
MBTI Type
ISTP
Yes, VERY strong in me. Luckily for me, I have a girlfriend that understands and is fine with it. Otherwise, I just always think ahead to give myself the ability to "get away" from everyone when I feel like it without making anyone else freak out about it.

EDIT: By this, I mean things like:

-I consciously picked a job that allows me to work alone a good portion/most of the time, but to work with others as I choose.
-At school, I do theater technical work, which means while sometimes I work closely with the director/other crew members, a lot of time I'm clipped into a harness up in 60ft high catwalks setting up lights, running cable and such.
 

ViCyniC

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Jul 26, 2009
Messages
48
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ISTP
Of course I get irritated. I would think that most introverts would feel the need to be alone after being around people. I don't even have to interact with other people to get annoyed after a while being in their presence. I probably acknowledge that I'm not that balanced, but I feel way more comfortable being alone in my own skin for longer periods of time than to be around people for shorter amounts of time. I need to work on it more.
 

Oom

Your time is gonna come.
Joined
Mar 29, 2009
Messages
510
MBTI Type
IsfP
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5w4
I'm exactly like you. It gets steadily worse the more I'm exposed to people. I'm good for a few hours around people (by this I mean constant), but then I start to get that nagging feeling of wanting to escape. The only time it's not like this is when I'm around close friends, and my energy runs out with them MUCH slower (I had a birthday party and I got tired of being around them after 36 hours (including sleeping)). Like you, I tend to shrug it off and ignore it, but I do get out of character. Then after that stops working I just get downright rude, and my sense of what is socially appropriate just seems to disappear. I say what I feel like, and I'm generally rude and get mad very easily, and I'm snappy. This all the while the only thing I can really think of is "get alone now!".

This is definitely an introvert thing. This is a key thing about being an introvert.

Very true for me also. I suppose it isn't just a type thing. I've physically driven a few people out of my house because they've overstayed their welcome. Seems like not getting what you "need" can get instincts to kick in and try to get the job done as fast as possible. So I drive people away with rudeness and it gets me what I need.

Fortunately this doesn't happen very often and I can usually abide by making people happy and myself too.
 

ViCyniC

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Messages
48
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I've physically driven a few people out of my house because they've overstayed their welcome.
LOL, I've done this too. Sometimes, though, it leaves a lasting impression. :(
 

BlackCat

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Very true for me also. I suppose it isn't just a type thing. I've physically driven a few people out of my house because they've overstayed their welcome. Seems like not getting what you "need" can get instincts to kick in and try to get the job done as fast as possible. So I drive people away with rudeness and it gets me what I need.

Fortunately this doesn't happen very often and I can usually abide by making people happy and myself too.

Same for me!
 
Joined
Aug 8, 2009
Messages
106
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INFJ
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4w3
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so/sx
EDIT: By this, I mean things like:

-I consciously picked a job that allows me to work alone a good portion/most of the time, but to work with others as I choose.
-At school, I do theater technical work, which means while sometimes I work closely with the director/other crew members, a lot of time I'm clipped into a harness up in 60ft high catwalks setting up lights, running cable and such.

Wow, i did that theater-type thing without even noticing how convenient it was.

Yeah, it's understandable all or most introverts act this way....*eye glances at new creepy smiley* uh...anyone seen this thing? I'm such a n00b... :nice:
 

Kingfisher

full of love
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May 24, 2009
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9w8
i was a lot more independant and a loner when i was younger, i would get more uneasy around people in the way you all are talking about. i had a lot of those moments of becoming very exasperated with people, very suddenly, like something had switched on and i suddenly couldn't be around people.

it has definitely mellowed a lot though, i do not mind being around people so much anymore. but for sure, i definitely still have moments where i want total isolation.
 

ilovetrannies

New member
Joined
May 13, 2009
Messages
83
MBTI Type
ISFP
Exactly. And extroverts just seem get pissed if you have to leave or can't even imagine the horror of going to a movie alone. :shock: It is just ridiculous. I have to have my alone time to chill or I will freak out.Seriously.
 

