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  1. #31
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    I've been in a few relationships with INTPs. Sex was good and we were intrigued with eachother in the beginning but it didn't last. I then met my ENFJ husband and that was better. However in the long term I'm not sure if that was the best match either. Although .. for the long term I don't know if any match would survive over another match. We've been married 23 years and not sure how much longer it will last.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie1962 View Post
    I've been in a few relationships with INTPs. Sex was good and we were intrigued with eachother in the beginning but it didn't last. I then met my ENFJ husband and that was better. However in the long term I'm not sure if that was the best match either. Although .. for the long term I don't know if any match would survive over another match. We've been married 23 years and not sure how much longer it will last.
    Sex with INTP will always be good, and frequent, lol...

    Do you recall why didn't it last?

    Agree that ENFJ is a good match in many ways. I find EJ exhausting but maybe the NF reminds them to leave you alone to be yourself.

    Again, in my earlier comments I specified that I was referring to INTP female and ISFP male because in the case of the ISFP I think gender makes a huge difference. Maybe in the INTP male as well, not sure.

    Thanks for your input! It is always great to hear from the actual type who was inside the relationship...male or female!!!

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    My last boyfriend was an ISFP. We got on well at first, but (for me) the relationship fizzled out pretty soon. Our face-to-face communication was poor for one thing. When it came to deciding on what to do when we went out, we could never decide because both of us "didn't mind" what the activity was going to be. And thanks to him, I now detest words of affirmation, and e-hugs.

    Honestly. The occasional "Wow, you're so awesome ^^ I'm soooo glad you're my girlfriend *hug*" was all very well, but saying it over and over with no justification soon became irritating. I sometimes wondered whether he had it on copy + paste.

    He was also too needy for me. I needed my space, and sometimes when I would forgot to take my phone with me when I went out I would return to 5+ text messages. When having an IM conversation, he would assume I didn't reply to any of them because of "something he did."

    So if you're an ISFP and wish to enter a relationship with an INTP, keep the compliments to a minimum and don't take it personally when you don't hear from them for a day (or more).

    Strangely though, I'm with an ISFJ now and we get on fine, despite the distance. Despite having almost completely different functions, we seem in-synch. It's strange, but lovely.


    Hmmm. I realize that this is an older post, but I feel compelled to respond. The person might well have had ISFP preferences internally, but he does not seem like any kind of a well adjusted ISFP. My girlfriend is the stereotypical ISFP. I would describe her, but in INTP fashion I would tend to do so in excruciating analytical detail. Her abhorrence for abstract theoretical discussion has heightened my awareness of my tendency to expound logically without regard to my audience....or anything really. She noted that I tend to be more focused on what I'm thinking about than those I'm talking to....anyhow. Read descriptions of ISFP....that's her. Dead on. She came from a good and stable family that allowed her to be herself. Your ex sounds like an imbalanced ISTP, or an they are far more likely to try plug and play methods of communicating affection, or anything for that matter. The obsessive texting and so on sounds like insecurity rooted in his experiences rather than tendencies brought about by preference. Let's try to remember that type is not personality. The way we process, prioritize, and express information certainly plays a vital role in shaping our personalities, but experiences...(and in his case possible chemical imbalances ?) can cause specific types to seem like very different people.

    My mother studies the MBTI while earning her EdD in Teacher Education and Curriculum development, so I've been forced to ponder type indicators by constantly being subjected to them. I've learned, among other things, that if you are an N with an S partner, you have to understand that they will never see you the way you want them to. Sensing and intuition are so different....
    My girlfriend and I have a strange relationship in most people's eyes. It works because I am intensely fascinated with her inner world, which is difficult at best to to gain access to, because I'm intensely loyal, and because I've learned to give her the space to be who and what she wants to be, no matter how illogical it seems. I'm not a J, so I need no real convention in like. She hears the beat of her own drum.....and I like to watch..and facilitate her whims. We are both very principled people, and I think we like that about one another.

    She and I both have our own little worlds. It was difficult at first to get her to see mine for what it is, but she has, and we give one another space. My mother did a lot when I was a kid to prevent me from being aloof 100 percent of the time. That helps. Anyhow, ISFP and INTP has not been completely easy..she does not communicate much at all, and I communicate in streams of abstract analysis...but I'm conscious of myself, and try not to impose. It takes a lot of patience....I know she has to have a lot with me...all my theorizing, and thinking about holographic physics and political theory while forgetting to tie my shoes and losing everything I own by blanking out and setting things down....she notices. She's learned not to judge me for that. I had to learn to laugh at myself so that she could laugh about those things. I take myself too seriously, and she could not deal with that, so I let her give me guff when she wants to. We have our struggles...but she is a wonderful person, brilliant, gentle, very reserved...and fascinating. She's a puzzle, and I like that. Oh.....and ISFP's do not naturally pay many compliments...to themselves or others. They do so with actions is they do. Your feller was off kilter.

    In reading your response.....I wonder if you are INTP. Impossible to tell with so little information, but your lack of careful analysis makes me wonder.....that...and how does an ISFJ Forgive you abstractions? Seems like he'd spend a lot of time ignoring you.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by jesmith09 View Post
    In reading your response.....I wonder if you are INTP. Impossible to tell with so little information, but your lack of careful analysis makes me wonder.....that...and how does an ISFJ Forgive you abstractions? Seems like he'd spend a lot of time ignoring you.

    Firstly, she's a girl. Secondly, we've broken up now. But that's irrelevant.

    The other part didn't make any sense whatsoever ("forgive you abstractions"), so could you clarify that? Were you refering to the distance? I meant in a physical sense; we live 80 miles apart. You sound annoyed, which is baffling. My feelings for this post have admittedly died with it, so I have to be honest and say I don't have it in me to read your response in-depth.

    "Lack of careful analysis"? Er, this is relationships we're talking about. Besides, it is possible to be INTP and have poorly developed Ti. I'm rubbish at Science, IT and Maths. Although I have been doubting my type as of late. Partly genuine doubt, but also because I'm bored and want to look elsewhere.

  5. #35
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    [QUOTE=Mo;379019] And then I started getting told I have a beautiful smile and it all fell into place.

    I'll never forget what my 11th grade english teacher wrote in my yearbook: "your smile is contagious, I wish I'd catch it". I think it's my best quality.

    I have had a few relationships with INTPs in my lifetime. I feel very comfortable around them. I know I wasn't intellectually stimulating for them, but they seemed to like me for some reason.

  6. #36

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    I've been married to a fiery ISFP woman for eight years. Much of what I've read suggests this is a terrible match, but I can't imagine being with anyone else at this point.

    I will admit that communication (or lack thereof) is probably the biggest hurdle to overcome, at least in my own experience. And yes, sometimes "I love you" is said to the point of becoming a meaningless, empty platitude to me. The way I see it (and I've read this is common for many NTs), it shouldn't need to be said repeatedly if one already feels it. The problem for me is showing my love in a manner that won't seem forced or insincere. If someone feels the need to constantly say, "I love you," then it starts to seem to me as if they are having doubts and need to hear it enough to convince themselves that they're still feeling it.

    One of my biggest relationship pet peeves is when my S.O. repeatedly needs to ask, "do you love me?" Bitch, if I didn't, I'd already be gone.

    Still, in many ways, it is a perfect match. So many differences, yet we are quite similar in a lot of ways. We compliment one another with our respective strengths while simultaneously making up for one another's weaknesses.
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