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[ESTP] Specifically, male INFJ and female ESTP dynamic.

BlackDog

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I am a male INFJ who comes from a very ESTP family, both male and female members. My family is fiercely independent and individualistic.

In theory, the ESTP is the dominant personality, and I would agree, but at the same time, I want to be the dominant partner. However, I don't think I could sustain a position like that with an ESTP; they are simply too big to be contained, and they are meant to be the dominant partner, I think.

Besides that, I think the overall outlook of each is vastly different.

I would be interested in the opinions of any ESTPs on the forum, or INFJs, or anyone who has something to contribute. I might have made this thread before, so sorry if I did.
 

Doctor Cringelord

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I think there would be potential for an equal balance of power in a INFJ-ESTP pairing. Both can be very dominant and manipulative, albeit in very different manners.
 

BlackDog

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I think there would be potential for an equal balance of power in a INFJ-ESTP pairing. Both can be very dominant and manipulative, albeit in very different manners.

How can INFJ be a dominating type? I know I struggle for control without appearing to do so in all my relationships, velvet glove over an iron hand, so to speak, but I consider myself to have very few natural advantages in the struggle. Pretty much just willpower. People won't just automatically listen to me.
 

Amargith

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Instead of thinking of it as dominating, think of it as team work. Use an ESTP's natural ability to be the weapon and blast obstacles out of this world, while you provide the aim with your Ni-vision. Play to your - and her - strengths.

As an ENFP, I'm not exactly known as the dominant type either, yet when I don't bother to reign myself in, plenty of people tell me they're intimidated when I go all out or consider me a dominant personality at the very least. However, I lead through cheerleading; I collect those that are competent at the tasks I need done and inspire them to do what they do best - in all of our interests. That's my style of 'leadership'; of 'dominating'.

Iow, make it your own.
 

infinite

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Instead of thinking of it as dominating, think of it as team work. Use an ESTP's natural ability to be the weapon and blast obstacles out of this world, while you provide the aim with your Ni-vision. Play to your - and her - strengths.

So how do you (general "you") make an ESTP actually want this aim provided by the Ni-vision? If you can, elaborate please? Is it like the cheerleading stuff you do or something else? Example would be nice :)
 

Amargith

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So how do you (general "you") make an ESTP actually want this aim provided by the Ni-vision? If you can, elaborate please? Is it like the cheerleading stuff you do or something else? Example would be nice :)

I guess you could call it that :shrug:

I just find that they excell at being in the moment and relish a partner who gives them new ideas and challenges as the future manifests itself. An Ni dom would likely tap into and bolster their inferior, helping it express its represses desires, id imagine.

In short, most stps i know love gaming the system and having an Ni dom in their pocket is the next best thing to a secret treasure map :D
 

infinite

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I guess you could call it that :shrug:

I just find that they excell at being in the moment and relish a partner who gives them new ideas and challenges as the future manifests itself. An Ni dom would likely tap into and bolster their inferior, helping it express its represses desires, id imagine.

In short, most stps i know love gaming the system and having an Ni dom in their pocket is the next best thing to a secret treasure map :D

Ahah that secret treasure map thingie sounds lovely.
 

BlackDog

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pick someone who's willing to be dominated

Only cult leaders do that.

Edit: And in retrospect, maybe that's why I'm not a dominating personality . . . or I think I'm not . . . who knows?
 

Studmuffin23

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I was close friends with an ESTP girl once.

Both of us seemed to feel equally in control of the other.
 

greenfairy

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I guess be strong in yourselves individually and then make your strengths compliment each other. I do that with people. If you are firm in your Fe you can hold your ground while being flexible. I don't have too much experience with ESXP's, but this seems like it would work and works with other SP types.
 

Kullervo

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I think female INFJ/male ESTP can work but not the inverse. The sexes are not cognitively interchangeable, and that is something people on this site refuse to accept.

An stereotypical ESTP female would not be interested in an INFJ male, as she'll probably have many other, far more aggressive men running after her. Hence she will not be motivated to pursue somebody who is, after all, "too afraid to make a move". ESTPs are likely to be pretty conformist in a relationship sense anyway. I think INFJ men need somebody more like themselves. There are other Es in the sea.
 

Poki

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The ESTP women I know have a good head on there shoulder, it takes more then an aggressive man to capture them.

For me INFJ women think they "know" the world to much that they jump to way to many assumptions as opposed to actually learning the person they are with. Its like they have this world image and they think the actual world fits into it. They have a closed off sensory when it comes to learning, their sensory seems to be focused on playing and having fun. This focus of sensory will play very highly into an ESTP and they are very sensory driven in the same manner. They also have a vision of how things should be, but unlike the ESTP they don't put the world into this vision because they know the world does not fit this vision, its just a vision mixed with ideals and "possibly" knowns.

INFJ has a very "security" focused relationship style and wants the same in return which the ESTP has a hard time with. ESTP will need a person that has more internal security, then a relationship that focuses on security. ESTP is more of a "trust me" person, where as an INFJ is more of a I need you to create my security.

Just my 2 cents from looking at about a dozen or so ESTP/INJ relationships I have seen in my life.
 
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