[MENTION=14363]Standuble[/MENTION]
Is there anything I can do or say so I don't have to put up with him? E.g. how do I get him to shut up or how can I bond with him so my opinion of him becomes more favourable.
Well, you can't just change people, so that's not an option. The first thing that comes to mind to me is something like 'live and let live', but then again this doesn't change the situation. Are there any specific things he does that you don't like about him? Because in that case it would be the best to let him face the consequences of these actions. And if you think there isn't much of a chance that there will be any consequences, increase the chance that there will. Does he do anything annoying that could lead to him breaking something, but hasn't he broken anything yet by doing it? If it's not too much of a valuable object, make sure that this object will break when he does it again and let him see that it's his fault. In that case he probably won't do it again.
However, when there is nothing specific he does wrong, just live and let live. You can't get along with everyone. Plus, the silent treatment doesn't work with ESFPs, unless the ESFP thinks the two of you are close. I'd just be like 'Okay, that person is a) just silent, b) just boring or c) just doesn't like me, so I guess I can just ignore the situation and not let it bother me'. We can live with it, because we're intuitards who don't think about things like this all the time. Being an intuitard is quite awesome, you know?
[MENTION=7254]Wind-Up Rex[/MENTION]
Ever thought of becoming a journalist?
I write for a magazine for my fellow psychology students and I also edit it, so I'm kinda doing this right now too. When I was younger I considered becoming a journalist, but over the years I got less and less interested in the news, because why bother keeping up with it if I can't change anything about it?
What you've described as engaging definitely resonates. In most social situations, I've got to feel just the right kind of connection with the people around me in order for me not to check out. Sex always helps. If there's someone around I wouldn't mind making out with, then I'm instantly more involved than if there isn't. Other times, things just kind of line up (right headspace, had enough to drink to feel uninhibited, ect.) and I feel this kind of surge in me where the energy in the room is mine, and I'm the center of everything. It's hard to describe, but I wondered if you relate to that at all? I had always associated that energetic awareness with Se. It's got a kind of an unrestrained quality, a wildness to it, that ESFPs I've known seem to have in spades.
Yup, I totally relate to it. My idea of the worst night out is a night where my company is 100% female and all they do is sit down around a table, drinking organic mint tea (cause that's what most boring girls my age drink), complaining about their relationships for the entire night (with the most common complain being 'OMG MY BF DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!' or 'OMG MY BF DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!!!!!', because that what most non-single girls my age complain about). Preferably in a gay bar, because all male strangers will be gay and therefore not interested in me. I usually don't really dare to admit this in real life, but indeed: if there are no potential sex partners around and I don't get any attention or any opportunity to act crazy and people joining me, I'll be extremely bored. I think I'm one of the few girls who'd be better off single, because if I were in a relationship any chance of having a good time without my partner would have to involve me getting tons of attention.
Maybe that's the "high-energy" you're describing? One of my best friends is a gay ESFP guy that I met in college. We have this sort of mutual catalytic effect in terms of that quality where we'd just push each other for more intensity, more pleasure, more dancing, more food, more feeling, more, more, more--just pushing that energy as high as it could go. Insatiably. Forever.
Yes, sort of. Except for the food, because most of the time I don't have much of an appetite.
What are your feelings about planning? The stereotype would suggest that it wouldn't be your bag. I've discovered that there's something to the old wisdom about their being more pleasure in delayed gratification. It's not just the attainment of the thing, but the process of making an idea actual. Nothing compares to bringing something that was just a thought in my head into being for me. Not even sex.
I stopped buying planners when I noticed I never used them anyway and they'd be just a waste of money and paper. Sure I plan things, activities and stuff, but not too much. Besides, I usually have to adapt to way to many situations to keep up a strict planning. It just doesn't work for me. However, I can become a control freak and I have to work on a project in a group. In that case I do start planning and usually I'm the only one who keeps herself to it. I wish I had a whip that would fit in my handbag, so I could whip people if they don't do as I say.
So my last question is what do you want to do with your life? In a perfect world in which all things were possible, where are you and what would you be doing?
I have no clue what I want with my life. When I was younger I was really ambitious, but I lost it along the way. Now I just want to live day by day and have some fun if possible. I don't think I can say what my life would be like in the ideal world, because there could be kids reading this. Let's say it includes a desert island, four hot men with ripped bodies, cocktails and lots of sleeping.
I go now, thanks for the online chat.
wink