Unique

New member
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
1,702
The key to draining slower is not trying to concentrate on too many people at once, your Se can handle it for a while but you'll burn out fast

The other thing is not engaging people all the time. You will drain faster if you are constantly engaging them, maybe try and wait until an extravert engages you and then continue that way

By time the weekend rolls I'm usually very very charged as I don't really talk to people much at work not to mention the alcohol fueling my social time

This has all become subconscious to me but thats my process

You will also find that most people don't mind if you check out for a bit to have a mini recharge Ti/Ni for a deep thought sessh :p

The most common type is ISFJ so its a pretty common thing to see people do really
 

demimondaine

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Mar 26, 2008
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just a question: does anyone else find it very difficult to get out sentences right when they've socialized too much? my speech gets way more disorganized than usual. i'm practically slurring, which isn't so cute.

peppier people eye me with great suspicion and distaste.. :cry:
 

NewEra

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Joined
Dec 21, 2008
Messages
3,104
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I
Wasn't always like this, but do you, especially you ISTPs, all get that...weird rigor inside that just signals that it's time for some alone time? It's gotten to be a bigger problem for me somehow. In social settings, I'm comfortably solo most of all the time. After long periods of time spent with my best friend, I get more easily irritated (and unknowingly rude) as time goes by, and frequently when I get bored. I'd always shrug it off, and I wouldn't even know I'd done anything out of character sometimes. I'm honestly crazy about independence. If I don't have it or if I get caught in a regulated setting, I go nutzo...and weirdo...

This post isn't about me, though. Those seemed to be some characteristics of types like us. I wanna know if you guys identify at all with any feelings of autonomy, and describe how it shows itself with people you do and don't know.

I'm exactly like this, even though I'm not ISTP (last I checked).
 

LotsOfHeart

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
298
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INFJ
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I'm exactly like you. It gets steadily worse the more I'm exposed to people. I'm good for a few hours around people (by this I mean constant), but then I start to get that nagging feeling of wanting to escape. The only time it's not like this is when I'm around close friends, and my energy runs out with them MUCH slower (I had a birthday party and I got tired of being around them after 36 hours (including sleeping)). Like you, I tend to shrug it off and ignore it, but I do get out of character. Then after that stops working I just get downright rude, and my sense of what is socially appropriate just seems to disappear. I say what I feel like, and I'm generally rude and get mad very easily, and I'm snappy. This all the while the only thing I can really think of is "get alone now!".

This is definitely an introvert thing. This is a key thing about being an introvert.

+1.

I definitely feel like I need a great deal of alone time. I have been around people every night since Friday and it's really starting to get to me. Today I have not interacted with anyone and I'm totally okay with it. I could probably do it tomorrow and the day after if I felt like it. Actually, going a week without interaction with anyone except maybe my mom or a close friend is totally fine with me. I wish I didn't feel like this, but it's the way I am. That said, when the mood is right, I can be extremely social as well.

The way I deal with it, I guess, is just looking for alone time whenever possible. I find it pretty easily because whenever I'm not in an obligation I can do pretty much what I want. I just choose to spend a lot of that time without other people, although not all of it.
 

stellar renegade

PEST that STEPs on PETS
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,446
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ESTP
If I want alone time I usually find a way to venture off. I'm quite good at slipping away if I need to, I know the precise moments when people are off their guard or lose interest in the conversation or what to say to ease them into that transition.

I usually don't need alone time, though, except to either read or think about an issue that I need to sort out such as a complicated crush situation and my feelings regarding it. Otherwise I crave interaction with others like a drug, and when I don't get it I'm usually depressed.
 

Kra

Black Magic Buzzard
Joined
Jun 24, 2009
Messages
912
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INTJ
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4w5
It's definitely an introvert thing.

It's not so bad for me anymore, I've learned how to somewhat charge my introvert batteries in the middle of social events now. I just allow myself to recede to the back of the group's attention and observe. That observer mentality is the key to it. I'll just re-emerge when I'm charged up enough to continue.

Now... people that try to keep me in the group's attention sometimes get snapped at still.
 

stellar renegade

PEST that STEPs on PETS
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,446
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ESTP
I just realized, though, after thinking about what you said, that when people are off to themselves sometimes they don't want attention paid to them. They literally want to be left alone. It's hard as an extrovert to realize that, so please be patient when we try to engage you. Just tell us you prefer your aloneness for the time being and if we're reasonable we'll leave you alone.
 
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