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Thread: Ask an ESFP!

  1. #181
    Senior Member Mitsuko Souma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comeback Girl View Post
    If necessary, but I prefer making people's life a living hell if they don't do what I want - and I try to keep up that reputation.
    Interesting... ESFPs come in all shapes and sizes as well. Perhaps that is your high Te showing? (I can display a fair amount of control and be a "control freak" over pulling the emotional guilty card).

  2. #182
    Ratchet Ass Moon Fairy Comeback Girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mitsuko Souma View Post
    Interesting... ESFPs come in all shapes and sizes as well. Perhaps that is your high Te showing? (I can display a fair amount of control and be a "control freak" over pulling the emotional guilty card).
    Well yeah, I'm showing lots of Te most of the time (turns out my Te is even stronger than my Fi). I can be a bit controlling and dominant. But I think it's something new, didn't have yet this a few months ago. Lots of stressful events.
    Ewww is the new sexy


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  3. #183
    Senior Member Mitsuko Souma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comeback Girl View Post
    Well yeah, I'm showing lots of Te most of the time (turns out my Te is even stronger than my Fi). I can be a bit controlling and dominant. But I think it's something new, didn't have yet this a few months ago. Lots of stressful events.
    Ah! So it is more the stresses of life, the situation you are in that does that. ESFP: Se-Fi-Te-Ni. Your underdeveloped Te shows in stressful situations I believe. So now what will you do with this part of you?

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    Ratchet Ass Moon Fairy Comeback Girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mitsuko Souma View Post
    Ah! So it is more the stresses of life, the situation you are in that does that. ESFP: Se-Fi-Te-Ni. Your underdeveloped Te shows in stressful situations I believe. So now what will you do with this part of you?
    I'll benefit from it as well as I can. Te is a good thing to have, you know?
    Ewww is the new sexy


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  5. #185
    Senior Member Mitsuko Souma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comeback Girl View Post
    I'll benefit from it as well as I can. Te is a good thing to have, know?
    I know that all to well. I go now, thanks for the online chat.

  6. #186
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    @Comeback Girl

    You speak frequently of boredom. What kind of things do you find entertaining? Not just in terms of the actual activities, but the kind of experiences that you seek out to feel engaged.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  7. #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-Up Rex View Post
    @Comeback Girl

    You speak frequently of boredom. What kind of things do you find entertaining? Not just in terms of the actual activities, but the kind of experiences that you seek out to feel engaged.
    Well, it's a bit like I always have way too much energy, not necessarily physically, but mostly mentally. All this energy makes me restless, but at the same time also bored and tired, so I usually like activities that help me lose some of that excessive energy. Discovering new things, being creative, acting crazy, meeting new people, it all helps. I used to have drama as an outlet too, but I discovered that if I can't play high energy characters (like dumb blondes or psychopaths), it doesn't help me lose that excessive energy; playing low energy characters can even add more energy to my already energy overdosed mind, so it makes me more restless, bored and tired. Same with dancing: I like it, unless I have to learn a certain choreography, which just adds more excessive energy to my energy supply.

    I also barely watch TV, because most mainstream shows are just too boring for me. If I watch a TV show or a documentary, it's about something taboo-ish most of the time. War crimes, people with strange world views, people with strange fetishes, etc.

    I think if I had to summarize it in a few words, it would be:
    • Novelty
    • High energy
    • Boldness
    • Taboo subjects


    I think that sums it up quite well. I also can't stand routine by the way. I used to go out with this group of people and in the beginning it was fun, but they kept going to the same bars in the same order (drinking the same drinks all the time and pushing me to drink the same as them), which made me get bored of going out with these people. So I think I'm pretty impossible to entertain.
    Ewww is the new sexy


    Hi! Ask me things, maybe I'll answer them! Just click here

    And here's my functions: Se-Te-Fi-Fe-Ni-Ti-Ne-Si


  8. #188
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Comeback Girl View Post
    Well, it's a bit like I always have way too much energy, not necessarily physically, but mostly mentally. All this energy makes me restless, but at the same time also bored and tired, so I usually like activities that help me lose some of that excessive energy. Discovering new things, being creative, acting crazy, meeting new people, it all helps. I used to have drama as an outlet too, but I discovered that if I can't play high energy characters (like dumb blondes or psychopaths), it doesn't help me lose that excessive energy; playing low energy characters can even add more energy to my already energy overdosed mind, so it makes me more restless, bored and tired. Same with dancing: I like it, unless I have to learn a certain choreography, which just adds more excessive energy to my energy supply.

