• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ISTP] Why are words considered a luxury to the ISTP?

The Great One

New member
Joined
Apr 27, 2012
Messages
3,439
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
6w7
It seems like every ISTP that I know seems to hate to talk. I mean, it seems like words are just seemed like an unnecessary evil to them. In fact, I find that when I ask them questions, they almost look at me with a look of scorn on their face because I am forcing them to communicate. Why are ISTP's like this? Also, please don't say, "It's because they're introverts" because I find that many introverts aren't like this (the INFJ and the INFP) especially.
 

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
Non-talkers drive me INSANE! Granted, I am a very talkative person and I love to talk so I am bias, but still. How else are you supposed to communicate with someone? Osmosis of thought? This has always confounded me. I'll see people who are good friends, but they talk very little to each other (from what I can observe). It's like... how do you know about the person? How does your friendship build? Is it magic? Where's the voodoo doll?

Kidding aside, this really does confound me. I actually want to know from non-talkers. How do you build relationships? Though I should point out, there is a difference between someone who is a quiet listener, and someone who just doesn't talk much. A quiet listener, prefers to listen and let the other person speak. But, they offer up feedback and will continue the discussion (I have a few friends like this, I do get strained sometimes but that's my own problem). They will share what they think, just not readily and it needs to be prompted. Someone who doesn't talk is someone who does have thoughts, but just doesn't feel compelled or want to speak them, or they just don't care. I just... I don't get it at all.

(I think this is independent of type, but I do agree this seems to be somewhat common amongst ISTP's).
 
L

LadyLazarus

Guest
Why would they need words when they can just punch a guy in the nose and draw symbols with his blood to convey their thoughts?
:wubbie:
 

chickpea

perfect person
Joined
Sep 12, 2009
Messages
5,728
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
This stereotype makes me reconsider my boyfriend's type because he can talk a lot when he feels like it. Loves arguing and bullshitting and telling stories. I'm way less talkative, especially in social situations.
 

badger055

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 29, 2012
Messages
570
It seems like every ISTP that I know seems to hate to talk. I mean, it seems like words are just seemed like an unnecessary evil to them. In fact, I find that when I ask them questions, they almost look at me with a look of scorn on their face because I am forcing them to communicate. Why are ISTP's like this? Also, please don't say, "It's because they're introverts" because I find that many introverts aren't like this (the INFJ and the INFP) especially.

They probably find you frivolous and annoying. But yea I hate small talk and probing questions. The general rule is I don't like using my Fe in any way unless it's negative. Crude jokes, shared hatred, pushing boundaries and talking about shared experiences is what I prefer. The easiest way to make me hate you is to start asking me how I'm doing or how my weekend was.

Why would they need words when the can just punch a guy in the nose and draw symbols with his blood to convey their thoughts?
:wubbie:

See she gets it I prefer to communicate with violence.

Non-talkers drive me INSANE! Granted, I am a very talkative person and I love to talk so I am bias, but still. How else are you supposed to communicate with someone? Osmosis of thought? This has always confounded me. I'll see people who are good friends, but they talk very little to each other (from what I can observe). It's like... how do you know about the person? How does your friendship build? Is it magic? Where's the voodoo doll?

Kidding aside, this really does confound me. I actually want to know from non-talkers. How do you build relationships? Though I should point out, there is a difference between someone who is a quiet listener, and someone who just doesn't talk much. A quiet listener, prefers to listen and let the other person speak. But, they offer up feedback and will continue the discussion (I have a few friends like this, I do get strained sometimes but that's my own problem). They will share what they think, just not readily and it needs to be prompted. Someone who doesn't talk is someone who does have thoughts, but just doesn't feel compelled or want to speak them, or they just don't care. I just... I don't get it at all.

(I think this is independent of type, but I do agree this seems to be somewhat common amongst ISTP's).

Well I guess you can get two different versions of me depending on if I like you. If I don't like you then there is like this brick wall you can't get past. I won't even see you as a person more like an object to interact with like an ATM machine. Any attempts to connect with me to make you seem more human just piss me off. With best friends it's completely different I get to be myself the real unfiltered me.

I do have a lot of thoughts but they aren't worth sharing with the wrong people and yea 99% of the time I just don't give a fuck. I guess it has to do with being self sufficient and not giving up personal information gives a tactical advantage over your enemies. My friendships are usually built on shared experiences like how soldiers in the army become close friends.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
My ISTP brother doesn't like to "waste" talk, if that makes sense. He just doesn't feel like talking or hearing others talk if he doesn't see a point in the content of conversation, something he's said explicitly before. But he'll talk quite normally about things that matter to him, whether that be biochemistry or where to take our next family vacation. The "why" of it I assume is at least in part due to precise Ti plus not being into Ne possibility-spinning. He likes to say meaningful things and he likes to hear others say meaningful things and beyond that he'd rather pay attention to other interesting things.

