• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[SP] why are people so soft?

jixmixfix

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
4,278
I had a friend who was very into urban scaling (climbing high rise buildings with no equipment). Maybe find something cool like that or people who like to go Whitewater rafting or something? I definitely want to do that and skydiving before the year is out

I'm not the biggest fan of heights i love water though especially motor boating . I Also like anything to do with speed. Extreme stuff isn't even what i'm talking about though some of the friends i know go home at 12:00 on a friday night.....
 

jryn1993

New member
Joined
Dec 5, 2012
Messages
53
MBTI Type
ISTP
I don't worry about other people being soft/boring. I just focus on what I'm doing and generally the people I hang out with are on about the same level of adventurousness as myself.
 

Il Morto Che Parla

New member
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
1,260
MBTI Type
xxTP
I'm no cockblocker. I think I've been cool there. My inferior "Fe" is like.. "Hey, give this poor bastard a shot." Even if I call them bastards, that's nice right? ;)

No-one will cock block a poor bastard. I mean when some guy is all over a girl you like, that's the test.
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
9,661
MBTI Type
iSFj
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I believe competing in boxing or MMA makes you braver than before. Not sure about having fun tho.
 

Cellmold

Wake, See, Sing, Dance
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
6,266
This is something ive given some thought to in my life. When I was younger I was surrounded by those who seemed hemmed in by the impulse to experience ever greater and greater risks and who were insistent that those around them take the same.

For myself I rejected this, if there were risks to be taken I should take them on my own initiative and I did not need the peer pressures or motivation from those whose pursuits seemed mindless and pointless.

Yet as I observed them I suddenly realised that I should be observing myself instead. The first notion that arose from this was that they were not 'hemmed in' as I had so rashly and arrogantly complained, but instead, for those brief moments of intense experience within the risks they were taking; for them it was a transcendence from all their current worries.

In those moments they were not themselves or anyone for that matter, they were truly free in definition and nothing tied them down. For them this was life being lived in the purest sense.

However it is important to remember that despite this realisation I did not suddenly become a risk taker in the sense that they were, I did not suddenly find the urge for the activities they were so ready to champion to others.

But I did realise that both of us feared not each other, but a difference in perspective that the other possessed ; I feared the outcome which could not be discerned before hand, they feared the outcome that comes from a cage of discernment.

Until this realisation we had projected that fear onto each other as a personification, missing where the true element of that fear lay.

Through this my fear dispersed and I learned to respect the differences in taste and temperament. We all have our own risks and they need not be physical to exist.
 

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
No-one will cock block a poor bastard. I mean when some guy is all over a girl you like, that's the test.

I bet on the woman deciding then. Difference with you ETPs (yeah, I'm gonna type you E) is you all think you need to be an active/present agent of things. I'm sure that works too (maybe more often), but you can also just hang out at another table, talk to some other people for awhile, enjoy yourself, and still end up connecting with the same girl who had another guy in her face all night.

Not sure how this got started in this thread, but that's my 2c.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I'm obviously not an SP, but I'm honestly tickled to death to be just as soft as life allows me to be. I want to live a long time and I don't want to ache from healed up broken bones on cold, rainy days when I'm an old grandmother.

I am happy that I live in a time that I got to choose my husband and that there was little risk of my dying in childbirth and that all of my children have lived to be teenagers and are healthy. These have not been givens for women for very long and in many places they still are not.

We have a warmish house with all the utilities on. We have a full freezer. We have a running vehicle with insurance. We can even go to the doctor if we need to.

I have not always had some of these things. I know people that do not have them now. I do not take them for granted and I will not risk them by putting myself in unnecessarily risky situations. I know how quickly a bad illness or an injury could make them seem like luxuries.

I suppose if I could afford to take more risks, I'd try some stuff like traveling to exotic locations and maybe climbing or rafting. I'd almost certainly participate in political protests (I am, after all, an NF) and probably get arrested at least once.

But it was not an easy climb to get where we are now and I really, really love having a warmish house, plenty of food, reliable transportation without having to worry about not having insurance if I get pulled over and being able to go to the doctor if I get sick. Those are pretty wonderful things. Unless and until I know I wouldn't put them at risk, I will am content to live my hobbity life. I am, after all, doing it on the backs of many and on the edge of a cliff.

So perhaps it is about perspective and about adrenaline tolerance? Honestly, my mother is an SP and, my God, my childhood was almost more than this poor little mouse could take. I couldn't get off that roller coaster fast enough.
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,342
MBTI Type
JINX
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm somewhat of a thrill-seeker, & have a tendency to take risks/give into impulses at certain points, but over time I had to temper such activities, and pay attention to my overall physical health. I don't mind getting dinged up- physically or otherwise- but if I'm not in decent shape to begin with, it's certainly harder to bounce back. If I want to continue adventuring as long as possible, I've got to learn to take better care of myself, in general.

I'll make a sidenote that most of my adventuring buddies- the people who remind me to get out of my head- have been _STP friends; the tried & true cliche. They're definitely a personal favorite for such undertakings. Few people I interact with these days seem to share these interests, unfortunately.