    I also barely watch TV, because most mainstream shows are just too boring for me. If I watch a TV show or a documentary, it's about something taboo-ish most of the time. War crimes, people with strange world views, people with strange fetishes, etc.

    I think if I had to summarize it in a few words, it would be:
    • Novelty
    • High energy
    • Boldness
    • Taboo subjects


    I think that sums it up quite well. I also can't stand routine by the way. I used to go out with this group of people and in the beginning it was fun, but they kept going to the same bars in the same order (drinking the same drinks all the time and pushing me to drink the same as them), which made me get bored of going out with these people. So I think I'm pretty impossible to entertain.
    Ever thought of becoming a journalist?

    It's a thought that strikes me from some confluence of my impression from what you've just said, and my observation that you've got a very engaging prose-style.

    What you've described as engaging definitely resonates. In most social situations, I've got to feel just the right kind of connection with the people around me in order for me not to check out. Sex always helps. If there's someone around I wouldn't mind making out with, then I'm instantly more involved than if there isn't. Other times, things just kind of line up (right headspace, had enough to drink to feel uninhibited, ect.) and I feel this kind of surge in me where the energy in the room is mine, and I'm the center of everything. It's hard to describe, but I wondered if you relate to that at all? I had always associated that energetic awareness with Se. It's got a kind of an unrestrained quality, a wildness to it, that ESFPs I've known seem to have in spades.

    Maybe that's the "high-energy" you're describing? One of my best friends is a gay ESFP guy that I met in college. We have this sort of mutual catalytic effect in terms of that quality where we'd just push each other for more intensity, more pleasure, more dancing, more food, more feeling, more, more, more--just pushing that energy as high as it could go. Insatiably. Forever.

    What are your feelings about planning? The stereotype would suggest that it wouldn't be your bag. I've discovered that there's something to the old wisdom about their being more pleasure in delayed gratification. It's not just the attainment of the thing, but the process of making an idea actual. Nothing compares to bringing something that was just a thought in my head into being for me. Not even sex.

    I say that to premise the following fairly presumptuous statement: I think you're bored because you lack direction. Listening to you is like watching a cheetah at the zoo pace around a too small enclosure. I get the sense that your circumstances aren't the easiest, and have maybe created some obsticles () to pursuing....whatever. And you've been frustrated enough times in enough ways that you've resigned yourself to simply diverting yourself, or seeking to divert yourself, at least. If there's any truth to that, it's understandable, and you're entitled to do with your life what you choose.

    My instinct, though, is that if you had some sort of grand vision for yourself, something that you had to genuinely strive for, then you wouldn't be so bored nor so restless. Again, I say this with full respect for the fact that a) ESFPs don't plan anymore than they do blogs or anything else, and b) I don't know you from Eve. But I'm ENTJ. We're efficiency fiends and control freaks. Energy and talent are assets just as sure as cash is, and right now you seem to be just stuffing yours under a mattress, if you catch my drift.

    So my last question is what do you want to do with your life? In a perfect world in which all things were possible, where are you and what would you be doing?

    Again, you'll have to excuse me, I've been wanting to ask you these things for a while, but hadn't gotten around to it. Feel free to tell me to go fuck myself if I've gotten too personal.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  9. #189
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    Hello, I work with an ESFP and he is intolerable for me to work with. He seems a little unintelligent, simple, intuitardish (his inferior Ni comes up with the most ridiculous conclusions possible including our reason for keeping cattle is because we fear they will take over) acts tough and aggressive despite it being a paper thin facade and seems to think he is amusing and interesting (which I don't agree with). I'm an INFP myself. I have been giving him the silent treatment for many months (he's the only one in my department I will not speak to) yet he doesn't seem to realise. I found myself tolerating him before because he gave me an option to internally mock him but now that has become stale.

    He probably has similar complaints about me but they aren't my concern. Is there anything I can do or say so I don't have to put up with him? E.g. how do I get him to shut up or how can I bond with him so my opinion of him becomes more favourable. My overall opinion of him at present is that he's just a pathetic joke.

    Thanks.

