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  1. #1
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    Default Confusing ISFP guy...

    Okay so me and this guy (ISFP) had a non-confirmed relationship over the summer which only lasted for two weeks. We went to this summer camp and he was playfully teasing me at first but then he became more affectionate as the days went by. Whenever we sat down, he squeezed my knee and thigh and would be so close to me until our sides were touching. When we came home from camp, he began messaging me every day up to three times day, sometimes even just to say goodnight and would share very personal things about himself to me. He also asked me out on a date to see a film. Whenever we met up, he would stare at me intently for what seemed like minutes and would try and touch me as much as he possibly could. After about 4 days, I started to fall for him. We had so much in common and the connection was amazing. Suddenly, after two weeks he stopped messaging me and about 3 days after stopping he sent me a message saying:
    -he didn’t have any feelings for me at all beyond friendship
    -he doesn’t want a relationship with me
    -our friendship won’t be as strong because we’re at different locations and he needs to see and interact with people to connect with them
    -he wants to chat every now and then but just be friends because he still thinks I’m a great person and he enjoys conversing with me
    I was hurt so I stopped talking to him (he said he thought that would be the best thing to do). 2 weeks later I ended up living in the same town he was living in as we were both going to university but we went to different ones. However, we weren’t in contact for 3 months until he saw me at church and he tried to be as close to me as possible in whatever room I was in until he asked me how I was. In fact, he asked me loads of questions about myself and shared some of what is going on in his life too. I took this as a good sign that we could be friends again so I added him as a friend on Facebook but he declined.
    So my questions:
    1. Did he have feelings for me? Is what he did a typical ISFP response when expressing affection?
    2. Can an ISFP’s mind about how they feel towards someone change so quickly?
    3. Is there any chance he could still be into me? Or should I just give up and move on?
    4. Why would he decline my friend request if he said he wanted to be friends? As far as I know, he’s never opened up to anyone but me and his family so surely I was an okay friend?

  2. #2
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    To me it sounds like he wants to be friends or friends with benefits but not publicly. He might be telling you what you want to hear to your face but have a different agenda in mind. That or he can't make up his mind whether he really likes you or not. Either way, I wouldn't waste my time with him if it were me.

  3. #3
    Member Gypsy-Flux's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by complexa46 View Post
    2. Can an ISFP’s mind about how they feel towards someone change so quickly?
    For me personally I can say that my feelings do change drastically for someone, I'm aware of this. It can be for instance because I sometimes perceive (perhaps wrongly) that the other person doesn't feel as strongly towards me as I feel towards them; it can also be for any other number of stupid reasons.

    Quote Originally Posted by complexa46 View Post
    4. Why would he decline my friend request if he said he wanted to be friends? As far as I know, he’s never opened up to anyone but me and his family so surely I was an okay friend?
    I dunno, maybe, because of uncertainty, he doesn't want to be hurt, that's my guess...
    "The temple is holy because it is not for sale" - Pound

  4. #4
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gypsy-Flux View Post
    For me personally I can say that my feelings do change drastically for someone, I'm aware of this. It can be for instance because I sometimes perceive (perhaps wrongly) that the other person doesn't feel as strongly towards me as I feel towards them; it can also be for any other number of stupid reasons.
    This is 100% what I would think too. I will give up on someone if they don't return the affection, I feel like I'm bothering them and they aren't interested. In my personal relations, I like seeing concrete results. I like knowing that I'm making an impact, that tells me that I matter to the person in some way.

    This guy however is for sure sending mixed signals. He could have found someone else he was more interested in, but wanted to avoid conflict and not tell you. It sounds like he was showing a lot of affection up front and you weren't sure how to react at first. Perhaps he wanted to be intimate way quicker than you were ready to be (which is 100% fine, don't let anyone tell you differently), and that may have made him disappointed.

    He was not communicating very well with you, and I don't think handled the situation the way he should have. It's really confusing that he was all for you for you and then just cut you off. Sounds like he was just going with the flow in the situation and had no intentions for the future at all, he just wanted the attention. I've known ISFP males who will act this way toward women just to flirt. All I can think is that he was wanting to move much faster but didn't communicate that at all.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  5. #5
    I wanna fcken feel right Numbly Aware's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by complexa46 View Post
    Okay so me and this guy (ISFP)
    How do you know he's ISFP?
    blesshad a non-confirmed relationship over the summer which only lasted for two weeks. We went to this summer camp and he was playfully teasing me at first but then he became more affectionate as the days went by. Whenever we sat down, he squeezed my knee and thigh and would be so close to me until our sides were touching. When we came home from camp, he began messaging me every day up to three times day, sometimes even just to say goodnight and would share very personal things about himself to me. He also asked me out on a date to see a film. Whenever we met up, he would stare at me intently for what seemed like minutes and would try and touch me as much as he possibly could. After about 4 days, I started to fall for him. We had so much in common and the connection was amazing. Suddenly, after two weeks he stopped messaging me and about 3 days after stopping he sent me a message saying:
    -he didn’t have any feelings for me at all beyond friendship
    -he doesn’t want a relationship with mebless
    -our friendship won’t be as strong because we’re at different locations and he needs to see and interact with people to connect with them
    -he wants to chat every now and then but just be friends because he still thinks I’m a great person and he enjoys conversing with me
    I was hurt so I stopped talking to him (he said he thought that would be the best thing to do). 2 weeks later I ended up living in the same town he was living in as we were both going to university but we went to different ones. However, we weren’t in contact for 3 months until he saw me at church and he tried to be as close to me as possible in whatever room I was in until he asked me how I was. In fact, he asked me loads of questions about myself and shared some of what is going on in his life too. I took this as a good sign that we could be friends again so I added him as a friend on Facebook but he declined.bless
    So my questions:
    1. Did he have feelings for me? Is what he did a typical ISFP response when expressing affection?
    2. Can an ISFP’s mind about how they feel towards someone change so quickly?
    3. Is there any chance he could still be into me? Or should I just give up and move on?bless
    4. Why would he decline my friend request if he said he wanted to be friends? As far as I know, he’s never opened up to anyone but me and his family so surely I was an okay friend?
    ....could be INxJ
    Its too damn late to cry. -Cruel Youth

  6. #6
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by complexa46 View Post
    Okay so me and this guy (ISFP) had a non-confirmed relationship over the summer which only lasted for two weeks.
    Really?

    1. Did he have feelings for me? Is what he did a typical ISFP response when expressing affection?
    -he didn’t have any feelings for me at all beyond friendship

    2. Can an ISFP’s mind about how they feel towards someone change so quickly?
    Yes. Any type can.

    3. Is there any chance he could still be into me? Or should I just give up and move on?
    -he doesn’t want a relationship with me

    4. Why would he decline my friend request if he said he wanted to be friends? As far as I know, he’s never opened up to anyone but me and his family so surely I was an okay friend?
    No means no. Move on.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  7. #7
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    I would move on. He made it clear he doesn't want a relationship. It's hard to not fall into the temptation of thinking about every little secret meaning, but your time is better spent getting to know other people and moving on with your life. I had a guy do this to me since I was 15 (the mixed signal crap) and I just cut him out of my life 2 years ago. If someone really likes you they generally aren't going to give you mixed signals, refuse to add you on Facebook and/or tell you they just want to be friends.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.
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