[ESFP] Ask an ESFP!

[Zarathustra]

Nope

 

[WALMART]

Lots of talk of ExFP's connecting dots, finding patterns etc. For the ESFP this is more geared towards people possibilities.

What does this mean to you? How do you see yourself visualising people possibilities?

also, What types of games do you enjoy? Why?

"Apparently this type is more prone to favour women than men; in which case, however, the intuitive activity reveals itself not so much in the professional as in the social sphere. Such women understand the art of utilizing every social opportunity; they establish right social connections; they seek out lovers with possibilities only to abandon everything again for the sake of a new possibility."

Jung equates nothing of social proclivity to Se. The concept falls squarely upon the Ne user...

 

[Betty Blue]

Do you have a theory for the rest of the types?

Well, using deflowering as a benchmark, if we can pin down all Art majors to a specific type/types... then we may be able to dream up a new theory.


*According to one US university/college study

 

[Jeffster]

Well, maybe I could imagine having a sexless romantic relationship, but I certainly couldn't imagine surviving it. It would make me feel so unloved and insecure.

Why do you need sex to make you feel loved and secure? I'm not picking on you, I'm genuinely curious.

 

[five sounds]

*thinks about what he always thought a "milkshake" referred to in that song*

*wonders if [MENTION=18819]nicolita[/MENTION] knows what that is*

​

I specifically tried to word that to sound the least sexual innuendo-y possible.
My imagination did explore the possibilities of the milkshake metaphor probably more than ever before though, so who knows. Maybe I thought of your idea, hah.

 

[Comeback Girl]

[MENTION=18819]nicolita[/MENTION]
No, I think it was probably just my love of milkshakes that happened to bring boys to my yard. Very coincidental looking back on it now.
I liked milkshakes to, but that didn't help my ugly fat ass :/

[MENTION=9160]HelenOfTroy[/MENTION]
What does this mean to you? How do you see yourself visualising people possibilities?
What do you mean with 'people possibilities'?

also, What types of games do you enjoy? Why?
Games I can win. I'm a terrible loser.

[MENTION=4358]Jeffster[/MENTION]
Why do you need sex to make you feel loved and secure? I'm not picking on you, I'm genuinely curious.
Because if the one I'm romantically involved with doesn't want to have sex with me, it means he thinks I'm too ugly. That makes me feel insecure. And also, if he thought I was ugly and had sex with me anyway, it means he loves me for who I am. So being romantically involved with someone without sex means to me that he doesn't love me or find me attractive.

 

[Betty Blue]

[MENTION=18819]


What does this mean to you? How do you see yourself visualising people possibilities?
What do you mean with 'people possibilities'?

To be honest i'm not entirely sure, i was hoping you might be able to give some insight into it. Maybe it means more along the line of networking,forming friendship groups, seeing the potential in relationps/alliances...?

For me people possibilities means the same as other possibilities so i'm not sure how to distinguish it or weather it would be any different. I have just heard it said/read it a few times.

 

[Comeback Girl]

To be honest i'm not entirely sure, i was hoping you might be able to give some insight into it. Maybe it means more along the line of networking,forming friendship groups, seeing the potential in relationps/alliances...?

For me people possibilities means the same as other possibilities so i'm not sure how to distinguish it or weather it would be any different. I have just heard it said/read it a few times.

Well, I always try to get some sort of idea how people around me relate to each other, who's forming a clique with who, what's happening between people. I've never really thought about this actually. Seems normal to me?

 

[Betty Blue]

Well, I always try to get some sort of idea how people around me relate to each other, who's forming a clique with who, what's happening between people. I've never really thought about this actually. Seems normal to me?

oh ok. Do you think about the potential of these cliques or is it more about the here and now? Posibilities to me always seemed about what could/might happen rather than what is happening so i'm curious to see if it goes against the stereotype that is always living in the moment for the SP temprement.

Also you mentioned about taking things personally, how do you resolve an issue when you feel hurt/personally attacked?

Also... are you enjoying this thread?

 

[Comeback Girl]

[MENTION=9160]HelenOfTroy[/MENTION]
oh ok. Do you think about the potential of these cliques or is it more about the here and now? Posibilities to me always seemed about what could/might happen rather than what is happening so i'm curious to see if it goes against the stereotype that is always living in the moment for the SP temprement.
I usually try to figure out what's going on in that group and why everybody's acting in a certain way. Sometimes I do foresee certain things developing, but only if these people are interesting enough. I don't know if this counts though, but I'm excellent at predicting break-ups. Up till now there's been only one break-up that I didn't predict correctly, but that was because I didn't really know them that well, they had great chemistry and everyone was being extremely positive about them.

