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  1. #1
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    Default The Mating Ritual of the ISTP

    As an INTP girl interested in an ISTP guy, I am in need of some help, especially in dissecting and analyzing this unusual ritual that I must partake in in order to further study this fascinating creature. He outwitted me so suffice to say I am hooked but confused as to how to go about it.

    What signs or indication do you guys give to show that you are at least interested in someone new? Especially someone who is not a Feeler?

    My situation: -

    I have laid out some bait; knowing that the Se is strong with this type of unusual animal, I have lightly dusted my traps with promises of fishing, hiking or off-roading. None of the baits were taken. Like the fruitless Wile E. Coyote I went back to the drawing board.

    He is the brother of a newish friend and thus I have little access and time to study his habits and temperament, with brief glimpses allowed whenever I came over (5x now). His brother has noted that the usually quiet and skittish ISTP had actually come out of his cave and graced us with his presence for longer than he usually does. While ISTP is usually quiet and leaves within an hour or so, he has stayed for hours on end with us when I'm around, all the while the both of us talked endlessly while two other friends idled away on their phones.

    Still, the creature is skittish despite his masculine demeanor and confidence. While he talks his eyes are glued to mine, or look to me when he wishes to confirm a statement or joke - but when idle he looks anywhere but at me. No sneaky darting looks. No long quiet gazes that is common in this breed of MBTI.

    He has not asked for my number nor will he while his brother is around. I have not asked for his, nor will I when I have no practical reason to (since he didn't take the bait for outings.) I am at a loss. Advise me and quickly, for the jungle is dark and his eyes draw me in.
    Last edited by Lamia; 02-19-2015 at 10:32 AM. Reason: Grammar
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  2. #2
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    next time you're chatting with him get his number. Like, a friend has tickets to such and such and might have an extra one. If he expresses interest then just say, lemme get your number and I'll text you when I know for sure the info.

    Or whatever. But you just have to bite the bullet and do something to open up lines of communication on your terms rather than by chance meetings.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance
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  3. #3
    Senior Member Dannik's Avatar
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    How do you know he is an ISTP?


    as an ISTP guy, my standard-operating-procedure is to be sweet and quiet and look longingly and ineffectually, and wait for her to make ALL THE MOVES.
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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dannik View Post
    How do you know he is an ISTP?


    as an ISTP guy, my standard-operating-procedure is to be sweet and quiet and look longingly and ineffectually, and wait for her to make ALL THE MOVES.
    I kinda relate, but not completely. I am not forceful which requires the other person to have to initiate. I don't know if its istp, but unless I know I am wanted I will disappear. Doesn't hurt my feelings or anything. But I do require a good amount of initiation at first. If I respond and don't disappear its a good thing. If I disappear I am distancing myself. That may just be me though. I don't do good at chasing someone, I will walk off. If you don't follow then there will be a distance and never get close.

    Quick and easy way that works with me is physical closeness. Sit on my lap, touch, etc. Doesn't have to be sexual, but it shifts me into a different mindset.
    Im out, its been fun
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  5. #5
    Senior Member great_bay's Avatar
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    It depends on the individual. My ISTP relative is upbeat and is kinda of a party boy. He would flirt by acting silly. My other ISTP relative is incredibly quiet as a mouse and wouldn't flirt the same way.
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  6. #6
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    My apologies for getting back to you guys so late. I had to travel then got busy with a project for work (that I am still working on but hey, we all need breaks!) Thanks for the replies so far, they are a great help!

    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    next time you're chatting with him get his number. Like, a friend has tickets to such and such and might have an extra one. If he expresses interest then just say, lemme get your number and I'll text you when I know for sure the info.

    Or whatever. But you just have to bite the bullet and do something to open up lines of communication on your terms rather than by chance meetings.
    I did get his number from a friend since he knows a few things that would help out with my current project.

    I texted him and asked him for help, he told me he was busy this weekend but if its cool he should be free next weekend. I told him the info I needed. He said he'd check when he can and that it was no problem, consider it his duty.

    When I didn't get the info (I needed it before the weekend but I neglected to mention that) I texted him again the next day and asked. He told me he forgot then messaged me the info. I thanked him with a joke, he said no prob and...that's it. Radio silence since then. Fair enough he said he would be busy but I have this niggling feeling he won't remember next weekend either if he didn't remember the info before. In which case you'd see that as disinterest, correct?


    Quote Originally Posted by Poki View Post
    I kinda relate, but not completely. I am not forceful which requires the other person to have to initiate. I don't know if its istp, but unless I know I am wanted I will disappear. Doesn't hurt my feelings or anything. But I do require a good amount of initiation at first. If I respond and don't disappear its a good thing. If I disappear I am distancing myself. That may just be me though. I don't do good at chasing someone, I will walk off. If you don't follow then there will be a distance and never get close.

