User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 13

  1. #1
    Junior Member spacecadette's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    9

    Default Older ISTPs being a good match for an INFP?

    My boyfriend and I have 26 years between us. We are different in a lot of ways but at the same time we both feel very comfortable with each other, like "home". Our personalities really balance out. We're soul mates, basically, that's how it seems, and he uses that term himself despite being a very down-to-earth ISTP. I'm an INFP, though I'm pretty much 50/50 between S and N, so the ISFP description fits me pretty well too.

    Recently, he took the MBTI and came out as ISTP (slightly Introverted, moderately Sensing, very expressed Thinking, slightly Perceiving). It fits him really well but some parts of it are a bit disconcerting.

    I've always been an "old soul" and I tend to feel old with guys my own age or even a little bit older than me but at the same time I am very much a kid (the classic INFP personality I guess). He's the same way, not jaded like most older people, and very youthful at the same time in his being very genuine like me but he is responsible and very calm and relaxed about life, except when it comes to his duties, so he is mature.

    I just want to know from any ISTPs and anyone who has any experiences with older ISTPs and whether you thought that with age, they become more philosophical, tender, etc. I know ISTP is supposed to be an "Enigma" for iNFP and vice-versa, but he really isn't. He says he can read me like a book (but then I don't like to argue with him so I don't try and make it tough for him) and communication tends only to break down whenever we have to be apart for long periods of time, especially when we can't just ring one another up and email/texting is the only option (I know, texting's rarely a good option)

    I wonder if maybe, as ISTPs age, they become more open to the world of possibilities and more in touch with their spiritual path. I've asked him what he was like when he was younger, if he was much different. He said he was probably more sure of himself, more aggressive, (more of a total dick I guess :-P ), and more spontaneous.

  2. #2
    Senior Member "?"'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    TiSe
    Posts
    1,167

    Default

    I have mellowed out a lot since my college days. I think the spirtuality is necessary for ISTPs. In fact there are facts to show that ISTPs with INFJs are two of the top three types that need spirituality. Contrary to belief Se does not come easy for ISTPs anymore than all types using their auxiliary. It has to be developed otherwise Ti will be constantly used and the Se used defensively. Becoming open to the world is Se at it's finest for ISTPs. BTW there is an old rule of thumb that the best mate for a male is someone half their age plus seven years. So your 26 years could be idea if you are older.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    671

    Default

    BTW there is an old rule of thumb that the best mate for a male is someone half their age plus seven years
    Hmm...I wonder if a male or female came up with that one?

    I will say that I've become more spiritual (actually it's one of my current big interests). Philosophical, what's that? haha - like sitting around and discussing philosophy? no, but I will discuss specific issues. Tender? No. I'm just not very outgoing about my feelings even though I feel it on the inside (maybe). But then I married an ENTJ who has less tenderness than me!

  4. #4
    heart on fire
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    8,457

    Default

    If things are working for you and you are happy, why worry about what others think?

  5. #5
    Branded with Satan murkrow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    1,635

    Default

    Why did I open an SP post...
    wails from the crypt.

  6. #6
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Enneagram
    7w6 sx
    Socionics
    SEE Fi
    Posts
    6,727

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by murkrow View Post
    Why did I open an SP post...
    Because we're awesome.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

    "I like the sigs with quotes in them from other forum members." -- Oberon

    The SP Spazz Youtube Channel

  7. #7
    Junior Member spacecadette's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    If things are working for you and you are happy, why worry about what others think?
    Oh, because it's long distance at the moment (I had to leave his country as my visa ran out) and will have to be for a few years. So there's a bit of insecurity there just because of that.

  8. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    istp
    Posts
    68

    Default

    Did you have a bad father relationship when you were young or lack a father relationship?

  9. #9
    Junior Member spacecadette's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by istpunk View Post
    Did you have a bad father relationship when you were young or lack a father relationship?
    haha, I know that's probably what all the resident psychologists would be thinking. But no, my Dad and I always got along great and bonded and still do to today. Paul is nothing like my father except for the traits I admire in him most, his sense of duty and his all around good soul, and his calmness. The similarities stop there though. Paul and I have an intense sexual connection where for once I feel on the same wavelength oddly enough.

    Anyway, this isn't totally about my relationship.. I did kind of want to talk about the subject of INFP vs. ISTP relationships, not age gaps, and not mine specifically really.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    446

    Default

    ISTPs really open up and show their love when they trust that their mate accepts them and isn't expecting more from them than they WANT to give at the moment. Having open options and a sense of independence is what is most important to them. They are also drawn to people with integrity and courage. They aren't as romantic as other types but show their love through acts of service.

    They also do seem to get more spiritual and questing for truth as they get older. My ISTP just brought home Terry Gilliam's The Adventures of Baron Von Munchhausen . . . which was a surprise to me. Now lets see if he'll actually sit through it!

Similar Threads

  1. Would we be a good match?
    By nonchalant in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-23-2015, 06:08 PM
  2. What is the perfect match for an INFJ?
    By clover45 in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 04-30-2011, 08:47 PM
  3. Would you be willing to work for an organisation that..
    By Octarine in forum Academics and Careers
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 01-16-2011, 11:03 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO