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  1. #1
    Senior Member The Great One's Avatar
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    Default Why are words considered a luxury to the ISTP?

    It seems like every ISTP that I know seems to hate to talk. I mean, it seems like words are just seemed like an unnecessary evil to them. In fact, I find that when I ask them questions, they almost look at me with a look of scorn on their face because I am forcing them to communicate. Why are ISTP's like this? Also, please don't say, "It's because they're introverts" because I find that many introverts aren't like this (the INFJ and the INFP) especially.

  2. #2
    I could do things Hard's Avatar
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    Non-talkers drive me INSANE! Granted, I am a very talkative person and I love to talk so I am bias, but still. How else are you supposed to communicate with someone? Osmosis of thought? This has always confounded me. I'll see people who are good friends, but they talk very little to each other (from what I can observe). It's like... how do you know about the person? How does your friendship build? Is it magic? Where's the voodoo doll?

    Kidding aside, this really does confound me. I actually want to know from non-talkers. How do you build relationships? Though I should point out, there is a difference between someone who is a quiet listener, and someone who just doesn't talk much. A quiet listener, prefers to listen and let the other person speak. But, they offer up feedback and will continue the discussion (I have a few friends like this, I do get strained sometimes but that's my own problem). They will share what they think, just not readily and it needs to be prompted. Someone who doesn't talk is someone who does have thoughts, but just doesn't feel compelled or want to speak them, or they just don't care. I just... I don't get it at all.

    (I think this is independent of type, but I do agree this seems to be somewhat common amongst ISTP's).
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
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  3. #3
    LadyLazarus
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    Why would they need words when they can just punch a guy in the nose and draw symbols with his blood to convey their thoughts?

  4. #4
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    This stereotype makes me reconsider my boyfriend's type because he can talk a lot when he feels like it. Loves arguing and bullshitting and telling stories. I'm way less talkative, especially in social situations.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Great One View Post
    It seems like every ISTP that I know seems to hate to talk. I mean, it seems like words are just seemed like an unnecessary evil to them. In fact, I find that when I ask them questions, they almost look at me with a look of scorn on their face because I am forcing them to communicate. Why are ISTP's like this? Also, please don't say, "It's because they're introverts" because I find that many introverts aren't like this (the INFJ and the INFP) especially.
    They probably find you frivolous and annoying. But yea I hate small talk and probing questions. The general rule is I don't like using my Fe in any way unless it's negative. Crude jokes, shared hatred, pushing boundaries and talking about shared experiences is what I prefer. The easiest way to make me hate you is to start asking me how I'm doing or how my weekend was.

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyLazarus View Post
    Why would they need words when the can just punch a guy in the nose and draw symbols with his blood to convey their thoughts?
    See she gets it I prefer to communicate with violence.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    Non-talkers drive me INSANE! Granted, I am a very talkative person and I love to talk so I am bias, but still. How else are you supposed to communicate with someone? Osmosis of thought? This has always confounded me. I'll see people who are good friends, but they talk very little to each other (from what I can observe). It's like... how do you know about the person? How does your friendship build? Is it magic? Where's the voodoo doll?

    Kidding aside, this really does confound me. I actually want to know from non-talkers. How do you build relationships? Though I should point out, there is a difference between someone who is a quiet listener, and someone who just doesn't talk much. A quiet listener, prefers to listen and let the other person speak. But, they offer up feedback and will continue the discussion (I have a few friends like this, I do get strained sometimes but that's my own problem). They will share what they think, just not readily and it needs to be prompted. Someone who doesn't talk is someone who does have thoughts, but just doesn't feel compelled or want to speak them, or they just don't care. I just... I don't get it at all.

    (I think this is independent of type, but I do agree this seems to be somewhat common amongst ISTP's).
    Well I guess you can get two different versions of me depending on if I like you. If I don't like you then there is like this brick wall you can't get past. I won't even see you as a person more like an object to interact with like an ATM machine. Any attempts to connect with me to make you seem more human just piss me off. With best friends it's completely different I get to be myself the real unfiltered me.

    I do have a lot of thoughts but they aren't worth sharing with the wrong people and yea 99% of the time I just don't give a fuck. I guess it has to do with being self sufficient and not giving up personal information gives a tactical advantage over your enemies. My friendships are usually built on shared experiences like how soldiers in the army become close friends.

  6. #6
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    My ISTP brother doesn't like to "waste" talk, if that makes sense. He just doesn't feel like talking or hearing others talk if he doesn't see a point in the content of conversation, something he's said explicitly before. But he'll talk quite normally about things that matter to him, whether that be biochemistry or where to take our next family vacation. The "why" of it I assume is at least in part due to precise Ti plus not being into Ne possibility-spinning. He likes to say meaningful things and he likes to hear others say meaningful things and beyond that he'd rather pay attention to other interesting things.

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyLazarus View Post
    Why would they need words when the can just punch a guy in the nose and draw symbols with his blood to convey their thoughts?
    rofl

  7. #7
    Stansmith
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    Speaking as someone who occasionally does this, a lot of it just seems inconsequential. As long as there isn't anything urgent or someone isn't infringing upon your interests, it's perfectly possible to be content with your own thoughts without the need for any sort of outside reference.