Also you mentioned about taking things personally, how do you resolve an issue when you feel hurt/personally attacked?
Depends on who hurt me. If it's someone I don't really like or care about, I just try to ignore them as much as I can. With people who are my superior in some sort or way, I tend to get submissive. When we're talking about someone I really like and care about, I just try as hard as I can to restore this relationship.

Also... are you enjoying this thread?
It's okay, as long as people don't get too personal. It's the internet, it's best to stay anonymous when you might blurt out something that can be used against you. They might use it against you for the rest of your life, you know? It's the internet, everything on the internet is forever.

 

[Jeffster]

[MENTION=4358]Jeffster[/MENTION]
Why do you need sex to make you feel loved and secure? I'm not picking on you, I'm genuinely curious.
Because if the one I'm romantically involved with doesn't want to have sex with me, it means he thinks I'm too ugly. That makes me feel insecure. And also, if he thought I was ugly and had sex with me anyway, it means he loves me for who I am. So being romantically involved with someone without sex means to me that he doesn't love me or find me attractive.

Even if he assured you that he did love you and found you attractive? What if he's got a physical problem that makes sex dangerous and/or impossible? Or it goes against his personal beliefs, whatever they may be? Would you automatically end a relationship over lack of sex?

 

[Comeback Girl]

Even if he assured you that he did love you and found you attractive? What if he's got a physical problem that makes sex dangerous and/or impossible? Or it goes against his personal beliefs, whatever they may be? Would you automatically end a relationship over lack of sex?

If it goes against his personal beliefs, I'd end the relationship. The only people I know who do the abstinence thing are dogmatic creeps and I don't want to be involved with one, so this would be a no brainer. If he had a physical problem, there are probably still things he could do, so I'd try to find alternatives with him.

 

[Jeffster]

If it goes against his personal beliefs, I'd end the relationship. The only people I know who do the abstinence thing are dogmatic creeps and I don't want to be involved with one, so this would be a no brainer.

Wow, really? It's unfortunate that "dogmatic creeps" have been the only ones you've known. That hasn't been my experience, but not everybody meets the same people of course.

If he had a physical problem, there are probably still things he could do, so I'd try to find alternatives with him.

That's good to hear. I think it might open you up to new experiences and other ways to demonstrate love.

 

[Comeback Girl]

[MENTION=4358]Jeffster[/MENTION]
Wow, really? It's unfortunate that "dogmatic creeps" have been the only ones you've known. That hasn't been my experience, but not everybody meets the same people of course.
I've never met any strictly religious people who are actually nice. I do know nice religious people, but they don't do abstinence and other dogmatic things. The others... Well, let's start with a girl who I had a class with where we were supposed to talk about our problems (yawn). During one class she started preaching about how living her life entirely for God brought so many miracles to her life (like how her dad stopped drinking?) and how people who don't believe in God are doomed to live a bad life. Starting preaching how non-religious families are doomed to be broken. I never really counted being non-religious as a big part of my identity, but that just pissed me off. So I was just sitting there and I had to listen to that bullcrap. I wasn't allowed to protest and all the other people in the classroom started praising that girl for being so inspiring and everything. And that's just the least extreme example. I also can't imagine someone like that becoming a good partner or parent. I know a girl whose father is exactly like that (very religious people aren't really common here) and he abused the crap out of his family. So I promised to myself that I'd only date atheists, agnostics and mildly religious people.

I'm sorry if I seem prejudiced here, but my experiences with these people are just too bad.

That's good to hear. I think it might open you up to new experiences and other ways to demonstrate love.
Well, yeah, unless you're handicapped on a Stephen Hawking type of level, there's still plenty of things you can do. That's not hard to figure out.

 

[LEGERdeMAIN]

During one class she started preaching about how living her life entirely for God brought so many miracles to her life (like how her dad stopped drinking?) and how people who don't believe in God are doomed to live a bad life. Starting preaching how non-religious families are doomed to be broken. I never really counted being non-religious as a big part of my identity, but that just pissed me off. So I was just sitting there and I had to listen to that bullcrap. I wasn't allowed to protest and all the other people in the classroom started praising that girl for being so inspiring and everything. And that's just the least extreme example. I also can't imagine someone like that becoming a good partner or parent. I know a girl whose father is exactly like that (very religious people aren't really common here) and he abused the crap out of his family. So I promised to myself that I'd only date atheists, agnostics and mildly religious people.