Why would they need words when the can just punch a guy in the nose and draw symbols with his blood to convey their thoughts?
:wubbie:

rofl
 
S

Stansmith

Guest
Speaking as someone who occasionally does this, a lot of it just seems inconsequential. As long as there isn't anything urgent or someone isn't infringing upon your interests, it's perfectly possible to be content with your own thoughts without the need for any sort of outside reference.

It's also possible that their priorities are elsewhere (perhaps they feel that their social/family lives are already adequate?), or that they're simply not interested in the conversation. While this can be frustrating to those who are used to more vocal, consistent or socially-involved conversation partners, it's really just a matter of finding people that you're compatible with in this regard.
 

yeghor

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
4,276
I have a coworker that a believe to be an ISTP...

He seems to regard Fe-gestures and niceties as...I don't know any proper word but something like soft, weak, unnecessary...something like "faggoty"... seems to be averse to compassion...

The thing is he seems to have some kind of contempt for "civil" behaviour and particularly wealthy or upper-classy people... Does this stem from some kind of inferiority that developed while growing up? Like coming from a poor family...? It seems like a reflex to devalue such people...to feel better...

Even my Fe-aux gestures seem to irritate him... Like trying to accommodate his needs when he comes to visit... He feels much better when swear words and degrading words are flying around...something that I suck at...

Well I guess you can get two different versions of me depending on if I like you. If I don't like you then there is like this brick wall you can't get past. I won't even see you as a person more like an object to interact with like an ATM machine. Any attempts to connect with me to make you seem more human just piss me off. With best friends it's completely different I get to be myself the real unfiltered me.

^Yeah he pulled this one on me... I ended up distancing myself from him... He sometimes acts caring towards me every now and then and other times he pulls himself away...

There was this one time he gave me a lift a couple of times from the gym to home, which I felt bad about cause my gym routine took longer than his...so I told him that I felt bad about it and that he wasn't obliged to do that... He suddenly got furious, not externally but internally...

Was it about me expecting some kind of Fe gesture of him, which overloaded his circuits? What do you think?

Edit: Do you think an ISTP female INFJ male relationship could work?
 
Last edited:

badger055

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 29, 2012
Messages
570
I don't know any proper word but something like soft, weak, unnecessary...something like "faggoty"...
That's my favourite word. Even if I don't use it all the time I'm probably thinking it.

The thing is he seems to have some kind of contempt for "civil" behaviour and particularly wealthy or upper-classy people...
I'm pretty much allergic to anything fancy like suits or fancy social gatherings. I hate that stuff.

Does this stem from some kind of inferiority that developed while growing up? Like coming from a poor family...? It seems like a reflex to devalue such people...to feel better...

Na not really. ISTPs like to be the underdog. We want something to rebel against. Rich people represent fakeness, excess, pretentiousness the opposite of ISTP values so they make a natural enemy. Even though I have money now I don't consider myself as part of the rich people.

^Yeah he pulled this one on me... I ended up distancing myself from him... He sometimes acts caring towards me every now and then and other times he pulls himself away...

There was this one time he gave me a lift a couple of times from the gym to home, which I felt bad about cause my gym routine took longer than his...so I told him that I felt bad about it and that he wasn't obliged to do that... He suddenly got furious, not externally but internally...

Was it about me expecting some kind of Fe gesture of him, which overloaded his circuits? What do you think?

Yea probably. He just saw it as a simple matter but you over complicated it by trying to access his feelings. In reality he didn't care at all.


Edit: Do you think an ISTP female INFJ male relationship could work?

Well I dated an INFJ female. I would say it's easy but easy doesn't mean good. It just means the INFJ is going to accommodate the ISTP but there isn't a real connection there. Fundamentally we live in two different worlds. Some ISTPs might be fine with just being accommodated though.
 

yeghor

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
4,276
That's my favourite word. Even if I don't use it all the time I'm probably thinking it.

Yeah I noticed Fe-inf guys (IxTPs) seem to regard males displaying Fe behaviour as such... though theroretically I suppose IxTP chicks would dig it...

Na not really. ISTPs like to be the underdog. We want something to rebel against. Rich people represent fakeness, excess, pretentiousness the opposite of ISTP values so they make a natural enemy. Even though I have money now I don't consider myself as part of the rich people.

Well his behaviour is going beyond being the underdog and going towards being extremely judgmental and bigotish about people's lifestyles and preferences... Feels almost like he's projecting some kind of internal complex onto them... Like, "it's certain they'll hate me, so I'll hate them first"...

...Well I dated an INFJ female. I would say it's easy but easy doesn't mean good. It just means the INFJ is going to accommodate the ISTP but there isn't a real connection there. Fundamentally we live in two different worlds. Some ISTPs might be fine with just being accommodated though.

What does it require for you to be able to make a connection...?