  10. #190
    Ratchet Ass Moon Fairy Comeback Girl's Avatar
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    @Standuble
    Is there anything I can do or say so I don't have to put up with him? E.g. how do I get him to shut up or how can I bond with him so my opinion of him becomes more favourable.
    Well, you can't just change people, so that's not an option. The first thing that comes to mind to me is something like 'live and let live', but then again this doesn't change the situation. Are there any specific things he does that you don't like about him? Because in that case it would be the best to let him face the consequences of these actions. And if you think there isn't much of a chance that there will be any consequences, increase the chance that there will. Does he do anything annoying that could lead to him breaking something, but hasn't he broken anything yet by doing it? If it's not too much of a valuable object, make sure that this object will break when he does it again and let him see that it's his fault. In that case he probably won't do it again.

    However, when there is nothing specific he does wrong, just live and let live. You can't get along with everyone. Plus, the silent treatment doesn't work with ESFPs, unless the ESFP thinks the two of you are close. I'd just be like 'Okay, that person is a) just silent, b) just boring or c) just doesn't like me, so I guess I can just ignore the situation and not let it bother me'. We can live with it, because we're intuitards who don't think about things like this all the time. Being an intuitard is quite awesome, you know?


    @Wind-Up Rex
    Ever thought of becoming a journalist?
    I write for a magazine for my fellow psychology students and I also edit it, so I'm kinda doing this right now too. When I was younger I considered becoming a journalist, but over the years I got less and less interested in the news, because why bother keeping up with it if I can't change anything about it?

    What you've described as engaging definitely resonates. In most social situations, I've got to feel just the right kind of connection with the people around me in order for me not to check out. Sex always helps. If there's someone around I wouldn't mind making out with, then I'm instantly more involved than if there isn't. Other times, things just kind of line up (right headspace, had enough to drink to feel uninhibited, ect.) and I feel this kind of surge in me where the energy in the room is mine, and I'm the center of everything. It's hard to describe, but I wondered if you relate to that at all? I had always associated that energetic awareness with Se. It's got a kind of an unrestrained quality, a wildness to it, that ESFPs I've known seem to have in spades.
    Yup, I totally relate to it. My idea of the worst night out is a night where my company is 100% female and all they do is sit down around a table, drinking organic mint tea (cause that's what most boring girls my age drink), complaining about their relationships for the entire night (with the most common complain being 'OMG MY BF DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!' or 'OMG MY BF DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!!!!!', because that what most non-single girls my age complain about). Preferably in a gay bar, because all male strangers will be gay and therefore not interested in me. I usually don't really dare to admit this in real life, but indeed: if there are no potential sex partners around and I don't get any attention or any opportunity to act crazy and people joining me, I'll be extremely bored. I think I'm one of the few girls who'd be better off single, because if I were in a relationship any chance of having a good time without my partner would have to involve me getting tons of attention.

    Maybe that's the "high-energy" you're describing? One of my best friends is a gay ESFP guy that I met in college. We have this sort of mutual catalytic effect in terms of that quality where we'd just push each other for more intensity, more pleasure, more dancing, more food, more feeling, more, more, more--just pushing that energy as high as it could go. Insatiably. Forever.
    Yes, sort of. Except for the food, because most of the time I don't have much of an appetite.

    What are your feelings about planning? The stereotype would suggest that it wouldn't be your bag. I've discovered that there's something to the old wisdom about their being more pleasure in delayed gratification. It's not just the attainment of the thing, but the process of making an idea actual. Nothing compares to bringing something that was just a thought in my head into being for me. Not even sex.
    I stopped buying planners when I noticed I never used them anyway and they'd be just a waste of money and paper. Sure I plan things, activities and stuff, but not too much. Besides, I usually have to adapt to way to many situations to keep up a strict planning. It just doesn't work for me. However, I can become a control freak and I have to work on a project in a group. In that case I do start planning and usually I'm the only one who keeps herself to it. I wish I had a whip that would fit in my handbag, so I could whip people if they don't do as I say.

    So my last question is what do you want to do with your life? In a perfect world in which all things were possible, where are you and what would you be doing?
    I have no clue what I want with my life. When I was younger I was really ambitious, but I lost it along the way. Now I just want to live day by day and have some fun if possible. I don't think I can say what my life would be like in the ideal world, because there could be kids reading this. Let's say it includes a desert island, four hot men with ripped bodies, cocktails and lots of sleeping.
    Ewww is the new sexy


    Hi! Ask me things, maybe I'll answer them! Just click here

    And here's my functions: Se-Te-Fi-Fe-Ni-Ti-Ne-Si


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