In those situations, I use sarcasm. I have no friends tho, so maybe it's not the best idea.

 

[Comeback Girl]

In those situations, I use sarcasm. I have no friends tho, so maybe it's not the best idea.

Well, I couldn't. It was one of those classes where we were supposed to talk about our problems and she started doing this s*** during an emotional outburst. I already had a bad reputation in that group because I didn't have any problems and I knew there were some other Christians in that group (non-practicing, though), so I guess I just sucked it up. Didn't want to cause any more drama.

 

[baccheion]

I hate when that happens, when they start insisting random things are true, then try to impose them on everyone. There are some people that can't function normally, or that will find themselves "giving into temptation" without religion, but that doesn't apply to everyone. And some people do a lot better (live a better life) without religion. I hate people like the one mentioned above, because they give people fuel to think that other religious people are the same. Not everyone thinks that way.

 

[baccheion]

1. How good would you say you are in bed? The stereotype is that ESFPs excel in the bedroom. Does this apply to you? If so, did you just naturally get good at it, or did you have to learn? How long did it take?
2. Are you getting out of this site what you wanted to? Are you enjoying it here?
3. Do you enjoy deep conversation, or do you prefer things to be lightweight? Why?

 

[Comeback Girl]

I hate when that happens, when they start insisting random things are true, then try to impose them on everyone. There are some people that can't function normally, or that will find themselves "giving into temptation" without religion, but that doesn't apply to everyone. And some people do a lot better (live a better life) without religion. I hate people like the one mentioned above, because they give people fuel to think that other religious people are the same. Not everyone thinks that way.

Well, so do I. When that girl started preaching about all the 'miracles' that happened because of 'God', I saw all these things as things that happened because of willpower. I think willpower and motivation are the exact things certain people get out of their religion. Like when they say they stopped drinking because of God, I usually think 'No, you stopped drinking because your BELIEF in God MOTIVATED you to stop drinking for whatever reason'. Or when they say that God helped them get into college, I tend to think 'No, your BELIEF in God only MOTIVATED you to get into college'. People get motivated from various things and religion happens to be one of the so many. People like this girl somehow tend to describe all the things they achieved to be things that God did and sadly for them they're underestimating their own power. That's all okay, but I hate it when they're so convinced of that idea, they need to force it on others.

Also, some of the 'miracles' she described probably happened because of motivation in combination with social support. A bit unfair to the people who supported her if she attributes all of her success to God then.

 

[Comeback Girl]

[MENTION=17495]CapLawyer[/MENTION]
How good would you say you are in bed? The stereotype is that ESFPs excel in the bedroom. Does this apply to you? If so, did you just naturally get good at it, or did you have to learn? How long did it take?
Don't ask me if I'm good, ask the people I've slept with! As it felt for me, it took too long before I lost my virginity, because I had these desires way before it actually happened (I was in love with a guy who didn't want sex). I wasn't happy about it at the time, but on the upside I had enough time to get a lot of research on the subject. What men like, what they don't like, how to do stuff, where their erogenous zones are, some extra things that help improve the experience. So you could say I was relatively well prepared during the first time, I even made sure the whole experience would be totally painless (not gonna tell it here, it's pretty TMI). I remember feeling a bit sore in my muscles after the first times, but I never really had any complaints. Maybe it's because when I dance, I use my hips and my butt the most and that helped me 'get' the movements more quickly. It could also be that nobody wanted to break my self-esteem and didn't complain about it for that reason... I do have some quirks. I hate it when I don't have any eye contact during sex for example.

Are you getting out of this site what you wanted to? Are you enjoying it here?
Honestly I'm not sure if I'm getting everything out of it what I wanted to, but I'll stick around and see what happens. Most of the times I enjoy it here, sometimes I don't.

Do you enjoy deep conversation, or do you prefer things to be lightweight? Why?
I don't like deep conversations. Ever since my teachers decided that I was smart (turns out my IQ was 140), they wanted me to do more intellectual things and study more and I never wanted to. Everybody suddenly expected me to be into deep subjects and geeky things and they tried to force these things on me, so I developed a bit of an aversion to most deep subjects. Unless it's about things that have a certain impact on the real world, like political stuff. When it's about equal rights for example, let it be for gays, women, minorities, anything, I won't shy away from it. But don't get me talking about metaphysics.