I am sexually drawn to high Se... I would expect Fe to do the same for ISTPs... I find Se-aux as attractive as Se-dom... I was hoping there'd be a mental overlap between Ni-Ti and Ti-Ni... And both wouldn't irritate their inferiors too much...
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
It seems like every ISTP that I know seems to hate to talk. I mean, it seems like words are just seemed like an unnecessary evil to them. In fact, I find that when I ask them questions, they almost look at me with a look of scorn on their face because I am forcing them to communicate. Why are ISTP's like this? Also, please don't say, "It's because they're introverts" because I find that many introverts aren't like this (the INFJ and the INFP) especially.
this thread needed to be made. thank you

I want to tell half of the ISTPs I meet "this isn't The Walking Dead. I'm not a zombie, stop having a gut center staredown with me and let's have a conversation"
 
R

Riva

Guest
This stereotype makes me reconsider my boyfriend's type because he can talk a lot when he feels like it. Loves arguing and bullshitting and telling stories. I'm way less talkative, especially in social situations.

When istps find their tongue they start talking as much as estps.
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
Joined
Dec 22, 2008
Messages
2,910
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
You guys must know some pretty hard-edged ISTPs. My dad and aunty are both ISTPs and they're much more laid back and cheerful.

My dad particularly doesn't talk much about himself, but can be chatty at times (especially after a few beers). In conversations he spends more time asking people questions about themselves - what they've been doing, what their work involves, whether they've been fishing/golfing/playing sport, how their family is etc. He never really thinks to say something about himself, unless it's a funny anecdote he thinks the other person will appreciate.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
They do talk - just a different language than most people use.

It's called body language. One of the reasons they get on with animals often - they have that in common.

Fun fact: cats learned to meow because people suck so badly at reading body language :coffee:
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
Joined
Oct 18, 2013
Messages
4,413
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Yeah I was quite surprised when the guy said he was ISTP... so quiet in the background and then suddenly starts talking out of the blue.
 

badger055

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 29, 2012
Messages
570
Yeah I noticed Fe-inf guys (IxTPs) seem to regard males displaying Fe behaviour as such... though theroretically I suppose IxTP chicks would dig it...



Well his behaviour is going beyond being the underdog and going towards being extremely judgmental and bigotish about people's lifestyles and preferences... Feels almost like he's projecting some kind of internal complex onto them... Like, "it's certain they'll hate me, so I'll hate them first"...
Yea I don't know maybe. I don't have anything like that though.

What does it require for you to be able to make a connection...?
Similarities I guess. Similar outlooks on life, similar sense of humour, similar way of thinking, similar interests. People of a similar type will usually get me which means people with Se. Most of my friends have been ESTPs, ESFPs and 7s or 8s. But I guess it depends a lot on the ISTP's enneagram type as well. I know an ISTP 5 on another forum who loves INFJs, ENFJs, ENFPs.

I am sexually drawn to high Se... I would expect Fe to do the same for ISTPs...
Yea I don't know I can draw in ENFJs and INFJs pretty easily but it doesn't really go both ways. I'm not drawn to Fe at all. I get a long better with ENFJs than INFJs because we are each other's shadow type and they have more Se.

I find Se-aux as attractive as Se-dom... I was hoping there'd be a mental overlap between Ni-Ti and Ti-Ni... And both wouldn't irritate their inferiors too much...

Sounds good in theory but in practice no. They are completely different. INFJs live in some crazy Ni world that is far far away from the realistic ISTP world tempered by Se.

They do talk - just a different language than most people use.

It's called body language. One of the reasons they get on with animals often - they have that in common.

Oh is that why? I thought I was just related to wolves.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Grin.

You guys seem to notice things - moods, movements, glances. You use them yourself. You automatically mimic their body language, and usually exude a calm and confidence that most herd animals will consider reassuring, if you aint going after them as a predator, and will make a predator think twice before considering you prey.

You look at women in the same way - and influence them that same way.

After all, body language makes up the largest part of our communication - even for those that aren't aware of it, or skilled at it.

I've never needed to talk to an ISTP to know if he was for me. All I needed was an evening of eye contact, observation and syncing up. And they seem to need not much more.
 

jixmixfix

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
4,278
Non-talkers drive me INSANE! Granted, I am a very talkative person and I love to talk so I am bias, but still. How else are you supposed to communicate with someone? Osmosis of thought? This has always confounded me. I'll see people who are good friends, but they talk very little to each other (from what I can observe). It's like... how do you know about the person? How does your friendship build? Is it magic? Where's the voodoo doll?

Kidding aside, this really does confound me. I actually want to know from non-talkers. How do you build relationships? Though I should point out, there is a difference between someone who is a quiet listener, and someone who just doesn't talk much. A quiet listener, prefers to listen and let the other person speak. But, they offer up feedback and will continue the discussion (I have a few friends like this, I do get strained sometimes but that's my own problem). They will share what they think, just not readily and it needs to be prompted. Someone who doesn't talk is someone who does have thoughts, but just doesn't feel compelled or want to speak them, or they just don't care. I just... I don't get it at all.

(I think this is independent of type, but I do agree this seems to be somewhat common amongst ISTP's).

Considering like 90% of communication is non-verbal I can see why not talking very much can still make you a good communicator with people. People say I give great massages even though I hardly give them, non verbal kinesthetic skill is where I shine.
 
Top