My ISTP friend came to me for emotional support. I'm really not sure how to handle it.
My ISTP friend is not known for talking to anybody when he's upset. He's pretty infamous for bottling things up and disappearing. I'm afraid if I handle this in my usual blunt manner, he'll disappear off the face of the planet for a bit, never to ask for help again....
His problem: He tells Girl he does not want a relationship, just cuddly-sexy times. Girl enjoys cuddly-sexy times. She likes the cuddly times in particular. She thinks maybe he doesn't really mean it when he says all he wants is cuddly-sexy times. She asks to define the relationship. He declares them just friends. She gets hurt, angry and confused. He tells her he spelled out he doesn't want a relationship from the very beginning.
When he talked to me, he was upset because he always finds his way into these situations.
It's true too. I've lost track of the number of girls that have ended up like this since we've been friends. When things end with them, he's always upset for a bit. He keeps being blunter and blunter with them in the beginning, but then does stuff like invite them to dinner with his family. I don't blame the girls for getting confused. I would get confused too.
So ISTPs, when you actually do go to a friend with emotional type stuff, do you just want them to just listen? Or can you handle a little blunt feedback if the friend thinks you are partially at fault? Am I supposed to follow up and ask him how he is doing or let him pretend he never opened up about this?
I'm an INTJ girl. Please help.