[ISFP] Confused

[aireal]

So lately I've found that I can't stand even being near certain family members, I don't know why I feel this way. Sometimes I absolutely hate being at home around them. Except when I'm not around my family I feel very happy, almost like a different person (ie when I am working or out with friends) I know it sounds pretty harsh and I wonder if this is normal? Can anyone else relate, is this just an issue with independance? Both my other siblings moved out of the house when they were 15 and 16...... any types that can relate or were in similar situations??

 

[Magic Poriferan]

I can't stand my parents. Some of it is rationally justified, because they were kind of crappy parents and sort of dysfunctional people (hah. "sort of"), but on top of that, there's just a burning sense of aggrivation from being around them that I know is irrational. I don't know why it happens, but it started about 5 or 6 years ago, so I would have been 14/13.

I feel so much better when I'm away from them. I feel like I'm never realy myself so long as I'm in the range of my family. I empathize with you.


That being said, I'm going to leave to spend the weekend at my parents' in a couple of hours.

 

[aireal]

I can't stand my parents. Some of it is rationally justified, because they were kind of crappy parents and sort of dysfunctional people (hah. "sort of"), but on top of that, there's just a burning sense of aggrivation from being around them that I know is irrational. I don't know why it happens, but it started about 5 or 6 years ago, so I would have been 14/13.

I feel so much better when I'm away from them. I feel like I'm never realy myself so long as I'm in the range of my family. I empathize with you.


That being said, I'm going to leave to spend the weekend at my parents' in a couple of hours.

Well my parents aren't really that bad its just they dont understand my need for space, freedom from structure and the fact that I can sometimes change my mind very quickly. They are also too demanding and quite judgemental so likewise i don't feel like i am myself around them It's good to know I'm not the only one cause I do feel guilty about feeling like this.

Anyways I wish you luck with visiting your parents

 

[Sunshine]

Well my parents aren't really that bad its just they dont understand my need for space, freedom from structure and the fact that I can sometimes change my mind very quickly. They are also too demanding and quite judgemental so likewise i don't feel like i am myself around them It's good to know I'm not the only one cause I do feel guilty about feeling like this.

Anyways I wish you luck with visiting your parents

I can totally relate.

 

["?"]

So lately I've found that I can't stand even being near certain family members, I don't know why I feel this way. Sometimes I absolutely hate being at home around them. Except when I'm not around my family I feel very happy, almost like a different person (ie when I am working or out with friends) I know it sounds pretty harsh and I wonder if this is normal? Can anyone else relate, is this just an issue with independance? Both my other siblings moved out of the house when they were 15 and 16...... any types that can relate or were in similar situations??

This has nothing to do with type. It's time to go on your own, plain and simple. Keep in mind if you are feeling this way, your family members are probably equally feeling the same about you. So the question is, who has the courage to make the first move?

 

[aireal]

This has nothing to do with type. It's time to go on your own, plain and simple. Keep in mind if you are feeling this way, your family members are probably equally feeling the same about you. So the question is, who has the courage to make the first move?

yes true, true.... i do have someone to go and move in with, i would in a heart beat except she says I should tough it out for the rest of the summer, save money and then move out (sigh).... maybe I should just tell her that I need to move out now?

 

["?"]

I may have been too hasty with my response. How old are you and when alluding to "she" in the previous post, are you meaning the person that you are moving in with are your mother, or someone else?

 

[aireal]

well thats the thing, i'm only 16 and I would be moving in with my older sister, i would stilll be going to school.... its just that I told my mother some very personal information and now it seems like she keeps using it against me in a negative way everytime we get into an argument, i just feel i need my independance which is hard because we live a 3 and a half hour walk out of town. Oh yes and I have a feeling my mother may have bipolar...

 

["?"]

Well contrary to your first assertion you do know exactly why you prefer not to be close to your mom. Your reasons are legit, but should not be aired here. If the two of you can, I would suggest maybe speaking to a family counselor. This is not a type matter.

 

[alicia91]

Don't you need to be 18 to live away from your parents? Will your sister get custody? Are you planning on going to college/university - will they be paying? Just wondering if you couldn't suck it up for two more years and fininsh school living at home.

Just from what you've written it sounds like typical teen/parents stuff but I could be wrong. The teen wants more space, freedom, etc. and the parents don't want to let them have it - very typical. I am ISTP and have a 15 1/2 yo daughter and still closely supervise/monitor her. That's the job of a parent - to protect them and continue to teach them until adulthood. I see all 'types' doing that - heck even my own ISFP mother did that! Of course at the time I thought my mother was very controlling and I didn't get it until I was older and a parent myself.

What I'm saying is YES!! - a lot of this is normal. Don't try to grow up too soon - you have the rest of your life for that.

 

["?"]

Don't you need to be 18 to live away from your parents? Will your sister get custody? Are you planning on going to college/university - will they be paying? Just wondering if you couldn't suck it up for two more years and fininsh school living at home.

Just from what you've written it sounds like typical teen/parents stuff but I could be wrong. The teen wants more space, freedom, etc. and the parents don't want to let them have it - very typical. I am ISTP and have a 15 1/2 yo daughter and still closely supervise/monitor her. That's the job of a parent - to protect them and continue to teach them until adulthood. I see all 'types' doing that - heck even my own ISFP mother did that! Of course at the time I thought my mother was very controlling and I didn't get it until I was older and a parent myself.

What I'm saying is YES!! - a lot of this is normal. Don't try to grow up too soon - you have the rest of your life for that.

And llet us say AMEN!

 

[colmena]

Can anyone else relate..?

If my mother or father walk into a room I am in, I start to feel incredibly uncomfortable and irritable, I'll start to get hot and itchy, and will have to leave.

My favourite time of the day is when I am left alone after dinner (I eat very slowly). The contrast between discomfort and the all embracing solitude is wonderful.

I haven't spoken to my Grandparents in years, one of them is now dead. I'll get aggressively upset if I hear the sound of my Grandmother's voice over the telephone.

This combination has pretty much alienated me from everyone.

On the other hand, I like and respect my brother very much. We're somewhat estranged, but I remain passively fond of him.

 

[01011010]

Can anyone else relate, is this just an issue with independance? Both my other siblings moved out of the house when they were 15 and 16...... any types that can relate or were in similar situations??

I was emancipated from my Mother who was sole custodian, after I was given an opportunity to become a full fledged university student, at age 15. I had far more external factors than you, as the situation wasn't best for my physical or emotional well being. Luckily, I had a full scholarship and the ability to get out of the situation.

I'm not sure my case really applies here. As you seem to be asking about general annoyance. Nevertheless, if an early college program is an option for you, I highly recommend it. You would live on campus away from your parents. The university credits would be counted as the rest of your high school requirements. Most people go for their 11th and 12th grade year. Though, I have met a few people as young as 12, in the program as well. There are eleven schools like that in the U.S. I'm not sure if they have institutions like that in Canada.

 

[aireal]

Don't you need to be 18 to live away from your parents? Will your sister get custody? Are you planning on going to college/university - will they be paying? Just wondering if you couldn't suck it up for two more years and fininsh school living at home.

In Canada the legal age to leave home at is 16. I don't plan on attending university or college. I prefer to learn from other outlets rather then from the standards of our corrupt government. Yes I know I can suck it up for two more years, its just that sometimes I wonder why I should bother, I know all the cliche reasons like don't grow up too fast, you have all your life to work etc. I've been talking with my sister and she says once I get my license things will be a lot different ( we live a 3 and a half hour walk outside of town and there are no bus routes). It's just mainly that I hate how I can't really be myself around my parents and was wondering if this is normal with other people, which i suppose it is.