    It's also possible that their priorities are elsewhere (perhaps they feel that their social/family lives are already adequate?), or that they're simply not interested in the conversation. While this can be frustrating to those who are used to more vocal, consistent or socially-involved conversation partners, it's really just a matter of finding people that you're compatible with in this regard.

  8. #8
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    I have a coworker that a believe to be an ISTP...

    He seems to regard Fe-gestures and niceties as...I don't know any proper word but something like soft, weak, unnecessary...something like "faggoty"... seems to be averse to compassion...

    The thing is he seems to have some kind of contempt for "civil" behaviour and particularly wealthy or upper-classy people... Does this stem from some kind of inferiority that developed while growing up? Like coming from a poor family...? It seems like a reflex to devalue such people...to feel better...

    Even my Fe-aux gestures seem to irritate him... Like trying to accommodate his needs when he comes to visit... He feels much better when swear words and degrading words are flying around...something that I suck at...

    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    Well I guess you can get two different versions of me depending on if I like you. If I don't like you then there is like this brick wall you can't get past. I won't even see you as a person more like an object to interact with like an ATM machine. Any attempts to connect with me to make you seem more human just piss me off. With best friends it's completely different I get to be myself the real unfiltered me.
    ^Yeah he pulled this one on me... I ended up distancing myself from him... He sometimes acts caring towards me every now and then and other times he pulls himself away...

    There was this one time he gave me a lift a couple of times from the gym to home, which I felt bad about cause my gym routine took longer than his...so I told him that I felt bad about it and that he wasn't obliged to do that... He suddenly got furious, not externally but internally...

    Was it about me expecting some kind of Fe gesture of him, which overloaded his circuits? What do you think?

    Edit: Do you think an ISTP female INFJ male relationship could work?
    Last edited by yeghor; 03-30-2014 at 03:22 AM. Reason: Edit

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeghor View Post
    I don't know any proper word but something like soft, weak, unnecessary...something like "faggoty"...
    That's my favourite word. Even if I don't use it all the time I'm probably thinking it.

    The thing is he seems to have some kind of contempt for "civil" behaviour and particularly wealthy or upper-classy people...
    I'm pretty much allergic to anything fancy like suits or fancy social gatherings. I hate that stuff.


    Does this stem from some kind of inferiority that developed while growing up? Like coming from a poor family...? It seems like a reflex to devalue such people...to feel better...
    Na not really. ISTPs like to be the underdog. We want something to rebel against. Rich people represent fakeness, excess, pretentiousness the opposite of ISTP values so they make a natural enemy. Even though I have money now I don't consider myself as part of the rich people.


    ^Yeah he pulled this one on me... I ended up distancing myself from him... He sometimes acts caring towards me every now and then and other times he pulls himself away...

    There was this one time he gave me a lift a couple of times from the gym to home, which I felt bad about cause my gym routine took longer than his...so I told him that I felt bad about it and that he wasn't obliged to do that... He suddenly got furious, not externally but internally...

    Was it about me expecting some kind of Fe gesture of him, which overloaded his circuits? What do you think?
    Yea probably. He just saw it as a simple matter but you over complicated it by trying to access his feelings. In reality he didn't care at all.


    Edit: Do you think an ISTP female INFJ male relationship could work?
    Well I dated an INFJ female. I would say it's easy but easy doesn't mean good. It just means the INFJ is going to accommodate the ISTP but there isn't a real connection there. Fundamentally we live in two different worlds. Some ISTPs might be fine with just being accommodated though.

  10. #10
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    That's my favourite word. Even if I don't use it all the time I'm probably thinking it.
    Yeah I noticed Fe-inf guys (IxTPs) seem to regard males displaying Fe behaviour as such... though theroretically I suppose IxTP chicks would dig it...

    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    Na not really. ISTPs like to be the underdog. We want something to rebel against. Rich people represent fakeness, excess, pretentiousness the opposite of ISTP values so they make a natural enemy. Even though I have money now I don't consider myself as part of the rich people.
    Well his behaviour is going beyond being the underdog and going towards being extremely judgmental and bigotish about people's lifestyles and preferences... Feels almost like he's projecting some kind of internal complex onto them... Like, "it's certain they'll hate me, so I'll hate them first"...

    Quote Originally Posted by badger055 View Post
    ...Well I dated an INFJ female. I would say it's easy but easy doesn't mean good. It just means the INFJ is going to accommodate the ISTP but there isn't a real connection there. Fundamentally we live in two different worlds. Some ISTPs might be fine with just being accommodated though.
    What does it require for you to be able to make a connection...?

    I am sexually drawn to high Se... I would expect Fe to do the same for ISTPs... I find Se-aux as attractive as Se-dom... I was hoping there'd be a mental overlap between Ni-Ti and Ti-Ni... And both wouldn't irritate their inferiors too much...

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