I have no attachment to physical possessions/housing, so I've no reservations when it comes to taking financial or legal risks, as the benefits would certainly outweigh the cost. Cost means precious little when there's nothing to really subtract from. I value this freedom, & couldn't imagine authentically living without it.

When it comes to risks of the metaphysical/emotional, I've always been quite secretive, & over time more circumspect. Things stay under the radar, & that's how I prefer it.
 

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
I'm somewhat of a thrill-seeker, & have a tendency to take risks/give into impulses at certain points, but over time I had to temper such activities, and pay attention to my overall physical health. I don't mind getting dinged up- physically or otherwise- but if I'm not in decent shape to begin with, it's certainly harder to bounce back. If I want to continue adventuring as long as possible, I've got to learn to take better care of myself, in general.

I'll make a sidenote that most of my adventuring buddies- the people who remind me to get out of my head- have been _STP friends; the tried & true cliche. They're definitely a personal favorite for such undertakings. Few people I interact with these days seem to share these interests, unfortunately.

When it comes to risks of the metaphysical, I've always been quite secretive, & over time more circumspect. Things stay under the radar, & that's how I prefer it.

This is how I think, more or less (we probably have different motives for it though). It's kind of funny that two introverts on the "Se Ni" spectrum think alike. I wouldn't say I came to this conclusion as a natural development process though. I fried my brain and walked past some dead friends in the process. Some things just change your life.


Money is also a big factor. The actual legitimate ways of adventure are for rich fucks. Yeah, motorboats are cool. They're also irrelevant. I have, what Marx would call, "class consciousness". I'm not going to bullshit myself into attaining things out of my range.
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,342
MBTI Type
JINX
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
This is how I think, more or less (obviously, we probably have different motives for it though). It's kind of funny too introverts on the "Se Ni" spectrum think alike. I wouldn't say I came to this conclusion as a natural development process though. I fried my brain and walked past some dead friends in the process. Some things just change your life.

Money is also a big factor. The actual legitimate ways of adventure are for rich fucks. Yeah, motorboats are cool. They're also irrelevant. I have, what Marx would call, "class consciousness". I'm not going to bullshit myself into attaining things out of my range.

I figure one can live quite happily in the gray area. Rent when/if you want to use expensive things. Otherwise you'll live to work to pay for shit you hardly use because you've got a schedule to keep to pay for all your shit you lost the time to 'enjoy.' In the end, the clock winds down- it's all gone. The shit. The money. The choices, chances. You.

Life's for rent, time's the currency.
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
9,661
MBTI Type
iSFj
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Look, let's just start making dares in this thread and get it over with. ( but I'm not doing it lmao)
 

chickpea

perfect person
Joined
Sep 12, 2009
Messages
5,729
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
you're just hanging out with the wrong people. and choosing to spend your time on a forum.

I split my time between being very boring and crazy.
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,342
MBTI Type
JINX
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx

1487610420

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
6,431
I had a friend who was very into urban scaling (climbing high rise buildings with no equipment). Maybe find something cool like that or people who like to go Whitewater rafting or something? I definitely want to do that and skydiving before the year is out
Was he french?

Look, let's just start making dares in this thread and get it over with. ( but I'm not doing it lmao)


 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Not everyone is risk-taking in a physical way, we may define a "risk" every differently, and we may define "fun" quite differently also.

I find a lot of physical risks dull. It kind of all blurs into each other so that it feels the same. It's just another kind of routine.
That's not to say I don't get a rush from physical experiences sometimes, but it often doesn't mean enough to me to want to pursue it. It's disappointing and unfulfilling. It's not worth the energy. I think less about consequences in a practical sense, frankly, than whether something is worth the energy...

From my NF perspective, I tend to think - "Why is everyone so shallow & thoughtless? It seems all people want to do is pursue hedonistic thrills and never think about anything indepth." :tongue:
 

jixmixfix

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
4,278
Not everyone is risk-taking in a physical way, we may define a "risk" every differently, and we may define "fun" quite differently also.

I find a lot of physical risks dull. It kind of all blurs into each other so that it feels the same. It's just another kind of routine.
That's not to say I don't get a rush from physical experiences sometimes, but it often doesn't mean enough to me to want to pursue it. It's disappointing and unfulfilling. It's not worth the energy. I think less about consequences in a practical sense, frankly, than whether something is worth the energy...

From my NF perspective, I tend to think - "Why is everyone so shallow & thoughtless? It seems all people want to do is pursue hedonistic thrills and never think about anything indepth." :tongue:

What do you mean by non physical risk? gambling?
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
Yeah, I was quite taken aback by my recent friends. They had the nerve to suggest that we go to a national park (they've done this multiple times now) only to sit there on the eve of the forest on a park bench and fucking read! The nerve of these people! Luckily there was one other present that would at least go on a hike, so we do that now while the little precious ones read and fend off mosquitos.

I mean, I'm not one to really do crazy or life-threatening shit (not while sober, at any rate), so that level of reserve and...I don't know, physical inhibition is frankly new to me. You've got to move your body for chrissakes!
 
Top