Sometimes all three! But usually just reserved. I try not to be though, cause then people sometimes think you're implicitly aggreeing with them, or else read into silence in all sorts of other strange ways.
Agreed! With all of it! Other people reading into shit I do or don't do pisses me off, so sometimes I lay down the word. Generally I'm reserved. People have to ask me questions and strike my interest for me to speak up. I usually assume that anything I have to say isn't interesting to those around me (that is, if I don't know them well).
Originally Posted by wolfy
Meeting someone unexpectedly often throws me.
lol, me too.
I 65.63% E 34.38% S 68.75% N 31.25% T 87.1% F 12.9% P 66.67% J 33.33%
My best friend in the universe is an ISTP. I wouldn't say 'shy' was a word that really comes to mind about him. Reserved perhaps, but not shy - shy is my sister, who's been known to go a long distance just to do a certain thing, and then seriously consider going back just because when she gets there, it isn't immediately apparent which door to go through and she won't ask the receptionist or whatever. THAT is shy.
My ISTP wouldn't have any trouble with asking strangers for the time/a light/directions etc. and when it's non-strangers at a dinner party, but people he's still not very familiar with, he's still fine to ask them to pass the corkscrew or any question he feels like asking (unlike my sister, who'd go without wine rather than ask for the corkscrew).
But on the other hand, he can sometimes be a bit overly self-effacing, needlessly so, when he talks. I think he thinks he's less bright than he is in reality (he is very bright), and sometimes assumes that whoever's in the room is bound to be cleverer than him, so I often see him venturing opinions or information, then sorta trying to dismiss his own words as if applying 'attack first' to himself, like he's sure everyone'll think he's stupid or wrong or whatever.
Particularly if a 'big word' is involved in articulating his ideas - he'll say the word perfectly, and I know that the only way to make him keep talking is if I show no reaction whatsoever to his use of this word. And whilst in normal circumstances I wouldn't even notice, it's hard not to notice or react when I can see that he's suddenly all nervous and looking at me like he's trying to see if I'm inwardly laughing at him for pronouncing it wrongly or something. And it's weird cos I've never ever corrected him once. He's rarely ever needed it and as often as not he can correct me. But I have to just not even blink and act like I haven't noticed he used a big word, if I want him to just carry on with what he was saying (which I do).
And he stops himself talking all the time, starts telling himself to shut up right when he's really starting to open up and pique people's fascination.
I dunno, it's like he has a self-destruct mechanism: he believes everyone thinks he's dumb, but then he creates a viscious circle by not letting himself say anything that would prove otherwise.
He's still a top dude though. I mean he really knows his stuff.
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"When it all comes down to dust
I will kill you if I must
I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen
I've been very shy (almost social phobic) in the past, I mostly overcame it a few years ago, but I'm still somewhat restrained in many situations. I view it as a problem of mine, not a temperament trait, and I *hate* it because it prevents me from doing things I'd like to do.
On the other hand, even now that I've won most of my past problems, I still simply don't enjoy big companies, parties and such, I often prefer to see my (few) friends one at a time rather than all together. I usually avoid meeting new people because they distract me from the task at hand and/or from my hobbies (<-which is also the main reason why I've always avoided being too socially involved). So yes I'm very reserved.
Maybe it has something to do with having both INTP and ISTP traits.
If only there was some sort of obvious indicator that would tell you which people would be interesting to talk to and which people would end up boring you to no end.
small talk is utterly useless, puts me to sleep, plz talk about something cool like blowing shit up or running away from the canine unit, even if its a lie i don't care it's interesting, thank you.