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  1. #1
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    Default Dealing with ISFP's

    How come having a relationship with an ISFP is like reliving the notebook?

    Can someone explain this to me?

    Is it possible to meet an ISFP who doesn't flip out when things are getting interesting? My experience is telling me its impossible.

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    What do you mean by "interesting"? Maybe they're flipping out for a reason. Are you throwing more iPods?

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    I thought ISFP is supposed to be one of those types that's much more intricate and perhaps even having self-contradictory qualities.

    I thought they're supposed to often like action, but also like peace.

    Then some of them are highly artistic and have good eyes for beauty.

    And then they're supposed to be big-time individualists a lot, doing their own thing right?

    And lastly, I thought many of them can look much more plain on the exterior in exuberance, but much more alive inside.

    Gosh, I'm sure that could produce for much diversity. No wonder you would have a hard time coming to a good understanding.

    Personally though, I much prefer the idea of universal acceptance over scary-deep understanding and judgment.

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    yeah you really have no business "educating" people on the various types.

    you label anyone who takes issue with you as being defective.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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    Senior Member Forever_Jung's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    How come having a relationship with an ISFP is like reliving the notebook?

    Can someone explain this to me?

    Is it possible to meet an ISFP who doesn't flip out when things are getting interesting? My experience is telling me its impossible.
    You seem to meet a lot of unreasonable people in your travels.

    Anyway, I'm not sure what you mean by flipping out when things get interesting.

    Can you give me an example?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Forever_Jung View Post
    You seem to meet a lot of unreasonable people in your travels.

    Anyway, I'm not sure what you mean by flipping out when things get interesting.

    Can you give me an example?
    Ever seen the notebook?

    Ok real life example. We go out to dinner at this bar together wearing leather jackets. her hands are all over me, we sit down under the neon lights looking out the window at the street drinking our beers together and toast to looking forward to a good year. We cuddle up some, it was the perfect night. I told her she's a lot of fun to spend time with and she returned the compliment and we just sat together in silence with her head on my shoulder for 30 minutes or so. We get back to her place, she invites me in, we sit on the couch together. She asks me if I ever saw this one movie. I said, "I've never seen that one before." She freezes and gives me this death glare and says, "do you even want to?" I look up at her confused and say, "I'd love to." Then she just walks over to the sink and sits there brooding. Then she comes back over and sits down on the couch and starts telling me about how she lost her parents and 4/5's of her family is dead and this and that and then suddenly she's giving me this lecture on how I should tell my family I love them and the whole time I'm just like "wtf is going on?" and then she gets in a pissy mood and goes to her room and tells me to sleep on the couch.

    lol. Night ruined. And this happened like 4 times in a row until I eventually gave up.

    I've experienced this with 1 other ISFP as well. I also read that ESI's tend to do this in socionics because "they are unsure of their feelings" and push people away when they get too close.

    So my question is, how am I supposed to deal with this behavior?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Poimandres View Post
    I thought ISFP is supposed to be one of those types that's much more intricate and perhaps even having self-contradictory qualities.

    I thought they're supposed to often like action, but also like peace.

    Then some of them are highly artistic and have good eyes for beauty.

    And then they're supposed to be big-time individualists a lot, doing their own thing right?

    And lastly, I thought many of them can look much more plain on the exterior in exuberance, but much more alive inside.

    Gosh, I'm sure that could produce for much diversity. No wonder you would have a hard time coming to a good understanding.

    Personally though, I much prefer the idea of universal acceptance over scary-deep understanding and judgment.
    Yes. They're very complex and intense. That's why I love them so much. But... they're also a complete mystery to me. I've dated a few other ISFP's and its usually the same story over and over.

  8. #8
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Ever seen the notebook?

    Ok real life example. We go out to dinner at this bar together wearing leather jackets. her hands are all over me, we sit down under the neon lights looking out the window at the street drinking our beers together and toast to looking forward to a good year. We cuddle up some, it was the perfect night. I told her she's a lot of fun to spend time with and she returned the compliment and we just sat together in silence with her head on my shoulder for 30 minutes or so. We get back to her place, she invites me in, we sit on the couch together. She asks me if I ever saw this one movie. I said, "I've never seen that one before." She freezes and gives me this death glare and says, "do you even want to?" I look up at her confused and say, "I'd love to." Then she just walks over to the sink and sits there brooding. Then she comes back over and sits down on the couch and starts telling me about how she lost her parents and 4/5's of her family is dead and this and that and then suddenly she's giving me this lecture on how I should tell my family I love them and the whole time I'm just like "wtf is going on?" and then she gets in a pissy mood and goes to her room and tells me to sleep on the couch.

    I've experienced this with 1 other ISFP as well. I also read that ESI's tend to do this in socionics because "they are unsure of their feelings" and push people away when they get too close.

    So my question is, how am I supposed to deal with this behavior?
    Maybe something about the movie or the situation reminded her of her family situation.

    How long have you two been dating? She may be uncertain in how she feels about you as well. ISFPs like to take their time to get to know people. Letting pieces slowly fall into place. We'll really like this one piece and this one other piece. And then there may be a piece that makes us uncertain. We like to see if there may be other pieces that we may like, and worry there may be other pieces we don't like.

    At least, that's how it is for me.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

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    Quote Originally Posted by IndyAnnaJoan View Post
    Maybe something about the movie or the situation reminded her of her family situation.

    How long have you two been dating? She may be uncertain in how she feels about you as well. ISFPs like to take their time to get to know people. Letting pieces slowly fall into place. We'll really like this one piece and this one other piece. And then there may be a piece that makes us uncertain. We like to see if there may be other pieces that we may like, and worry there may be other pieces we don't like.

    At least, that's how it is for me.
    9 months.

    That was 9 months of hugging and anything more than that was flipout worthy. And telling her I liked her was against the rules. *shoots self*

    lmao, looking back the whole thing was ridiculous. The reason I bring this up is because she just texted me last night to see how I was doing after 6 months of not talking to one another. Apparently her reason for fighting with me that one day was so... I wouldn't be her friend anymore.... because she cared about me and she hurts people or some shit.

    I'm like... wait what?

  10. #10
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    9 months.

    That was 9 months of hugging and anything more than that was flipout worthy. And telling her I liked her was against the rules.
    Wait... so... are you, or are you guys not dating then??

    Maybe she's just not that into you?

    Or, she has trouble with intimacy. Lack of experience, was hurt once before/baggage, traumatizing experience... ?
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

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