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[ISTP] Second Chances
- Thread starter ameeker
- Start date
Retmeishka
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I dunno, I used to have a boyfriend when I was a teenager who would constantly break up with me and then get back together like every week. This torture went on for years. It was a purely symbolic breakup, just his way of expressing his feelings.
I had an old best friend who has basically slammed the door on me, and all her family, and disconnected from everybody in her past life, and she absolutely refuses to open the door again to anybody for any reason. There is no second chance there.
I have a couple exes in town who I still talk to as friends, and I recently started talking to one of them more than we've talked in years, but I'm not with him sexually.
I guess it all depends on the reason why people broke up and how strongly they were together to begin with.
I had an old best friend who has basically slammed the door on me, and all her family, and disconnected from everybody in her past life, and she absolutely refuses to open the door again to anybody for any reason. There is no second chance there.
I have a couple exes in town who I still talk to as friends, and I recently started talking to one of them more than we've talked in years, but I'm not with him sexually.
I guess it all depends on the reason why people broke up and how strongly they were together to begin with.
Evo
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What? Doesn't Se love reminiscing about the past lol. And don't they love rewatching movies...especially when they're trippin balls.
***
Um, my ex ISTP of 2 years ago still tries to contact me. I pretty much got the impression, that he does this with everybody though. He's a playa.
W
WALMART
Guest
whu @ bold
but yeh @ trippin' balls
op - all is never lost. curiously enough, her name was amanda.
Nope as soon as the relationship is over you don't exist to me. That's Si that likes reminiscing about the past. I'm a 7 I look to the future. Unless maybe the girl was really awesome and then I could see an on again off again fiery kind of relationship.
Evo
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Yea I don't know what his enneatype was maybe 3w2 or 2w3...not sure. I can see how a 7 could move on though.
[MENTION=15886]superunknown[/MENTION] I had to google whu...lol (why have i never seen that before today?? lol)
Anyways, you don't agree?
W
WALMART
Guest
idk, I kinda made it up recently. Actually, really disappointed there's an urbandictionary article for it.
Hmmm. Maybe - I like telling and hearing cool stories, the ones I think that are maybe once in a lifetime type experiences. And I have been listening to the same music regularly for like six years now.
It just doesn't seem like any sort of defining characteristic, lol.
Evo
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Dragonfly
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Si my friend, Si.
lauranna
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Second chances? Only if I didn't really mean the break up the first time round. If the break up was to teach a lesson or to make her realise how much she wants me etc.
if I meant the break up, then no way, no going back. I will have had a good reason and unless that has drastically changed, no way.
if I meant the break up, then no way, no going back. I will have had a good reason and unless that has drastically changed, no way.
Doctor Cringelord
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I dated my wife briefly, then we went our separate ways for a few years, then she found her way back to me and we haven't been apart since.
ChocolateMoose123
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I have never gone back to someone that I've had a relationship with. It's like the book has been read. I'm not saying I wouldn't but there would have to be extenuating circumstances that ended the relationship other than compatibility for me to go back. Maybe like, they moved away or something.
I would be open to re-dating some people that initially, I never got too serious with.
ameeker
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I like this.
ameeker
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I like this.
Doctor Cringelord
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She found me and pulled me out of the fire like Mona Sax saving Max Payne in Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne.
I have a question about friendship and second chances. Recently I just got dropped by my ISTP friend. At the time her behavior was very puzzling and it was only after I started reading about ISTP's that I understood. Basically my friend withdrew due to some stressful circumstances. Normally, she was up for hanging out and doing lots of things --we've always had a great time together and made time for each other. I hadn't heard from her in awhile and said she was M.I.A. ...kind of teasing and missing her, but she basically severed ties via text, not even allowing for discussion or offering an explanation. It wasn't until after reading posts about ISTP's had I realized that she was working some things out, needed space, and I had probably crossed a line. I waited a couple weeks and wrote a sincere apology, explaining things logically and without emotion. I'm an INTJ, and pretty independent, but definitely check in with friends if I know they have a build up of stress. I readily admit when I'm wrong, especially if I've unknowingly caused damage in some way. I want to fix things. It's been two months now and have heard ZERO from her. I'm taking this a little hard because I considered her part of my inner circle. I fear all is lost, despite the awesome friendship we had going. Anyone care to weigh in please? Irreparable?
ameeker
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I've found that it's pointless to expect my bf to drop me anytime I make an error and having a constant fear of abandonment is no way to live. I'm gathering that ISTPs drop people mostly if it's a really big deal. It all depends on how close you are and if that makes up or does not make up for whatever it is you did. It also helps to have enough contact to be like "hey, i'm still here" but to give them enough space to be like "you can come back anytime you're ready." I hope she comes around.
I just believe being a good communicator and working through problems (big and small) are worth it. People grow from mistakes. We have only been friends for about two years. I do not run into her in the natural course of my day...still radio silence (4 months). I'm not sure how close this ISTP let me get. I thought we had the makings of a good friendship. When a person is in contact nearly daily with me and then drops off for several...my initial reaction is worry. I check in. Maybe that is super annoying to her...if it was, she never said. I would have gladly corrected my behavior. I asked via text if she was ok, and it was unlike her to be disconnected. She said "I'm busy. I'm good" ...I said "too busy to say hey?" ...I guess I took her response as dismissive. At any rate, she dropped me right there. After writing my apology I have since sent 3 texts that were interest-based...stuff we bonded over....keeping it light. No response. Should I give up? Is this futile? I'm not sure she'd actually reach out
When I am done I am done. Takes a while, but done just means that. I may walk out a couple times. If left alone the first time I am gone, I am up to try again, but I dont initiate it. I guess, basically, you have so many shots, after that there is no progression past friendship. Of course, my version of friendship...my only real friendship limit is that I will not be tied down by a friend in my searching for someone else.
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