    Quick and easy way that works with me is physical closeness. Sit on my lap, touch, etc. Doesn't have to be sexual, but it shifts me into a different mindset.
    Hmm, I haven't touched him much, just when passing things. I only see him when he is around his brother so that kind of puts a damper on things. His brother did mention that ISTP is shy when it comes to girls (though he seems pretty confident to me) and rarely initiates; but then again I doubt the brothers actually talk about relationships much. ISTP has had female friends as well as exes so I know he isn't girl shy in general. They asked him about me and he said he was interested in getting to know me.

    I will try to ramp up the touching a bit more but as an introvert I also have a bit of a boundaries/touch issue. Hell I am surprised I am initiating this much myself.

    If you forget a favor to a girl it means your interest is passive though, correct?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by great_bay View Post
    It depends on the individual. My ISTP relative is upbeat and is kinda of a party boy. He would flirt by acting silly. My other ISTP relative is incredibly quiet as a mouse and wouldn't flirt the same way.
    How would the quiet guy flirt? Or not flirt at all?

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dannik View Post
    How do you know he is an ISTP?


    as an ISTP guy, my standard-operating-procedure is to be sweet and quiet and look longingly and ineffectually, and wait for her to make ALL THE MOVES.
    Why I made him take the test of course! Easy and straight forward. He thought it didn't fit at first but when I further asked him questions at a later date, well it confirmed my theory.

    So your mating ritual is to play dead until she comes sniffing over? If she had your number and messaged you for a practical purpose, would you take it as a hint to keep talking to her after the purpose is done?

  8. #8
    Senior Member great_bay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lamia View Post
    My apologies for getting back to you guys so late. I had to travel then got busy with a project for work (that I am still working on but hey, we all need breaks!) Thanks for the replies so far, they are a great help!



    I did get his number from a friend since he knows a few things that would help out with my current project.

    I texted him and asked him for help, he told me he was busy this weekend but if its cool he should be free next weekend. I told him the info I needed. He said he'd check when he can and that it was no problem, consider it his duty.

    When I didn't get the info (I needed it before the weekend but I neglected to mention that) I texted him again the next day and asked. He told me he forgot then messaged me the info. I thanked him with a joke, he said no prob and...that's it. Radio silence since then. Fair enough he said he would be busy but I have this niggling feeling he won't remember next weekend either if he didn't remember the info before. In which case you'd see that as disinterest, correct?




    Hmm, I haven't touched him much, just when passing things. I only see him when he is around his brother so that kind of puts a damper on things. His brother did mention that ISTP is shy when it comes to girls (though he seems pretty confident to me) and rarely initiates; but then again I doubt the brothers actually talk about relationships much. ISTP has had female friends as well as exes so I know he isn't girl shy in general. They asked him about me and he said he was interested in getting to know me.

    I will try to ramp up the touching a bit more but as an introvert I also have a bit of a boundaries/touch issue. Hell I am surprised I am initiating this much myself.

    If you forget a favor to a girl it means your interest is passive though, correct?

    - - - Updated - - -



    How would the quiet guy flirt? Or not flirt at all?
    My ISTP relative wouldn't flirt. He's quiet.
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  9. #9
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lamia View Post
    Fair enough he said he would be busy but I have this niggling feeling he won't remember next weekend either if he didn't remember the info before. In which case you'd see that as disinterest, correct?
    Not necessarily. More like he gave you what you asked for. i wouldn't waste time reading into small things like that because even our closest friends can think or feel like we aren't giving them enough attention. It happens to me all the time. Weeks can go by without us talking and for me it doesn't denote a lack of affection AT ALL!

    To them, they can get hurt pretty easily, I guess? I dunno. All I know is when I do talk to them I get the "you never call" sort of deal before having to "yeah, I know" them to death and then we resume convo like normal.

    I mean, these are people I really like and are familiar with.
    So, if you're interested just call him up and ask him out. Skip the long, slow hinting process. It'll wear you down before us. Lol
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Dannik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lamia View Post
    So your mating ritual is to play dead until she comes sniffing over?
    Not intentionally. It is more that I am obtuse to flirtation, oblivious to most signals.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lamia View Post
    If she had your number and messaged you for a practical purpose, would you take it as a hint to keep talking to her after the purpose is done?
    No, I would assume the practical purpose was the only reason for coming over.


    I find that physical touch is the best indicator of romantic or sexual interest,
    I generally do not realize anyone is interested in me until they start to make intentional physical contact.
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